"Just Breathe" and my mom

asmacumber

I really need to get this out there, and I'm sorry if it bores you or if you don't care, but sometimes it is so much better to get things out into the universe than to hold it in.

I decided today that for my lunch break I was going to get in my car and just drive a bit and think. You see, for the past few months I've been trying to come to terms with the fact that my mom has breast cancer, and while she is getting treatment, the fact remains that it has already spread to a couple of bones and will more than likely end up being terminal. My mom is one of my best friends and has been for as long as I can remember, and I'm still reeling from this many months after the diagnosis.

So back to my story ... I was driving and listening to "Just Breathe" and I started crying. It is so tender and so honest and it really brought into focus how scared I am of losing her. I've gone my whole adult life knowing that the day would come that I would have to say goodbye, but now that it feels so close I realize how unprepared I am to do it. And add on top of this the fact that my mom is unable to work due to her condition and her husband, who is a truck driver, had his hours cut a few months ago due to the recession. They are flat broke and have been unable to pay their gas bill and have been without hot water for the past 2-3 months, and fall is coming and their house is drafty and it will be cold ... the last thing she needs is the get the flu or something on top of her cancer.

My brother and I have helped as much as we can (I just gave her $60 I don't have for groceries yesterday) but my hours at work have been cut recently and my brother was laid off. I have tried to get her help from the state but they won't do anything unless you are at or below the poverty line, which they are not. I feel so guilty that I can't do more for her ...

So anyway, driving and listening to "Just Breathe" it all hit me very hard and I cried. "Release" and "Indifference" have had me close, but this song is one of the most beautiful I have ever heard.

I just wanted to share that.

ML40467

You should know, or I guess I should share with you, that my mother has been fighting cancer for three years now. I can't claim to know what you are going through, or why it happens. But I can tell you that this is one of the main reasons why I turn to the power in music. Songs seem to take on a different and almost unique meaning. As if they they were written with our situation in mind. Some songs stand out more than others, same words with a new found perspective. Like a hidden secret. and to find them all you have to do is listen. If we're lucky enough to find them, we can draw strength, comfort, knowledge. I know about the call when I first found out about her cancer, the endless tests, from one doctor to the next. Always trying to be strong, but never easy. I keep turning back to music.

I don't think I've talked to anyone outside my family about this.

My mother always says something to me whenever times get tough, and so I thought I should share this with you,

"The best thing God made, is one new day after another"

I wish you all the best,

m.

dasvidana

As someone who has already lost a mother to cancer, I just wanted to recommend turning to the various cancer societies and foundations. They can provide some very needed support for patients and their families. Depending on how old your mother is, the United Way (if under 60) or the Area Agency on Aging (if 60 or older) can provide things like minor home repairs which may help as winter approaches. There should be a social worker working in conjunction with her oncologist who could help you get connected. Wishing you the very best.

Backspacer_Backer

don't give up hope - and i am sending positive vibes your way that somebody will be able to step up and provide some assistance. lost my dad to cancer - he never went to get treatment after he was diagnosed because he was a small biz owner and couldn't afford insurance except for us, his kids. i watched him die painfully over a few months - and so when i hear people protesting universal healthcare coverage for all citizens, it really pisses me off. we are supposedly living in one of the richest countries in the world. people should not have to suffer like your parents are right now (or you).

missisles

i wish you and your mum the best of health
im so saddened to read this

i watched my nana die of breast cancer when i was between 4-8 years of age
the medical world has changed alot since then
you just gotta stay strong and live for each moment

treasure everything that youve got
and remember... everyone needs a good cry every now and then
my thoughts with you

Fifthelement

((((HUGS)))) to all of you :(

You are all in my thoughts. Massive good vibes being sent in all directions



Let's just breathe . . .

Rygar

My mom just beat breast cancer (so it seems, and so I hope) but there was a time when we didn't know how bad things were and what was going to happen.
I hope things turn out much better than they look to be for your mom :(