Thank You PJ and all 10Cers for making Come Back true.(LONG)

I am proof that this band listens to their fans and no song dedication campaign is too big or small for them not to see it.

I just made it back to my home in Fort Wayne, Indiana. What an absolutely epic, surreal, entertaining, bittersweet journey to Chicago. I have to detail it so I always have it in writing.

Of course, most probably know about my wife passing away back on May 6th. I am a pretty emotionally strong guy, but that broke me down. Nothing in life prepares you for that and the only thing harder than losing a spouse has to be losing a child. It took five days to turn a TV on after she died. I didn't answer my phone for even longer. I am always on top of my job, but I didn't even care if I ever went in to work again. Nothing in my life mattered anymore. All I wanted was to speak to my wife one more time. Get that chance to tell her goodbye. I turned to music. Certain songs just totally changed meaning to me. I have seen/heard people tell me Pearl Jam just speaks to them. I used to roll my eyes and think "Eddie wrote it in his mind, how can it now be YOUR song?"

I now see why. When something emotionally overcomes you, something so big there is nothing in writing on how to deal with it, you have to battle it head-on on your own. Pearl Jam helped me deal with it.

I used to tell my wife that Pearl Jam is only one of the few things I loved way before I met her that I loved still to this day. How many people my age can say they loved something or someone authentically for 2/3 of their life? Pearl Jam is what got me into music, and they are still my band to this day. I got her into the band as well. But the songs that spoke to her weren't the ones that were speaking to me. From day one "Release" was her song. She fell in love with Eddie's voice. She loved "Off He Goes" and "Thumbing My Way" for a long time. When she heard "Come Back" she thought it was the most emotional song the band wrote. She said it could be about anyone who lost a loved one. How right she was.

So after Eddie dedicated that song to my wife and I (even with saying "Andy" instead of "Adam," which is no big deal to me), this band officially became to me "Before and After Sarah PJ." Before Sarah died, PJ songs just sounded awesome to me, after she died, some speak to me in a different way, some have a whole new meaning, and some will always be the ones that got me through the grieving process of losing my best friend. This band will never do wrong in my eyes from this moment on. They genuinely care for their fans. What I asked for would have been easy. Just play Come Back is all I wanted. Just a simple add to the setlist. What they did was not only play the song, but also shared the story of my wife, said her name, said we lost one of the good ones...all of that at one of the biggest/most-anticipated concert of their careers. SERIOUSLY? Think about that.

When I won the lottery to get seats at Wrigley. My wife and I planned our trip to Chicago around the concert. We booked a hotel from Tuesday-Saturday. We were going to enjoy Chicago and make the show the last thing we did before heading home. She loved the city and we made it a mini vacation. And even when she got sick a few months before she died, it was still the highlight of our summer break (I teach high school) and what we kept on anticipating over anything else.

After she died, my whole summer changed. I wanted to fulfill her final wishes (ash spreading in the Atlantic Ocean and Yellowstone National Park) sooner rather than putting it off for a year. This summer officially became the Summer Of Sarah for me. I would do everything for her and with her memory on my mind. That is why I made the request for them to play the song. Because even if they didn't, I would hope for it and Sarah's memory would always be on my mind.

I did my Florida and Colorado/Wyoming/South Dakota trips from June 10th-22nd (Sarah's bday was June 22). I got to see parts of our country she loved the most all the while making peace with her being gone forever. Of course, PJ was a long for the ride too!

I asked my best friend from Cleveland to join me to Chicago, which he accepted. We went up on Thursday and met two of my other friends and lot of fans at Sluggers. Got to hear some of the soundcheck. But we focused on just having a blast that night. I hadn't really had a night like that since my wife passed away. It was great to be surrounded by friends, and of course, Pearl Jam music and Pearl Jam fans.

Friday was nuts. I stood in line for four hours to make sure I got a couple posters. I figured if they played the song, this will be a show like no other and I better get some mementos to have forever. We all hit up another pre-PJ party at Mullen's prior to the show and the next thing I knew we were heading over to Wrigley around 6:30.

Once at my seats (Section 109 row 2) I began meeting a ton of other fans. Guys from Philly, some locals, a guy from Cleveland, a few from Colorado. WOW! This show was such a huge show, bigger than even I thought. I began thinking, there is no way PJ will play this song for me, this is no ordinary show. They have bigger things on their mind than worrying about one fan.

Boy, was I wrong.

I never thought Come Back would be on the setlist so soon. When Eddie was talking and eventually went in to "this next song" speech, my buddy grabbed me and said "this is it." I said, "no way, not this soon." Sure enough he said it all. All of my emotions came rushing back to me. I thought "my god, Sarah is still finding ways of making me happy." But then I went numb. I am not a dancer but I am in to every song, singing a long, maybe a little air guitar or head bopping. But for Come Back, I just stood still looking to the sky. My buddy was hugging me, but I couldn't shake this feeling. Even the people around me were asking if I was ok. I didn't full out breakdown, but I definitely had tears running down by the end of the song. The guy next to me grabbed me and said something I couldn't recall and all I told him was "that song, that was for me and my wife who died in May." He didn't believe me at first, but I told him again. He said "are you serious?" Told him I was, then he got emotional and hugged me. A couple behind me overheard us and during the delay a song later he told me about his wife's brother who passed away from health issues at the age of 34. He told me how much PJ helped that man (who was waiting for a heart transplant) cope with everything. And of course how PJ helped them as well.

Of course, every single person said "no other band would do that for their random fans." And "that's what makes Pearl Jam the best band ever."

I don't disagree.

They are for me and will be forever. I will never get that chance to talk to my wife again, but because of Eddie Vedder, Stone Gossard, Mike McCready, Jeff Ament, and Matt Cameron, Sarah will live on forever in a bigger way than she could have ever imagined.

Thank you to all who kept that thread going to make this come true. It was a magical moment for me and only happened because of you and the world's greatest rock band.

I have met a few people through here. All are cooler than hell. I have private messaged a ton more. All are great people. This band should be so proud of their fans.

By the way, the band stayed at The Four Season's on the Mag Mile. I stayed in the Whitehall across the street. When I left Saturday (to drive to the burbs and stay with family), Boom is just chilling in front of the hotel like it's nothing. A few fans were talking to him and he was cool as hell. I did the "Booooooom" from my car and he smiled and waved. Just thought that was cool and worthy of a mention here.