what's on your mind, right now?

whispering hands

deadendp said:

FrankieG said:

Wedding update... Had 2 shots, danced the night away, great night... Until my date ends up in another guys room... She has already friend zoned me, but Im still really pissed. I have a 4 hour drive home with her tomorrow, how can I make this somewhat bearable or what should I say to her to make her guilty? Fuck this...

Can't she find her own way home? She found her own way to someone else's room. Sorry to be mean, but she can get home on her own. That should make her feel guilty enough.

It's not mean, gets the message across and sets the boundary from then on. Tell her to ask her stand in for a ride home.

markymark550

whispering hands said:

It is Exactly one week from both my 42nd birthday, as well as my 1st year sober birthday! I can't believe all the changes in my life in just one year! I also detest alcohol.. That's huge for me!! ( as I used to plan everything around my being able to consume it). I am happier now than I have been in years! And a lot of that has to do with the support I've found here, so thank you all!

Congrats!

whispering hands

markymark550 said:

whispering hands said:

It is Exactly one week from both my 42nd birthday, as well as my 1st year sober birthday! I can't believe all the changes in my life in just one year! I also detest alcohol.. That's huge for me!! ( as I used to plan everything around my being able to consume it). I am happier now than I have been in years! And a lot of that has to do with the support I've found here, so thank you all!

Congrats!

Thank you.

SD48277

FrankieG said:

Wedding update... Had 2 shots, danced the night away, great night... Until my date ends up in another guys room... She has already friend zoned me, but Im still really pissed. I have a 4 hour drive home with her tomorrow, how can I make this somewhat bearable or what should I say to her to make her guilty? Fuck this...

First off: Mazel Tov! on your friend's wedding. Second: sorry to hear your date was a turd. I agree with Amy...she can find her own ride home. However, we know that you are a good guy and will drive her back. For what it's worth, because you are such a nice guy, you deserve better than this girl. Soon a better woman will come along, and she will appreciate how awesome you are. It's ok to put this girl in your RVM.

SD48277

whispering hands said:

It is Exactly one week from both my 42nd birthday, as well as my 1st year sober birthday! I can't believe all the changes in my life in just one year! I also detest alcohol.. That's huge for me!! ( as I used to plan everything around my being able to consume it). I am happier now than I have been in years! And a lot of that has to do with the support I've found here, so thank you all!

Congratulations on your sobriety birthday! You know you always have our support.

Nami

SD48277 said:

FrankieG said:

Wedding update... Had 2 shots, danced the night away, great night... Until my date ends up in another guys room... She has already friend zoned me, but Im still really pissed. I have a 4 hour drive home with her tomorrow, how can I make this somewhat bearable or what should I say to her to make her guilty? Fuck this...

First off: Mazel Tov! on your friend's wedding. Second: sorry to hear your date was a turd. I agree with Amy...she can find her own ride home. However, we know that you are a good guy and will drive her back. For what it's worth, because you are such a nice guy, you deserve better than this girl. Soon a better woman will come along, and she will appreciate how awesome you are. It's ok to put this girl in your RVM.

sorry to chime in but if you are strictly friends, friend zoned you as you mentioned, then the wedding was just a couple of buds getting together for a good time nothing more. It is a bad move on her part leaving you hanging, but in the end you have to give her a ride home as boundaries were set from the get go.

i dont know the history, just going on your initial post. good luck on the next date with a new lady!

Hobbes

whispering hands said:

It is Exactly one week from both my 42nd birthday, as well as my 1st year sober birthday! I can't believe all the changes in my life in just one year! I also detest alcohol.. That's huge for me!! ( as I used to plan everything around my being able to consume it). I am happier now than I have been in years! And a lot of that has to do with the support I've found here, so thank you all!

This is AWESOME!

FrankieG

Nami said:

SD48277 said:

FrankieG said:

Wedding update... Had 2 shots, danced the night away, great night... Until my date ends up in another guys room... She has already friend zoned me, but Im still really pissed. I have a 4 hour drive home with her tomorrow, how can I make this somewhat bearable or what should I say to her to make her guilty? Fuck this...

First off: Mazel Tov! on your friend's wedding. Second: sorry to hear your date was a turd. I agree with Amy...she can find her own ride home. However, we know that you are a good guy and will drive her back. For what it's worth, because you are such a nice guy, you deserve better than this girl. Soon a better woman will come along, and she will appreciate how awesome you are. It's ok to put this girl in your RVM.

sorry to chime in but if you are strictly friends, friend zoned you as you mentioned, then the wedding was just a couple of buds getting together for a good time nothing more. It is a bad move on her part leaving you hanging, but in the end you have to give her a ride home as boundaries were set from the get go.

i dont know the history, just going on your initial post. good luck on the next date with a new lady!

