what's on your mind, right now?

wasa1971

My son. We are having a hard time. Raising a teenager is so exhausting, I would imagine being one is even more so. I know we will figure it out, but everything in our relationship is a constant battle.

gimmesometruth27

it's thowback thursday!! check out the young, sexy gimme back in the glory days!!

prism

i'm pretty sure every store in WA state (maybe all the PNW) is out of big bags of skittles...i checked a few stores before deciding to get a few small bags

Ms. Haiku

This weekend I was in an ambulance due to life-threatening blood loss. I fainted on my forehead and broke my glasses. There was a very short black-out time, but I was lucid and able to talk about the information the ambulance staff needed quickly after that.

At the hospital I was given three liters of blood and three bags of iron. The blood loss was due to my being on blood thinners. I was on them because I had a stroke in June. This isn't a "normal" stroke as the path was a direct result of the physical condition of my heart at that time. It was so large (my aorta merged with my sternum), and it had a hole. It was starting to lose functionality, however, it was 38 years since my last open heart surgery and that is saying a lot. It held it's own for a long time.

Oddly enough, a couple excellent pieces of information were revealed over the past couple days.

1. I'm off blood thinners. Yes! Doctors don't think I need it, and it hurts me. No more, no more, no more. Bad, blood thinners. Sho, fly, sho.
2. Even though I had open heart surgery in November, my heart is so strong as a result that it passed through this trial with flying colors. A couple doctors were very impressed. This is exciting! I was born with a heart disease and I haven't had to do any procedural follow up in 38 years. However, for me to finally hear that my heart is strong is something I thought I would never hear.

I'm back at my twin's house, and all is very cool. Yay!

ldent42

I'm home. And I'm not 100% sure how to feel about that.

Leezestarr313

Ms. Haiku said:

This weekend I was in an ambulance due to life-threatening blood loss. I fainted on my forehead and broke my glasses. There was a very short black-out time, but I was lucid and able to talk about the information the ambulance staff needed quickly after that.

At the hospital I was given three liters of blood and three bags of iron. The blood loss was due to my being on blood thinners. I was on them because I had a stroke in June. This isn't a "normal" stroke as the path was a direct result of the physical condition of my heart at that time. It was so large (my aorta merged with my sternum), and it had a hole. It was starting to lose functionality, however, it was 38 years since my last open heart surgery and that is saying a lot. It held it's own for a long time.

Oddly enough, a couple excellent pieces of information were revealed over the past couple days.

1. I'm off blood thinners. Yes! Doctors don't think I need it, and it hurts me. No more, no more, no more. Bad, blood thinners. Sho, fly, sho.
2. Even though I had open heart surgery in November, my heart is so strong as a result that it passed through this trial with flying colors. A couple doctors were very impressed. This is exciting! I was born with a heart disease and I haven't had to do any procedural follow up in 38 years. However, for me to finally hear that my heart is strong is something I thought I would never hear.

I'm back at my twin's house, and all is very cool. Yay!

Yay! Good to hear your heart is strong! The ambulance episode sounds scary though! You are such a trooper! Good vibes sent, keep on getting better

Ms. Haiku

Leezestarr313 said:

Yay! Good to hear your heart is strong! The ambulance episode sounds scary though! You are such a trooper! Good vibes sent, keep on getting better

Thank you, Leezestarr313!

Losiento

gimmesometruth27 said:

it's thowback thursday!! check out the young, sexy gimme back in the glory days!!

Glory Days. I hear old jocks never die they just have their cups rebuilt.

JonnyPistachio

Ms. Haiku said:

This weekend I was in an ambulance due to life-threatening blood loss. I fainted on my forehead and broke my glasses. There was a very short black-out time, but I was lucid and able to talk about the information the ambulance staff needed quickly after that.

At the hospital I was given three liters of blood and three bags of iron. The blood loss was due to my being on blood thinners. I was on them because I had a stroke in June. This isn't a "normal" stroke as the path was a direct result of the physical condition of my heart at that time. It was so large (my aorta merged with my sternum), and it had a hole. It was starting to lose functionality, however, it was 38 years since my last open heart surgery and that is saying a lot. It held it's own for a long time.

