I'm Skipping Chemo to be in Chicago - Special Request for my Wife at Wrigley -

1upstate1upstate near Syracuse NY Posts: 185
edited August 2018 in The Porch

I am skipping my bi-weekly infusion of immunotherapy to be in Chicago this weekend. When I arrive back home I will go to the hospital the very next day for my treatment.  My oncologist told me to have fun and not to sweat missing it, for a couple days. 

 

However, this post is not about me, but my wife.

 

Late last fall, less than three weeks after losing her mother,  after a 7 year battle with the  horrors of dementia,  I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  I wasn’t sick at all, but one serious symptom reared its ugly head. I acted on that symptom and less than 12 hours and a wake up later, I was told I had a significant mass on a major organ and the scans showed significant metastatic activity.  Surgery was scheduled and the cancer source was removed.  However, the metastatic activity would need to be monitored, closely. 

 

When my wife asked what I wanted for Xmas I said, “I want to go stare at the ocean, and go see as many bands as we can this summer.”    Since I was a kid, the ocean and music were my escapes from reality.   That's it, let's go immerse ourselves in some music!  

 

As tour dates were being announced for numerous bands, we began our planning. I honestly had no idea whether I would be able to go, or if I would even be here. But the planning began.  Imagine how happy I was when saw that her favorite band would be playing some big stadium shows this summer.  I entered the lottery, hoped for a miracle and we won tickets, to both nights, including GA on Monday night.

 

As spring started turning to summer I started to get gravely ill, not from cancer, but unexpected side effects from the medicines I was on. I was sick, couldn’t keep a thing down, had serious lung and other major organ issues. I was steadfast, we are not changing a thing, onward to our shows.  My oncologist knew the only way I would miss any shows was if I was incapacitated, or dead and told my wife that I was not jeopardizing my health more, by going.  These trips were too important to her, to us.  We went to Red Rocks, twice.  We’ve been to Florida, NYC, and all over the northeast. The first trip we went on, was brutally hot and I could barely move, but we managed.   She was my rock, put up with the daily hell of me being very sick, but she continued to do everything to make sure it was as good as it could be, for me. At times, it was brutal. I couldn’t eat, breathing was difficult.  Her worry for me detracted from her experience, but she never said a word. 

We have laughed, we have cried, we have danced, all summer, regardless of my condition.  Miraculously, the side effects started to get under control late last month and I have been doing much better. We're  extremely excited after the Seattle shows, for the Chicago shows. 


My request is a simple one and it’s  for her.  If “Black” is played this weekend , please dedicate it to my wife, Christine. She’s always said when she hears that song, “I just know he’s singing this to me” For some reason she thinks she has a pass for Eddie from me, but she doesn’t. I don’t know Ed, at all.  =)

 

We’re going to try our damnedest to get into GA early Monday so I can get her as close to Eddie and the band as possible. I can’t spend 12-15 hours in line, I’d be out cold by show time, but we can likely go in when the gates open.


  My attitude with life is different now, so I won’t sweat the small stuff. I hope we’re surrounded by nothing but people, who realize we’re all in this journey together, like it or not.  I’ll be the guy down there weeping if they play “I am Mine” or “Just Breathe” cause those songs  hit me very hard.   My prognosis isn’t horrible; it’s unknown, which can be cruel as we await the next scan or test.  So I will live and cherish the moments I share with all of you, and her.

One thing I tell myself all the time is that I need to put things in perspective and it’s my advice to all of you.

 

 I also tell myself, “I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me”  because it could be so much worse.


Thank you all for reading 


See you at the ball park! 

"I know I was born and I know that I'll die. The in between is mine"
Post edited by 1upstate on
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Comments

  • PJWGIIIPJWGIII Chicago, ILPosts: 716
    Full support bump!
    "Red Rover, Red Rover, Mike McCready-Take Over!!" - E.V.

    2018- Chicago 2 (Wrigley Field) 8/20
    http://www.livefootsteps.org/user/?usr=4631

    EV:
    2018 - CURE Benefit Show (Chicago - Navy Pier) 10/15

    RIP: Andy, Kurt, Chris
                                       * * * * * * * * *
  • PJWGIIIPJWGIII Chicago, ILPosts: 716
    Also just realized now how amazing that line from Wishlist is. Goddamn Ed is an underrated songwriter.
    "Red Rover, Red Rover, Mike McCready-Take Over!!" - E.V.

