what's on your mind, right now?

dankind said:

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was listening to Queen earlier and thought of my dad.  He loved music, especially classical and opera.  Many Saturday mornings of my childhood found me watching in awe as he pretend-conducted orchestras while completely lost in a piece.  Volume all the way up!

I remember in the late 70s/early 80s, sitting with him and my sister on her bedroom floor, headphones on my dad, and playing Night at the Opera for him.  He was floored - by the composition, the variety of music, the layers, that VOICE, all of it.  We did the same with Led Zep IV and Houses of the Holy.  And the Martin-produced era of the Beatles.

It was so cool to introduce him to "our" music as he did with his.  It is now part of me

This is amazing.  I started composing the post above you last night, but left it in draft because I was too tired to finish it.  I hadn’t read what you wrote about your dad loving music until just now.  So funny that we both wrote about the same thing.😳👍🙏

I couldn’t even speak at my dad’s funeral. I envy your ability to keep it together for that. Sounds like it was beautiful and bittersweet. 

And yes, what they passed on to us, stays. We are our fathers daughters

Man, my daughter barely speaks to me.

I must be doing something wrong.

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

Fifthelement said:

hedonist said:

I was listening to Queen earlier and thought of my dad.  He loved music, especially classical and opera.  Many Saturday mornings of my childhood found me watching in awe as he pretend-conducted orchestras while completely lost in a piece.  Volume all the way up!

I remember in the late 70s/early 80s, sitting with him and my sister on her bedroom floor, headphones on my dad, and playing Night at the Opera for him.  He was floored - by the composition, the variety of music, the layers, that VOICE, all of it.  We did the same with Led Zep IV and Houses of the Holy.  And the Martin-produced era of the Beatles.

It was so cool to introduce him to "our" music as he did with his.  It is now part of me

This is amazing.  I started composing the post above you last night, but left it in draft because I was too tired to finish it.  I hadn’t read what you wrote about your dad loving music until just now.  So funny that we both wrote about the same thing.😳👍🙏

I couldn’t even speak at my dad’s funeral. I envy your ability to keep it together for that. Sounds like it was beautiful and bittersweet. 

And yes, what they passed on to us, stays. We are our fathers daughters

Man, my daughter barely speaks to me.

I must be doing something wrong.

Oh hush. She’s much like her dad...for better or worse

I don't know. I checked on her earlier, and it looked like she was struggling with her math lesson to the point at which she was about to cry.

So I asked her if she'd like some help.

Her answer: "Just stop talking."

Sometimes, I wish you could still slap the ever-loving shit out of them.

"Bust their heads until the white meat shows!"

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

Ummm...she replied with ”just stop talking”? I stand by my statement!

I would never say that to anyone, let alone a parent -- that is, unless the person were embarrassing himself/herself and I'm trying to prevent them from digging a deeper hole.

Her mom, a rude New Englander (is there any other kind?), says shit like that all the time, though.

Don't think I've ever said that either, actually.  I have thought "please, just shut the fuck up!" though.

Yeah, the relationship evolves, just as your girl.  Not always easy.

Your other thread got me thinking a lot about my own relationship with my father - the good and the bad (thankfully, never ugly).

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

Ummm...she replied with ”just stop talking”? I stand by my statement!

I would never say that to anyone, let alone a parent -- that is, unless the person were embarrassing himself/herself and I'm trying to prevent them from digging a deeper hole.

Her mom, a rude New Englander (is there any other kind?), says shit like that all the time, though.

Don't think I've ever said that either, actually.  I have thought "please, just shut the fuck up!" though.

Yeah, the relationship evolves, just as your girl.  Not always easy.

Your other thread got me thinking a lot about my own relationship with my father - the good and the bad (thankfully, never ugly).

I grew up without a father (not much of a mother either), so I’ve been doing my best to learn on the job. 

So far, I’ve made it 10 years longer than I thought I would. 

I got my first grey hair when my wife told me she was pregnant with our daughter, and I gave our marriage/family six months tops before I figured I’d be asked to pack it up.

I’m not a parent, but based on what I know of them (and you), I’d say you’re doing just fine. 

Even those with “ideal” childhoods still struggle with their own parenting, I believe. 

HughFreakingDillon said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

Ummm...she replied with ”just stop talking”? I stand by my statement!

I would never say that to anyone, let alone a parent -- that is, unless the person were embarrassing himself/herself and I'm trying to prevent them from digging a deeper hole.