Oddly enough, a couple excellent pieces of information were revealed over the past couple days.

1. I'm off blood thinners. Yes! Doctors don't think I need it, and it hurts me. No more, no more, no more. Bad, blood thinners. Sho, fly, sho.
2. Even though I had open heart surgery in November, my heart is so strong as a result that it passed through this trial with flying colors. A couple doctors were very impressed. This is exciting! I was born with a heart disease and I haven't had to do any procedural follow up in 38 years. However, for me to finally hear that my heart is strong is something I thought I would never hear.

I'm back at my twin's house, and all is very cool. Yay!

Woah Ms. Haiku, sounds scary! I'm glad you're doing better!
My parents made me wear a football helmet for a long time when I first started walking. I had a few dozen stitches the first few months haha...not sure why I told you that, I'm not suggesting you wear a football helmet or anything, but superbowl sunday would be a good time to consider it

I kid... have a good weekend and stay safe!!

Ms. Haiku

JonnyPistachio said:

Woah Ms. Haiku, sounds scary! I'm glad you're doing better!
My parents made me wear a football helmet for a long time when I first started walking. I had a few dozen stitches the first few months haha...not sure why I told you that, I'm not suggesting you wear a football helmet or anything, but superbowl sunday would be a good time to consider it

I kid... have a good weekend and stay safe!!

You must have been a mover and a shaker toddler! My twin's family would support the helmet idea. I was at their house when I clunked over, and it was a loud clunk.

gimmesometruth27

Losiento said:

gimmesometruth27 said:

it's thowback thursday!! check out the young, sexy gimme back in the glory days!!

Glory Days. I hear old jocks never die they just have their cups rebuilt.

haha, i gave up sports after freshman year of college. tore up my shoulder. picked up a guitar, and now i don't ned a cup,

RKCNDY

Hope they will be selling beer at the show tonight...

lazloblue

Sleep would be good!

gimmesometruth27

found out a great friend of mine passed away in 2007. i had no idea until last night. we lost touch in 2001 and i have been trying to reach her since then. now i know why the letters and emails were not returned :(

here is a letter i just sent to her mom.

letter to Elaine Rapp's mother, 1/31/14



Dear Mrs. Rapp,

My name is Rodney Ford. You do not know me, and you probably never heard my name before now. I was a friend of Elaine during her time in Carbondale. I was there as a graduate student from the fall of 1998 until I graduated in May, 2000. I first met Elaine while I was working in the student rec center sports medicine office. She had had an extensive history of back problems and surgery, and I helped with her rehab. I had told her that her history was beyond my scope of knowledge, but I would try my best to help her. During the weeks that I treated her, we became fast friends. During that time, I met Elaine and got to know her pretty well. My group of friends became friends with her group of friends, and we hung out quite a bit during that time.

In my circle of friends, we had a friend named Elaine already, so we referred to your Elaine simply as "Rapp". I moved to St. Louis in May, 2000 and Elaine and I kept in touch via email for maybe a year after that. In mid 2001, I had found a pretty serious girlfriend, and I began to get busy moving forward with my life. I lost track of most of my graduate school friends. Most sadly, Elaine and I lost touch, and I was never able to contact her again after that. The email address I had no longer worked after awhile, and back then, nobody had cell phones or social media, so I had no way of reaching out to her to catch up and see how she was doing.

The purpose of me contacting you is twofold. I was looking through and old photo album last night and I found a poloroid of Elaine and I together in July 1999 at one of the bars where we hung out. Me finding that photo prompted me to start doing a little research to see if I could locate her and say hello. I had checked on Facebook and other social sites off and on for the last 5 years or so, and I never found her on any of those sites. Last night, I found that Elaine had passed away in 2007. I had no idea. I am completely shocked and saddened. I do not know what happened, whether she was sick, or whether it was sudden. The websites I saw did not specify. My first thought was of her family, especially her mother, that I had never met. I am reaching out tonight because I thought you might like to have that poloroid, which I scanned and will attach at the end of this message.

