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I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star

edlax20edlax20 Posts: 15
edited January 2008 in The Porch
Hi Everyone,

I'm not in a good place right now. My finance and I just broke off our engagement. We had some problems and I guess I wasn't worth fighting for. Here's the thing, on my ipod I have about 37 different live versions of black and that's all I have been listening 2. I try to listen to other Jam songs, but I keep going back to black. I'am a mess right now, hope this pain goes away sometime soon. If you have a special someone right now, hug them, tell them you love them and try your best always to make it work.
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    sweet adelinesweet adeline Posts: 2,211
    sorry to hear that dude. try not to think about it too much. find solice in friends right now.

    peace.
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    harmless_little_f***harmless_little_f*** Posts: 8,005
    I know exactly how you feel.... total emotional rollercoaster.... mood swings.... up, down, up, down.... Don't lose heart. Ride it out. It will end, they say.
    'We're learning songs for baby Jesus' birthday. His mum and dad were Merry and Joseph. He had a bed made of clay and the three kings bought him Gold, Frankenstein and Merv as presents.'

    - the great Sir Leo Harrison
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    DopeyBoyDopeyBoy Posts: 170
    Sucks dude! I totally understand...my wife and I separated about 3 months ago now, like a week before my 30th birthday! I was pretty rough for the first 2 months, but this past month has been better...even with the crazy holidays and everything. Today I think I can actually say that I'm kinda happy...definately not really happy, but I sense a little happiness in there somewhere!
    Anyway, what has worked for me has been keeping myself surrounded by friends...I know alot of people get all depressed and shut themselves off from the rest of the world, which would normally be my style too...but this keeping myself busy thing seems to be really working! I moved into my new bachelor pad just over 3 weeks ago now and have had 1 night home alone so far (I think buying a new plasma TV helped too, cause now everyone wants to come over to watch!). I've also taken up playing hockey, which keeps me busy a couple nights a week, and I'm planning a 4 week trip to Europe in May. So yeah, keeping busy and keeping your mind occupied seems to work. Oh, and I started seeing a social worker like right away...having someone to talk to who is detached from the whole situation seems to help too.
    Well, if there's anything I've learned these past few weeks is that there are TONNES of others like us out there...and many many who have it worse off. Not that that should dimish our pain, but at least know that you're not alone...even if you're feeling lonely.

    Anyway, sorry for the ramblings...I hope things work out for you. If you remain positive, it will get better. Oh, and stop listening to all that depressing stuff...play something a little less sad. How about some Dirty Frank...I've heard he's a bad mother...

    Peace
    :-p
    "Six million dollars we turned down, to prevent our song to be sung by a cock" E.V. - San Diego, June 5, 2003
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    patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    harmless_little_f*** wrote:
    I know exactly how you feel.... total emotional rollercoaster.... mood swings.... up, down, up, down.... Don't lose heart. Ride it out. It will end, they say.


    I hate that rollercoaster. LOL
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    vital5vital5 Posts: 5,486
    patrickredeyes wrote:
    I hate that rollercoaster. LOL
    It's a ride you never wanna go on, but just remember it does end :) It might take time, but you eventually move on to better things :) Everything happens for a reason...

    It won't happen overnight but it will happen... haha we were just talking about an advert here in Aus that used to use that... can anyone help me out.. i think it was Special K :)

    One of my relationships was doomed, we used to mention the rollercoaster feeelings... ups n downs , the uncertainty.... argh... I think she got off it though and left me riding ;)
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    patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    vital5 wrote:
    Everything happens for a reason...



    It sure does.
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    anothercloneanotherclone Posts: 1,688
    Break ups suck. Every day you get further away from today, will feel a little bit better to you.

    and try to wean yourself off of 'Black'. Its kind of a downer. ;)
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    CanadianEHCanadianEH Posts: 134
    That's awful. I feel your pain. I got dumped out of the blue on Thursday. No good reason, no way to see it coming. I had a suspicion when she asked if we could go for coffee. The whole time we dated we never "went for coffee". The clincher was on the way over to pick her up Black came on the radio. This is a rare song for this station. It was weird because it cut in right when the lyrics start (no intro) and the song ended exactly when I pulled into her place. Finally, when I walked in and saw all my stuff organized on the counter, I knew I was in trouble. I came home and made a mix CD of all Pearl Jam slow songs and listened to it for the next two days straight. Crazy how music can help us cope in times of need. Hang in there, you've got friends to help you get through this, even if it's just a pair of headphones.
    Vancouver 07/19/98 Vancouver 05/30/03
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    Boise 11/03/00 Gorge 1 07/22/06
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    Seattle 2 11/06/00 Vancouver 09/25/09
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    LedbetterusLedbetterus Posts: 592
    It's always hard at first. Keep listening to music. Pearl Jam has helped me through a lot :D
    Abraham Lincoln once said, "If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North."
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    patrickredeyespatrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    It depends on the person on how long it takes. But it does get better. This time of the year is great. New year and new start for things. Let the past be the past is what I say. :)
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    Rapunzel64Rapunzel64 Posts: 129
    Listening to Black may actually help you to work your way through this. We have to grieve in order to move on. Pearl Jam music will help you through it.

    Wishing you good things ahead.
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    Ms. HaikuMs. Haiku Washington DC Posts: 7,250
    edlax20 wrote:
    Hi Everyone,

    I'm not in a good place right now. My finance and I just broke off our engagement. We had some problems and I guess I wasn't worth fighting for. Here's the thing, on my ipod I have about 37 different live versions of black and that's all I have been listening 2. I try to listen to other Jam songs, but I keep going back to black. I'am a mess right now, hope this pain goes away sometime soon. If you have a special someone right now, hug them, tell them you love them and try your best always to make it work.
    Delete all 37 songs, and quickly find 37 versions of Barry Manilow's Coba Cabana. It will distract you to the point of insanity, and you'll go back to Black with joy . . . like a security blanket.

    Sorry to hear about your relationship.

    What you may find is the true reason you need 37 versions of Black instead of one, eh?
    There is no such thing as leftover pizza. There is now pizza and later pizza. - anonymous
    The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math - The Mincing Mockingbird
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    adicksonadickson Posts: 5
    I'm really sorry to hear that. I, just a year ago went through a very painful, traumatic breakup. The girl being the one i thought was right for me. If it's any help, I got through this, and as one who has been diagnosed with major depression, it is possible to get through this as a better person. It took me a while, it may take you months, years, days, but the truth is that you will get through it. I did and I hope i provide some persistence. I''m sending out good vibes and love to you as a PJ fan.
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    edlax20edlax20 Posts: 15
    Thank you all for you honest and heart warming replies. I know in time it will get easier.
    "I'll ride the wave where it takes me"
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    IgottagoIgottago Posts: 483
    That's too bad. I went through a tough breakup in October and I still have days where it really hurts. Combined with work problems, I starting going into an intense depression. Still, despite my other problems, its the lost love that hurts more than anything. Its getting better slowly. As has been said, take comfort in your friends, get out and do some new things, live your life. You'll be back better than ever eventually. I'm sure I will be too.
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