Her mom, a rude New Englander (is there any other kind?), says shit like that all the time, though.

Don't think I've ever said that either, actually.  I have thought "please, just shut the fuck up!" though.

Yeah, the relationship evolves, just as your girl.  Not always easy.

Your other thread got me thinking a lot about my own relationship with my father - the good and the bad (thankfully, never ugly).

I grew up without a father (not much of a mother either), so I’ve been doing my best to learn on the job. 

So far, I’ve made it 10 years longer than I thought I would. 

I got my first grey hair when my wife told me she was pregnant with our daughter, and I gave our marriage/family six months tops before I figured I’d be asked to pack it up.

I’m not a parent, but based on what I know of them (and you), I’d say you’re doing just fine. 

Even those with “ideal” childhoods still struggle with their own parenting, I believe. 

I may be doing fine, but I can't wait to be done.

I never wanted to be responsible for anyone but myself, and even that's incredibly difficult.

As soon as they turn 18, I imagine it will feel like a giant burden has been taken off my back. 

doubt it. you never stop worrying about your kids.8 or 18 or 68. 

dankind said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

Ummm...she replied with ”just stop talking”? I stand by my statement!

I would never say that to anyone, let alone a parent -- that is, unless the person were embarrassing himself/herself and I'm trying to prevent them from digging a deeper hole.

Her mom, a rude New Englander (is there any other kind?), says shit like that all the time, though.

Don't think I've ever said that either, actually.  I have thought "please, just shut the fuck up!" though.

Yeah, the relationship evolves, just as your girl.  Not always easy.

Your other thread got me thinking a lot about my own relationship with my father - the good and the bad (thankfully, never ugly).

I grew up without a father (not much of a mother either), so I’ve been doing my best to learn on the job. 

So far, I’ve made it 10 years longer than I thought I would. 

I got my first grey hair when my wife told me she was pregnant with our daughter, and I gave our marriage/family six months tops before I figured I’d be asked to pack it up.

I’m not a parent, but based on what I know of them (and you), I’d say you’re doing just fine. 

Even those with “ideal” childhoods still struggle with their own parenting, I believe. 

I may be doing fine, but I can't wait to be done.

I never wanted to be responsible for anyone but myself, and even that's incredibly difficult.

As soon as they turn 18, I imagine it will feel like a giant burden has been taken off my back. 

doubt it. you never stop worrying about your kids.8 or 18 or 68. 

That may be true for most people, but my emotional makeup is more than somewhat different than most people's.

Their mom will probably try to keep them close forever; but the entire family knows that I'm splitting town the moment the boy graduates high school. And, of course, they are welcome to visit anytime.

I remind them of this every once in a while so that it's not a shock when I start packing my things when the time comes.

dankind said:

Fifthelement said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

Ummm...she replied with ”just stop talking”? I stand by my statement!

I would never say that to anyone, let alone a parent -- that is, unless the person were embarrassing himself/herself and I'm trying to prevent them from digging a deeper hole.

Her mom, a rude New Englander (is there any other kind?), says shit like that all the time, though.

Don't think I've ever said that either, actually.  I have thought "please, just shut the fuck up!" though.

Yeah, the relationship evolves, just as your girl.  Not always easy.

Your other thread got me thinking a lot about my own relationship with my father - the good and the bad (thankfully, never ugly).

I grew up without a father (not much of a mother either), so I’ve been doing my best to learn on the job. 

So far, I’ve made it 10 years longer than I thought I would. 

I got my first grey hair when my wife told me she was pregnant with our daughter, and I gave our marriage/family six months tops before I figured I’d be asked to pack it up.

I’m not a parent, but based on what I know of them (and you), I’d say you’re doing just fine. 

Even those with “ideal” childhoods still struggle with their own parenting, I believe. 

I may be doing fine, but I can't wait to be done.

I never wanted to be responsible for anyone but myself, and even that's incredibly difficult.

As soon as they turn 18, I imagine it will feel like a giant burden has been taken off my back. 

All during our teens my dad would joke that for our 18th birthday each of us would receive a ladder, a suitcase and a roadmap as present.  I think we all stayed home until our early twenties when we were kindly asked to leave and to spread our wings and learn to fly.  