That picture was taken at a place called Pinch Penny, which was a bar that we all frequented. Back then, there was a guy at the bar with a poloroid camera and he would take photos of people and sell the photos for $5 each. That night, Elaine and I both bought 2 each. I remember that we both felt that we got gouged on the price of those photos, but looking back, the picture I sill have is worth much more than the $5 I spent on it. To me is is a priceless reminder of Elaine and the friendship that we shared. The one I am attaching is the only one I could find. I am not sure what happened to the other pictures we had taken together. Thinking about the loss of those photos makes me sad.

The other purpose of me reaching out is to express to you my deepest sympathy and most heartfelt condolences. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I wanted you to know that you may have lost her six years ago, but her passing is complete news to me tonight. I wanted you to know that even though she may be gone, she is still loved and she is not forgotten. I have not forgotten her, and I will not forget her. I can not tell you how many times since 2001 I have thought about her, wondered how she was doing, and hoped that she was living a happy life. I did not know where she was, but I hoped that she had gotten all of the things out of life that she had told me that she wanted.

Elaine was such an amazing person. I can not find the words to tell you how highly I thought of her. She was one of the nicest, sweetest, and beautiful people that I have ever met. Everyone loved her and thought that she was great. You must be very proud of the person that she became. I was proud to have known her for the brief time that I did. I still hear her voice and her laugh when I think about some of the times we hung out together. It takes a special person for someone to remember their voice when they have not heard it in 13 years.

I am sorry to have brought up any sad emotions with this letter. But I felt that reaching out to you was something that I had to do, just so that I can relay to her family how special she was to me. She was one of the closest friends I ever had, and I regret that her and I lost touch and that it was mostly my fault. That regret is something that I am going to have to work through. But reaching out to you has helped me in my time of grieving her loss these last two nights.

Things never worked out with me and that serious girlfriend in 2001. I would have traded that relationship for Elaine's friendship any day of the week. I only wish that I had done so when I had the chance all those years ago.

I hope this message finds you well and I pray that you will find comfort in the fact that Elaine had such a positive impact on so many people, and that she was beloved by everyone that knew her. I am so proud and so thankful to have had the chance to get to know her.

Please accept the poloroid, along with my condolences and my sympathies.

Sincerely,

Rodney

Annafalk

That was a really nice letter you wrote, Rodney, I'm sure it was appreciated.
It is so very sad when young people pass away, she look so healthy and sweet on the picture.

gimmesometruth27

Annafalk said:

That was a really nice letter you wrote, Rodney, I'm sure it was appreciated.
It is so very sad when young people pass away, she look so healthy and sweet on the picture.

thank you

i sent it to her facebook page along with the photo and as far as i can tell she has not received the message yet. i have been thinking about Rapp since the moment i found out 2 nights ago.

this letter to a complete stranger telling her how wonderful her daughter was was probably the most difficult letter i have ever composed. i tried so very hard to find the right words to convey exactly what i wanted to say. i was mentally drained by the time i hit "send".

this spring i am going to go visit her. she is buried only 110 miles from my house. i will give her flowers and i might even give her a letter that i have started writing to her. there is so much i have wanted to tell her these last 12 years, but somehow, now, i think she knows.

JWPearl

I came to the conclusion that i don't want a spoilt partner i prefer one who is royal but poor and deprived or even sufferered immensely than rich and pampered there's just a big difference for me as we would get on like a house on fire.

mikalina

Seriously - are most men idiots ( would like to use a different word but ... ) [-X

gimmesometruth27

most of us are....

:fp:

Ms. Haiku

I had an interview this morning. On the way to a cafe afterwards to celebrate I was mugged. He has my wallet, briefcase, interview shoes, and portfolio with resume and cover letters. The perpetrator threatened physical harm, but I screamed help as hard as I could and the asshole ran away. I was within feet of that cafe so I went there and asked the owner to call the police. Middle of the afternoon. Grrrrrrr! I just want a boring life. Is that hard?