How do you guys deal with stressful situations?

musicismylife78

I am thinking of giving my 2 weeks notice in a few days, but dont have a job lined up yet. I sort of need to move on from this job, I have had it for a year and a half, its my first one, and am getting that old restless situation. Given 1 week paid vacation, took it all the other week, and am going to the Pearl jam seattle shows, so I dont think they will give me the time off, which has sort of increased the need to move on and get a new job, i would most likely need 4 days off, 2 to drive up and back, and then 2 for the 2 shows. and with just having my vacation a few weeks back, I doubt 4 days off is gonna fly.

Talked about my intention to give the 2 weeks to coworkers and this has been talked about by coworkers, my coworkers know about my plan to leave.

But again, I have an apartment, I pay rent on, have a couple months worth of it saved up, but I think the trip to seattle is gonna eat up a huge chunk of it.

I sort of plan on giving my two weeks in a few days to allow me to go to the shows in seattle. But beyond that, what I should do I dont know.

How do you all deal with stressful situations and times in your life where you feel sort of back to a wall?

What would you all suggest?

I have applied to a few places but so far no dice.

justam

I'm conservative about decisions that affect my ability to take care of myself and my children. I would not leave one job until I had another one lined up or a substantial amount of money saved to give me time to find another job. You don't have a family to take care of but it sounds like you only have a few months of rent.

Do you have a back-up plan in case you can't find another job before you run out of money? If it's your first job, you are probably not terribly old so maybe you feel confident that you could get another job easily?
I think the younger you are the more risks you can take because you have a lot of years to bounce back.

JTH

So you haven't asked for the time off yet? Can't you just say you need the time off for personal reasons and see what happens? What's the worst that can happen? They could fire you, but if they do that, there's a chance you can collect unemployment.

musicismylife78

JTH wrote:

So you haven't asked for the time off yet? Can't you just say you need the time off for personal reasons and see what happens? What's the worst that can happen? They could fire you, but if they do that, there's a chance you can collect unemployment.

i havent asked for it off, because my job is only sort of calm and dead in august. Thus the reason why I was allowed vacation a few days ago.

I have no wife or kids and am a bachelor, so that makes some things easier, in that my decision isnt going to effect anyone but myself, but I just feel the need to do something else.

I have been working late shift hours, had weeks of 9 days straight, and 7 days sraight the past few weeks, and just dont feel the job anymore. Its time to move on.

But the issue remains, I havent even handed in the 2 weeks yet, and coworkers are already talking about it, and the shows in seattle loom.

musicismylife78

JTH wrote:

So you haven't asked for the time off yet? Can't you just say you need the time off for personal reasons and see what happens? What's the worst that can happen? They could fire you, but if they do that, there's a chance you can collect unemployment.

my boss has specifically talked about no vacations or time off, and this would be quite a few days off, 4, because my job sort of heats up and keeps getting busy all the way until january when it dies down.

In fact everyone in my department sort of took vacations this month. Its this month, and no other month.

musicismylife78

justam wrote:

I'm conservative about decisions that affect my ability to take care of myself and my children. I would not leave one job until I had another one lined up or a substantial amount of money saved to give me time to find another job. You don't have a family to take care of but it sounds like you only have a few months of rent.

Do you have a back-up plan in case you can't find another job before you run out of money? If it's your first job, you are probably not terribly old so maybe you feel confident that you could get another job easily?
I think the younger you are the more risks you can take because you have a lot of years to bounce back.

I am not confident at all I could get another job easily. I sort of started the whole job thing late in life, and yes I am young, in my twenties, but as I said this is my first job, and I had a hell of a time, even getting this one. I got offered this job after spending at least 6 months searching and searching, actually feeling pretty depressed about the fact I wasnt landing a single job. The lack of experience I think did me in. But now I have some experience.

That said, no, I have little confidence, all I know is, my gut is telling me to move on. But to what? And will this job hunt be another 6 months of "no's" and "thanks but our job positions are all filled up"?

justam

musicismylife78 wrote:

I am not confident at all I could get another job easily. I sort of started the whole job thing late in life, and yes I am young, in my twenties, but as I said this is my first job, and I had a hell of a time, even getting this one. I got offered this job after spending at least 6 months searching and searching, actually feeling pretty depressed about the fact I wasnt landing a single job. The lack of experience I think did me in. But now I have some experience.

That said, no, I have little confidence, all I know is, my gut is telling me to move on. But to what? And will this job hunt be another 6 months of "no's" and "thanks but our job positions are all filled up"?