The car ride has been near silence so far. I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind about 30 min out. The initial agreement of me driving both ways was exactly the reason for me not leaving. She did seem kinda hesitant to get out of the car before me at the rest stop ha

ldent42

FrankieG said:

Nami said:

SD48277 said:

FrankieG said:

Wedding update... Had 2 shots, danced the night away, great night... Until my date ends up in another guys room... She has already friend zoned me, but Im still really pissed. I have a 4 hour drive home with her tomorrow, how can I make this somewhat bearable or what should I say to her to make her guilty? Fuck this...

First off: Mazel Tov! on your friend's wedding. Second: sorry to hear your date was a turd. I agree with Amy...she can find her own ride home. However, we know that you are a good guy and will drive her back. For what it's worth, because you are such a nice guy, you deserve better than this girl. Soon a better woman will come along, and she will appreciate how awesome you are. It's ok to put this girl in your RVM.

sorry to chime in but if you are strictly friends, friend zoned you as you mentioned, then the wedding was just a couple of buds getting together for a good time nothing more. It is a bad move on her part leaving you hanging, but in the end you have to give her a ride home as boundaries were set from the get go.

i dont know the history, just going on your initial post. good luck on the next date with a new lady!

The car ride has been near silence so far. I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind about 30 min out. The initial agreement of me driving both ways was exactly the reason for me not leaving. She did seem kinda hesitant to get out of the car before me at the rest stop ha

Yea you can't leave her stranded. Just ignore her and after you drop her off never speak to her again. Period. It's one thing to agree to go as a friend's date to a wedding, it's another thing to end up hooking up with some random dude at the wedding. It's disrespectful because it could be embarrassing for you, if this guy goes blabbing that he hooked up with some one else's date. It's ok to go as friends without expectations but there's no reason to act like that.

Amongst the Ani

whispering hands said:

It is Exactly one week from both my 42nd birthday, as well as my 1st year sober birthday! I can't believe all the changes in my life in just one year! I also detest alcohol.. That's huge for me!! ( as I used to plan everything around my being able to consume it). I am happier now than I have been in years! And a lot of that has to do with the support I've found here, so thank you all!

Happy pre-bday. Congrats on the year. You are an inspiration for me to keep going on this path as well.

Pap

SD48277 said:

It's ok to put this girl in your RVM.

And the prize for the Best Post of 2015 goes to... SD! Amazing line!

Pap

I feel honoured, humbled and grateful at the same time!

Pap

jennycoyle said:

Counting Crows were great tonight!

It was indeed! Thank you Jenny! PM sent...

Pap

samjam said:

A festival I bought tickets to right when they went onsale is having an amazing deal...4 tickets plus 4 tshirts for $222 total...I paid $190 total for 2 tickets and no tshirts. Dammit. Thinking about the $$ I could have saved hurts! Dammit!

I don't know if you've seen this, but I immediately thought of you and your hometown Sam.

smarchee said:

Back in his broken hometown, Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist Charlie LeDuff searches through the ruins for clues to its fate, his family’s, and his own. Detroit is where his mother’s flower shop was firebombed in the pre-Halloween orgy of arson known as Devil’s Night; where his sister lost herself to the west side streets; where his brother, who once sold subprime mortgages with skill and silk, now works in a factory cleaning Chinese-manufactured screws so they can be repackaged as “May Be Made in United States.”

Having led us on the way up, Detroit now seems to be leading us on the way down. Once the richest city in America, Detroit is now the nation’s poorest. Once the vanguard of America’s machine age—mass production, blue-collar jobs, and automobiles—Detroit is now America’s capital for unemployment, illiteracy, dropouts, and foreclosures. It is an eerie and angry place of deserted factories and abandoned homes and forgotten people. Trees and switchgrass and wild animals have come back to reclaim their right¬ful places. Coyotes are here. The pigeons have left. A city the size of San Francisco and Manhattan could neatly fit into Detroit’s vacant lots. After revealing that the city’s murder rate is higher than the official police number—making it the highest in the country—a weary old detective tells LeDuff, “In this city two plus two equals three.”

samjam

Pap said:

samjam said:

A festival I bought tickets to right when they went onsale is having an amazing deal...4 tickets plus 4 tshirts for $222 total...I paid $190 total for 2 tickets and no tshirts. Dammit. Thinking about the $$ I could have saved hurts! Dammit!

