Please finish my eulogy for my Dad in Pittsburgh.

Light of Stars · May 15

I don't post here much, and really, really thought a lot about whether to do so. Especially since there are a lot of other posts like this now. But....well, when you read the story, you'll see why I did.

My Dad died 13 years ago. The last time I saw him alive was in 2011, when he drove me to the Pittsburgh Airport and put me on a plane to - somewhat spontaneously - move to Seattle.

When people find out that I am as big a Pearl Jam fan as I am, and that I moved to/lived in Seattle, they think those two things are related. But if I had wanted to move to Seattle because of PJ, I would have done so in 1994 for college. Or in 1998 when I graduated and was looking for a first job. Or any of the other times I decided to move somewhere. Seattle was the 6th city I moved to as an adult. I tell you this because it was the only time that my Dad asked me multiple times *why*. Why I was moving to Seattle. Why I was moving so far away. I had previously lived in Ireland, a whole different country/continent and ocean away, and even then he didn't want me to not go as much as when I moved to Seattle.

I wonder if somehow he felt it was going to be the last time he'd see me.

Like I somewhat unconsciously had been feeling that he was not going to be here much longer and so I needed to have a strong life around me to hold me when that happened.

In Seattle, I of course went to a lot of shows. 24 hours after I landed, I was at a show Mike was playing at The Crocodile. Not too much longer after I arrived, I met and started to get to know Chris and Rick Friel and Chris's wife, Kim, by going to all the shows they play with their bands and projects. And on Record Store Day 2012 I met Justin Davis when he did an in-store performance with Star Anna. And Rock Tim, and Danny Newcomb, and Gary Westlake and on and on.

I didn't move to Seattle *for* Pearl Jam, but 6 degrees of PJ has led me to meet all these people, who are now, quite literally, a home for this girl who needed one again. Justin is one of my closest friends and like an older brother I didn't know I needed. And Chris and Kim and Rick have welcomed me into their family and holidays so lovingly. And they all have supported and encouraged me with everything I've been doing.

But all that happened *after* -

After my Dad hugged me a last time.
After he had a massive stroke.
After I flew back from Seattle to Pittsburgh to say goodbye to him though he wasn't conscious of it.
After I gave his eulogy....

After I gave his eulogy, a song was supposed to be played through the sound system, one that in a flash of 3am inspiration I knew could say everything I was trying to so much better.

But when we arrived at the church that morning, the funeral director told me something was wrong and my cd would not play.

Obviously, my Dad was not going to have me playing rock music in the church where he went to mass every week, where I had my first communion, etc etc. Absolutely not, Kell.

So, now, 13 years later, when I am back in Pittsburgh for the first time in almost that many years, and will be visiting the cemetery where he asked me to make sure he was with his Dad when the time came - I thought I'd ask for my original inspired tribute to be fulfilled and for the band that literally gave me a family - a home - again to play it for me....for him. Maybe for all of us, given the date of Night 2.

Dear Pearl Jam,

Please play Man of The Hour for my Dad.

Thank you and love from -

McMahon's Daughter