I think you also have to consider the question that will come up in your next interviews: "Why did you leave your last job?"

Please don't tell them it was because of the PJ concerts. People who aren't in this club do NOT get a reason like that. :geek:

JaneNY

Even if this is a stressful situation, lack of money will make it more stressful. Try to get another job before you give up this one, and try to bargain for the specific time off that you need at your new job.

the wolf

think of this. its only a stessful situation because you made it one.

i'm not bashing, i do this to myself from time to time. you want the time off, you gotta ask for it.

its only stressful because YOU decided to take a vacation, then want more time off to see PJ.

would i do the same ? maybe.

with that said, dont look at it as a stressful situation, its just a decision. sounds like one you have made.

you take off, you could lose your job. sounds like you dont really like the job anyway.

still, no pay, no security. not sure PJ is worth that.

but still, it comes down to you are making this more stressful than need be.

you either dont go to the show and have a job, or you go and maybe dont have a job.

is a rock show ( even the best on earth ) worth that?

its your decision, the only stress involved is knowing that you maybe making the wrong one.


sorry, i'm usually not a dick like this. if i'm even being one. but ..you kinda brought this on yourself.

now make the choice, and hope its the right one.


again, sorry if i sound like a prick. going through a bit of a stressful situiation right now myself and to be honest would kinda just like to blow my head off.

so this seems sorta ..........not so stressful to me.

sounds like you already made you choice. now you just gotta live with it.


good luck.

SPEEDY MCCREADY

Quitting your job....
To go to a rock concert......
Is just fucking ridiculous.....IMO

Not having another job lined up.....

Is even more ridiculous........

Stress???

Stress is going to be 3 months from now when you dont have a dime in your pocket and you are evicted from your apartment......

Thats stress........

But then again you are in your 20's....
20 year olds are supposed to do silly things.....

bigeye21

I've been out of work since January after getting laid off and I can assure you that now is not the time to quit your job without any prospects lined up. It is hyper-competitive out there right now and having to explain the way in which you quit your last job isn't going to win you any favor. I'd tough it out until you find something else. Yeah, I know it's not ideal and not what you want to hear but that's life sometimes...

SPEEDY MCCREADY

bigeye21 wrote:

I've been out of work since January after getting laid off and I can assure you that now is not the time to quit your job without any prospects lined up. It is hyper-competitive out there right now and having to explain the way in which you quit your last job isn't going to win you any favor. I'd tough it out until you find something else. Yeah, I know it's not ideal and not what you want to hear but that's life sometimes...

What I dont understand....

Is the guy said he had a weeks vacation......and he used it last week???

Why not use the weeks vacation to go to Seattle, see your shows, and then go back to work?????

musicismylife78

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

bigeye21 wrote:

I've been out of work since January after getting laid off and I can assure you that now is not the time to quit your job without any prospects lined up. It is hyper-competitive out there right now and having to explain the way in which you quit your last job isn't going to win you any favor. I'd tough it out until you find something else. Yeah, I know it's not ideal and not what you want to hear but that's life sometimes...

What I dont understand....

Is the guy said he had a weeks vacation......and he used it last week???

Why not use the weeks vacation to go to Seattle, see your shows, and then go back to work?????

I had a family wedding. Obviously, I couldnt say to my relative, "hey I wont see you, I gotta go to a show instead" and i didnt want to. I had a blast at the wedding and it was great to see my relatives.

musicismylife78

SPEEDY MCCREADY wrote:

bigeye21 wrote:

I've been out of work since January after getting laid off and I can assure you that now is not the time to quit your job without any prospects lined up. It is hyper-competitive out there right now and having to explain the way in which you quit your last job isn't going to win you any favor. I'd tough it out until you find something else. Yeah, I know it's not ideal and not what you want to hear but that's life sometimes...

What I dont understand....

Is the guy said he had a weeks vacation......and he used it last week???

Why not use the weeks vacation to go to Seattle, see your shows, and then go back to work?????

I have also pointed out, my job is hectic most of the year, vacations are frowned upon and usually not granted post august. Thus why I specifically said a few posts back, everyone in my department took vacations in august, because thats the only time when we can take them. Taking one, in late September, as the holiday season is ramping up, is sort of out of the question.

August is the only dead month of the year in my work. The shows are in late september, and every day post august is sort of ramping up little by little to the holidays when things are really busy

musicismylife78

did any of you actually read my posts? It seemed like you all skimmed it at best. yes music is important to me, hence my name, and I take music over work anyday, but, I never said I was wanting out of this job because of the PJ shows.