I don't know if you've seen this, but I immediately thought of you and your hometown Sam.

smarchee said:

Back in his broken hometown, Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist Charlie LeDuff searches through the ruins for clues to its fate, his family’s, and his own. Detroit is where his mother’s flower shop was firebombed in the pre-Halloween orgy of arson known as Devil’s Night; where his sister lost herself to the west side streets; where his brother, who once sold subprime mortgages with skill and silk, now works in a factory cleaning Chinese-manufactured screws so they can be repackaged as “May Be Made in United States.”

Having led us on the way up, Detroit now seems to be leading us on the way down. Once the richest city in America, Detroit is now the nation’s poorest. Once the vanguard of America’s machine age—mass production, blue-collar jobs, and automobiles—Detroit is now America’s capital for unemployment, illiteracy, dropouts, and foreclosures. It is an eerie and angry place of deserted factories and abandoned homes and forgotten people. Trees and switchgrass and wild animals have come back to reclaim their right¬ful places. Coyotes are here. The pigeons have left. A city the size of San Francisco and Manhattan could neatly fit into Detroit’s vacant lots. After revealing that the city’s murder rate is higher than the official police number—making it the highest in the country—a weary old detective tells LeDuff, “In this city two plus two equals three.”

Thanks for thinking of me! I am actually a New Yorker, and that will always, always be home. Just living near Detroit at the moment!

I've heard a lot about this book, and it's supposed to be very well written and fascinating. It's a shame it paints such a bleak picture, though--there is, of course, validity to the hardships the city has faced, but there is a ton of good that is going on in the city, too. Especially in the 2 years since the book was written. Both my bf and I have been meaning to check it out nevertheless!

FrankieG

ldent42 said:

FrankieG said:

The car ride has been near silence so far. I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind about 30 min out. The initial agreement of me driving both ways was exactly the reason for me not leaving. She did seem kinda hesitant to get out of the car before me at the rest stop ha

Yea you can't leave her stranded. Just ignore her and after you drop her off never speak to her again. Period. It's one thing to agree to go as a friend's date to a wedding, it's another thing to end up hooking up with some random dude at the wedding. It's disrespectful because it could be embarrassing for you, if this guy goes blabbing that he hooked up with some one else's date. It's ok to go as friends without expectations but there's no reason to act like that.

Yeah, I think this is the route I'm gonna take to start. I don't like holding grudges and am a really forgiving person, but my self-esteem and confidence are at an all time low right now. This weekend was the craziest emtion-swing that I have had in a while.. Wow.

On a side note, sorry for doing this to you all. I really don't like posting about my life's drama, but this one really hit hard...

RKCNDY

whispering hands said:

It is Exactly one week from both my 42nd birthday, as well as my 1st year sober birthday! I can't believe all the changes in my life in just one year! I also detest alcohol.. That's huge for me!! ( as I used to plan everything around my being able to consume it). I am happier now than I have been in years! And a lot of that has to do with the support I've found here, so thank you all!

Happy sober birthday!

SD48277

FrankieG said:

Yeah, I think this is the route I'm gonna take to start. I don't like holding grudges and am a really forgiving person, but my self-esteem and confidence are at an all time low right now. This weekend was the craziest emtion-swing that I have had in a while.. Wow.

On a side note, sorry for doing this to you all. I really don't like posting about my life's drama, but this one really hit hard...

No need to apologize, Frankie. You deserved better. If you need to vent, please feel free to pm me.

Nami

its a great place to vent Frankie G and everyone is here to give their two cents worth.

this shit will pass and know there are others out their for you.
cheers

deadendp

SD48277 said:

FrankieG said:

Yeah, I think this is the route I'm gonna take to start. I don't like holding grudges and am a really forgiving person, but my self-esteem and confidence are at an all time low right now. This weekend was the craziest emtion-swing that I have had in a while.. Wow.

On a side note, sorry for doing this to you all. I really don't like posting about my life's drama, but this one really hit hard...

No need to apologize, Frankie. You deserved better. If you need to vent, please feel free to pm me.

You can PM me, too.

I'm sorry. I had people do crap like that to me. I know that you are a nice guy and bless your heart for being so. My guess is that she knows what she did was crappy and that she should probably be thankful you didn't make her resort to some sort of public transport.