    2018- Chicago 2 (Wrigley Field) 8/20
    http://www.livefootsteps.org/user/?usr=4631

    EV:
    2018 - CURE Benefit Show (Chicago - Navy Pier) 10/15

    RIP: Andy, Kurt, Chris
                                       * * * * * * * * *
  • PJWGIII said:
    Also just realized now how amazing that line from Wishlist is. Goddamn Ed is an underrated songwriter.

    Same thing just struck me as well!

    Yet another thread that reminds me how we are all humans with our own tale to tell.

    OP... you sound like you have a great perspective. Good job, man. And good luck with your request.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
  • 1upstate1upstate near Syracuse NY Posts: 185
    PJWGIII said:
    Full support bump!
    Any and all support is appreciated. Thanks. 
    "I know I was born and I know that I'll die. The in between is mine"
  • BLACK35BLACK35 Hanover, Ontario Posts: 21,154
    1upstate said:
    PJWGIII said:
    Full support bump!
    Any and all support is appreciated. Thanks. 
    Support this thread, hope your wife gets her song
    2005 - London
    2009 - Toronto
    2010 - Buffalo
    2011 - Toronto 1&2
    2013 - London, Pittsburgh, Buffalo
    2014 - Cincinnati, St. Louis, Detroit
    2016 - Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Ottawa, Toronto 1
    2018 - Fenway 1&2
  • nicknyr15nicknyr15 Posts: 2,513
    Lost my mom to cancer. Primary caretaker fir my grandma who has late stage dementia now after a 5 year battle. I fully support this thread and I hope you get your dedication. Your wife must be a very strong person. Wow. 
  • BF89905BF89905 Posts: 1,046
    'Best wishes for safe travels and great experiences at both Wrigley concerts
  • Sirens4Sirens4 Posts: 298
    Amazing story!!! Hope you get Black !!!
    Springfield 94 hartford 96,98,06,08 xl center 2010,2013 boston 06,2010 mansfield ma 1998,2000,2003,2008
  • jacquelyncajacquelynca Yay Area CAPosts: 248
    Read your whole post.  Stay strong!  I truly believe that with a positive mindset and doing the things you love...that’s some of the best medicine right there.  I hope you get your song for your wife!!!

    IG and twitter - @jacquelynincali

    1994 - Bridge School Benefit, Shoreline Mountain View CA
    *** 1995 - 2015 High School, College, Broke, Having Kids***
    2016 - Temple of the Dog, Bill Graham Civic Center Auditorium, San Francisco CA
    2017 - Eddie Vedder, Bourbon and Beyond, Louisville KY
    2018 - The Home Shows, Show 2, Seattle WA

    "Watch out for music. It should come with a health warning. It can be dangerous. It can make you feel so alive, so connected to the people around you, and connected to what you really are inside. And it can make you think that the world should, and could, be a much better place. And just occasionally, it can make you very, very happy." -Peter Gabriel
  • AmishGuy91AmishGuy91 Posts: 726
    Cheering you on!  Black was played in Seattle
  • Ray J. T.Ray J. T. Posts: 3,593
    Sending you and your family strong positive vibes as well as thoughts and prayers on a speedy recovery. Enjoy the shows. I can't imagine Black not getting played at some point throughout the 2 shows. Stay strong. 
  • PoncierPoncier Posts: 9,892
    Enjoy the shows, keep the positive outlook and best wishes for a full recovery.
    This weekend we rock Portland
  • bigbiggzybigbiggzy Posts: 301
    Sending love your way.
    Bump
  • 1upstate1upstate near Syracuse NY Posts: 185
    Read your whole post.  Stay strong!  I truly believe that with a positive mindset and doing the things you love...that’s some of the best medicine right there.  I hope you get your song for your wife!!!

    Thank you, thank you. All of you, for your support and understanding. Through all of this the one thing I always say is, "the support of my family, friends and even strangers humbles me to the point that I get emotional" 

    If losing my shit would accomplish anything, I would. I'm not that proud. But I've found that it never does. Every single one of us has problems, some are easier than others to deal with.  

    As these dates approached, I honestly could not believe it was happening, I really wondered where I would be today.  

    So, thank you for the support. 

    "I know I was born and I know that I'll die. The in between is mine"
  • BLACK FOR CHRISTINE!
  • hedonisthedonist standing on the edge of foreverPosts: 19,958
    Those who love and care for us when we're at our worst don't get close to the thanks and appreciation they should.

    I wish you both well and then some - may you continue to be each other's anchors.

  • jacquelyncajacquelynca Yay Area CAPosts: 248
    Just want to say, I know I speak for many of us when I say we are lifting you up in love and sending so much strength, positivity, and prayers your way!!!  I have a friend, a stage 4 cancer (colon) survivor and her IG is @tenacious_jess if you'd like to follow her journey, she's pretty damn inspiring.