Feeling trapped and overworked, feeling burntout, feeling like I need a change of pace and that everyday is the same and monotonous, feeling like I want to try something else, feeling restless, feeling like I am in my twenties and want to try my hand at some other trade etc...

Seems like pretty valid reasoning in my view.

But I guess thats just me. I love to hear your views on this dilemma. Thus why I posted it on the board and my thread title is a question aimed at you all. But I dont really and cant really discuss issues with others if they accuse me of saying stuff I never said. Its like talking to a brick wall. How can I respond to something I never uttered?

I feel ultimately tied down, I feel as if this job and my bosses are acting like this is my life, literally for the rest of my life. As I said, I feel trapped and smothered.

Are these not legitimate feelings? Add the fact this is literally my first job ever. So having had this job for a year and a half, naturally I think, i am gonna start to wonder "whats out there and what am I missing etc.."

South of Seattle

musicismylife78 wrote:

JTH wrote:

So you haven't asked for the time off yet? Can't you just say you need the time off for personal reasons and see what happens? What's the worst that can happen? They could fire you, but if they do that, there's a chance you can collect unemployment.

my boss has specifically talked about no vacations or time off, and this would be quite a few days off, 4, because my job sort of heats up and keeps getting busy all the way until january when it dies down.

In fact everyone in my department sort of took vacations this month. Its this month, and no other month.

Maybe you can't take time off, but you can sure fake the H1N1 right now

musicismylife78

good point

musicismylife78

i think its also weighing on me because i have wanted to move on from this job for awhile now. I see the PJ shows almost like a push for me to move on. In many ways giving my two weeks in a few days, and then having my last day be the day before the shows, it would be like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders at those shows.

I also think of how many other people say "oh I'll move on to another job, in a few months" and how many of those folks stay at their jobs year after year. Perpetually stuck. Hoping that that dream job is just around the corner. I have felt like that, and still feel like that. But what if life is what you make it? Do I want to be stuck at this job, or do I want to do something else that makes my heart sing? Thats what I feel like. And it seems like these shows are many way a jumping off point for not being that person that I hate anymore.

I guess its a bet or a wager in many ways. Will I be happier without this job, but without a job to fall back on? Will I be able to find another job in enough time before I run out of rent money? On the flip side, if I stay, is the security of having an apartment worth it? Is that worth working at a job i am not cut out for? Is it worth everything I listed in previous threads of how I feel physically and mentally?

That other poster was right, it is a question indeed. Is having a job and disliking it, worth the pain it causesm knowing you can afford an apartment with the money you earn from it?

bigeye21

musicismylife78 wrote:

I feel ultimately tied down, I feel as if this job and my bosses are acting like this is my life, literally for the rest of my life. As I said, I feel trapped and smothered.

Are these not legitimate feelings? Add the fact this is literally my first job ever. So having had this job for a year and a half, naturally I think, i am gonna start to wonder "whats out there and what am I missing etc.."

These are totally valid points and feelings I can completely empathize with. My point earlier and now was that in the pursuit of a new job, don't screw yourself in the process by quitting your existing job before you have something else lined up. It's a crappy job market right now and jobs aren't plentiful. I'm highly employable and haven't found bupkiss in 7 months after being laid off. You still have bills to pay. I've been in similar situations and stayed put, went through the motions, pursued something better and more to my liking, and ultimately left on my terms without screwing myself in the process. If you are compelled to quit with no prospects in the crappiest economy since the Great Depression, more power to you. You solicited opinions here and you got 'em. Mine comes from a very real and earnest perspective. Take from it what you will. Good luck.

Dissidentman

Have you looked at postings on Monster/Dice/Craigslist to see if your new skills are in demand? I don't think you should stay at a job that makes you unhappy, but you should definately start the interview process while still working. Then you hold all the cards. You don't have to worry about rent while you work on finding your "perfect" job. Plus - "I'm not inspired by my current job" sounds better to a hiring manager than "I just quit cause I didn't want to do it anymore"

Good luck with whatever you choose.

polaris_x

my two cents ...

1. what you feel at your job is what most people feel - most people either concede that is their lot in life or do as some others and try to get themselves out ... point being is that you are by no means in any kind of minority in your feelings.

2. it takes real courage to stand by your convictions and accept the consequences of your decision - if quitting is what you want to do and you are prepared to deal with the results ... then all the power to you ... some people are conservative and will have a fall back plan (move back home; borrow money; etc) if things go pear shape ... some are less conservative and wing things ... really - this is where personal growth and understanding of oneself comes in handy ... are you the type of person who makes rash decisions and then regrets it later? ... understanding yoruself helps in making your decisions ..

