Delusional

Thorns2010

Oh how I wish to succumb
To the thoughts raging in my mind
Of ones I can not quite place
But ones that I can not ignore
To make me a feared name
Or is it to make me revered?

Still, they sit just behind my comprehension
Of what it is to be me
Of what it is to be loved
Or feared
Whichever that will let me expose myself
For all the world to see
And taste what it is to be me

Since long before I could even recall
I knew something was different
Something was all wrong
With me
With me? Hahahaha
I’ll show you yet

Show you what it is to be me
And maybe then
Maybe then I’ll know it myself
What I want to be
Nay, not what I want to be
But what I am suppose to be

Is this what I should feel as I fall?
Fall and slip down a strange dark hole
Down to the bottom level
Where all I have is just me
But I’ve been there too many times before
This time it feels a little different

Just a little different
But that is how I’ve always been
Just a little strange
Just a little odd
Not fitting into any mold
And breaking down the confines of said mold

I am unique, this much I know
This much I tell myself
To keep myself from letting go
Of all I know, and all I feel
But mayhaps that is what I need to do
To become one with this thought
Speaking from beyond what my mind is
What I can comprehend

I don’t want to become a monster
Nor a man that is feared
Still though, I have a recurring thought
That I must give in to it all
To sacrifice all that I know
And then, and only then
Can I, will I, be free
Free to be who I am, and who I was meant to be

washburn647

This is an awesome poem! I really get a sense of what you are talking about, I can connect to it on many different levels... awesome job!