See, I'm making it easy by being the one who splits. They can stay with their attachment parenting mother till whenever, and I can read my books and listen to my records in peace somewhere very far away. 

dankind said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

dankind said:

Fifthelement said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

Ummm...she replied with ”just stop talking”? I stand by my statement!

I would never say that to anyone, let alone a parent -- that is, unless the person were embarrassing himself/herself and I'm trying to prevent them from digging a deeper hole.

Her mom, a rude New Englander (is there any other kind?), says shit like that all the time, though.

Don't think I've ever said that either, actually.  I have thought "please, just shut the fuck up!" though.

Yeah, the relationship evolves, just as your girl.  Not always easy.

Your other thread got me thinking a lot about my own relationship with my father - the good and the bad (thankfully, never ugly).

I grew up without a father (not much of a mother either), so I’ve been doing my best to learn on the job. 

So far, I’ve made it 10 years longer than I thought I would. 

I got my first grey hair when my wife told me she was pregnant with our daughter, and I gave our marriage/family six months tops before I figured I’d be asked to pack it up.

I’m not a parent, but based on what I know of them (and you), I’d say you’re doing just fine. 

Even those with “ideal” childhoods still struggle with their own parenting, I believe. 

I may be doing fine, but I can't wait to be done.

I never wanted to be responsible for anyone but myself, and even that's incredibly difficult.

As soon as they turn 18, I imagine it will feel like a giant burden has been taken off my back. 

All during our teens my dad would joke that for our 18th birthday each of us would receive a ladder, a suitcase and a roadmap as present.  I think we all stayed home until our early twenties when we were kindly asked to leave and to spread our wings and learn to fly.  

See, I'm making it easy by being the one who splits. They can stay with their attachment parenting mother till whenever, and I can read my books and listen to my records in peace somewhere very far away. 

so you're married and you intend to leave your wife as well?

Yes. She knows she's welcome to come, but she thinks that the kids will benefit from being able come home to their old rooms during college breaks, etc. Blahblahblah. I didn't have a home to go to for college breaks, and I turned out OK.

dankind said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

dankind said:

HughFreakingDillon said:

dankind said:

Fifthelement said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

dankind said:

hedonist said:

Ummm...she replied with ”just stop talking”? I stand by my statement!

I would never say that to anyone, let alone a parent -- that is, unless the person were embarrassing himself/herself and I'm trying to prevent them from digging a deeper hole.

Her mom, a rude New Englander (is there any other kind?), says shit like that all the time, though.

Don't think I've ever said that either, actually.  I have thought "please, just shut the fuck up!" though.

Yeah, the relationship evolves, just as your girl.  Not always easy.

Your other thread got me thinking a lot about my own relationship with my father - the good and the bad (thankfully, never ugly).

I grew up without a father (not much of a mother either), so I’ve been doing my best to learn on the job. 

So far, I’ve made it 10 years longer than I thought I would. 

I got my first grey hair when my wife told me she was pregnant with our daughter, and I gave our marriage/family six months tops before I figured I’d be asked to pack it up.

I’m not a parent, but based on what I know of them (and you), I’d say you’re doing just fine. 

Even those with “ideal” childhoods still struggle with their own parenting, I believe. 

I may be doing fine, but I can't wait to be done.

I never wanted to be responsible for anyone but myself, and even that's incredibly difficult.

As soon as they turn 18, I imagine it will feel like a giant burden has been taken off my back. 

All during our teens my dad would joke that for our 18th birthday each of us would receive a ladder, a suitcase and a roadmap as present.  I think we all stayed home until our early twenties when we were kindly asked to leave and to spread our wings and learn to fly.  

See, I'm making it easy by being the one who splits. They can stay with their attachment parenting mother till whenever, and I can read my books and listen to my records in peace somewhere very far away. 

so you're married and you intend to leave your wife as well?

Yes. She knows she's welcome to come, but she thinks that the kids will benefit from being able come home to their old rooms during college breaks, etc. Blahblahblah. I didn't have a home to go to for college breaks, and I turned out OK.

well this might have something to do with your daughter's resentment. if i knew my dad intended on breaking up the family as soon as i or a sibling are out of high school, i might have issues with that as well. 

Where did I say anything about breaking up the family? My family spans from Florida to Alaska, and I don't consider us broken up.

My daughter is a twat to everyone right now, not just me. In fact, I think she's twattier to everyone else.

Anyway, she's been in therapy since 6; she'll be better off than anyone.