3. stress is all relative - one person's stress would be nothing to another ... so, my advice to you in dealing with the stress is to first identify what it is exactly that is stressing you out (is it the job or is it the decision of quitting or something else?) ... only then can you make steps to trying to see if you can change the situation so you don't feel it as much ...

4. lastly - you are in your 20's ... YOU WILL make mistakes and screw up - that is what life is all about ... the only person you have to answer to is yourself ... do good by you and the person you want to be and follow in the footsteps of no one ...

SPEEDY MCCREADY

musicismylife78 wrote:

did any of you actually read my posts? It seemed like you all skimmed it at best. yes music is important to me, hence my name, and I take music over work anyday, but, I never said I was wanting out of this job because of the PJ shows.

I read your posts....

I also read where you said....

"I sort of plan on giving my two weeks in a few days to allow me to go to the shows in Seattle"

SPEEDY MCCREADY

Here is a little advice......

When you give your 2 weeks notice.....

Be prepared for the boss to give you the "2 minute" notice....


In other words the conversation will probably go like this....

" I am giving you my 2 weeks notice".

He will respond with....

"Ok, why dont you take 2 minutes to clear out your desk, leave now, and I will put your last paycheck in the mail".

Dissidentman

SPEEDY, have you had such a conversation?

mfc2006

no matter how stressful your job is, i would suggest that you stick it out until you find something else. sure, you have $ saved...but it sounds like you plan on spending some at the shows in Seattle. after that, what's left? can you cut your "show budget" to compensate for the loss of income? if not, then stay put and start looking for a new gig. once you have something solid lined up, then put in your 2 weeks notice. the job search sucks out there. i've been looking for awhile now since i was laid off. it is NOT easy out there. be thankful that you have a job that pays the bills at all. if it were me, i'd suck it up and start looking...then make the change. good luck.

know1

polaris_x wrote:

my two cents ...

1. what you feel at your job is what most people feel - most people either concede that is their lot in life or do as some others and try to get themselves out ... point being is that you are by no means in any kind of minority in your feelings.

2. it takes real courage to stand by your convictions and accept the consequences of your decision - if quitting is what you want to do and you are prepared to deal with the results ... then all the power to you ... some people are conservative and will have a fall back plan (move back home; borrow money; etc) if things go pear shape ... some are less conservative and wing things ... really - this is where personal growth and understanding of oneself comes in handy ... are you the type of person who makes rash decisions and then regrets it later? ... understanding yoruself helps in making your decisions ..

3. stress is all relative - one person's stress would be nothing to another ... so, my advice to you in dealing with the stress is to first identify what it is exactly that is stressing you out (is it the job or is it the decision of quitting or something else?) ... only then can you make steps to trying to see if you can change the situation so you don't feel it as much ...

4. lastly - you are in your 20's ... YOU WILL make mistakes and screw up - that is what life is all about ... the only person you have to answer to is yourself ... do good by you and the person you want to be and follow in the footsteps of no one ...

Great post. I agree on all counts. I'm of the opinion that close to 100% of all stress is self-imposed and can be avoided by changing your own internal reactions to situations.

Horos

I've been looking in the same area for two months. I have 3+ years management experience and still can find nothing comparable to the crappy job I'm tired of. I agree with Speedy's 2 minute notice I know that is how I would be treated. If you do quit PM me with your workplace maybe I could move on to there.

81

never quit a job unless you have a job lined up

don't tell co workers you are thinking about leaving. rumors can make your life miserable.

job > PJ shows.

you can always listen to the boots of the shows

Ms. Haiku

It sounds like the stress is self-induced - enjoy the fact that you truly have endless possibilities ahead of you, and great concerts in the works . . .

Also, send out those resumes. Get the juices flowing think Pearl Jam and then think New Job think Pearl Jam and then think New Job. Do it Do it Do it! Good luck (I suggest that a new job be considered a higher priority than Pearl Jam so spend more time looking at job sites than coming here.) However, a Pearl Jam concert IS something to LOOK FOWARD TO! No one on this board will contest that statement, eh?

If you want a new job get those groovy tunes on, and start searching the web. As others on this thread have responded - the job market is not a pretty sight. However, what is inspriring is that people have found jobs! I've been looking at want ads, but I haven't quit my job. It's stagnant over here, and I think I'm worth more.

Good luck with the job search, and have fun at PJ concerts!