    Pearl Jam, Please play Black for Christine!!!!!  XOXO
    IG and twitter - @jacquelynincali

    1994 - Bridge School Benefit, Shoreline Mountain View CA
    *** 1995 - 2015 High School, College, Broke, Having Kids***
    2016 - Temple of the Dog, Bill Graham Civic Center Auditorium, San Francisco CA
    2017 - Eddie Vedder, Bourbon and Beyond, Louisville KY
    2018 - The Home Shows, Show 2, Seattle WA

    "Watch out for music. It should come with a health warning. It can be dangerous. It can make you feel so alive, so connected to the people around you, and connected to what you really are inside. And it can make you think that the world should, and could, be a much better place. And just occasionally, it can make you very, very happy." -Peter Gabriel
  • cozmic135cozmic135 Posts: 6
    edited August 2018
    Geez, Ed... I wasn’t expecting to go into the day reading something that brought tears to my eyes and this certainly did...

    One thing I can let all of you know is that, I can vouch for this guy here... I think I can say that I know him fairly well and I think of him as a cherished friend. Oddly enough, we became friends a handful of years ago through another band’s community and its branched our from there.

    He is humble, he is a straight shooter and honestly one of my favorite people but he doesn’t live his struggles out for the world to see. What he’s going through now and has been going through, he doesn’t wear it on his sleeve as he doesn’t want this to overshadow any day or any moment he can enjoy. He keeps much of this battle to himself but that’s how he gets through it.

    His love for music is deep... It’s part of what makes up his soul. I was at the Seattle shows last weekend and we were messaging throughout the weekend. He was paying close attention to those shows - we’ve been talk PJ daily for weeks now. He is not lying about being excited for Chicago and having this experience with his wife. This one will be special for them...

    I hope they play Black, Ed. For Chris, for you, for the moments it will bring... I especially hope they play it Monday night when you and her are in GA hopefully close to that rail, so she can look up and see Eddie singing it to her. It’s one of those moments that neither of you will forget.

    Enjoy your shows, friend. I know they will turn out to be even more than you were ever expecting...

    Be well.
    Post edited by cozmic135 on
  • PeArLgOoNeRPeArLgOoNeR Posts: 1,021
    Make it happen!

    Hamburg 2000, Berlin 2006, Copenhagen 2007, Berlin 2009, Berlin 2010, Berlin 1+2 2012, Copenhagen 2012, Amsterdam 1+2 2014, Vienna 2014, Berlin 2014, Prague 2018, Krakow 2018
  • 1upstate1upstate near Syracuse NY Posts: 185
    Just landed !!   I love you people.  Thank you. 
    "I know I was born and I know that I'll die. The in between is mine"
  • jacquelyncajacquelynca Yay Area CAPosts: 248
    Bump !
    IG and twitter - @jacquelynincali

    1994 - Bridge School Benefit, Shoreline Mountain View CA
    *** 1995 - 2015 High School, College, Broke, Having Kids***
    2016 - Temple of the Dog, Bill Graham Civic Center Auditorium, San Francisco CA
    2017 - Eddie Vedder, Bourbon and Beyond, Louisville KY
    2018 - The Home Shows, Show 2, Seattle WA

    "Watch out for music. It should come with a health warning. It can be dangerous. It can make you feel so alive, so connected to the people around you, and connected to what you really are inside. And it can make you think that the world should, and could, be a much better place. And just occasionally, it can make you very, very happy." -Peter Gabriel
  • I hope this happens. Enjoy the shows. Live it to the fullest, cherish the moments. 
  • Bump 4 this to happen!
  • BlackCircleBlackCircle Charlotte, NCPosts: 289
    Bumpity bump.

    Let's hear it!
    I'm like a tab
  • Figured, I’d just take a minute to bump this one because, well, why not?!
  • PP49889PP49889 Posts: 105
    Have a great time, brother!
  • 1upstate1upstate near Syracuse NY Posts: 185
    Everyone has been so awesome. Thank you. Thank you 
    "I know I was born and I know that I'll die. The in between is mine"
  • JennsisJennsis Boston, MAPosts: 80
    Bump
    Hartford 10.25.13 | NYC - GCF 09.26.15 | MSG 05.02.16 | Fenway 08.05.16 | Fenway 08.07.16 | Seattle 08.08.18 | Seattle 08.10.18 | Missoula 08.13.18 | Chicago 08.18.18 | Chicago 08.20.18 | Fenway 09.02.18 | Fenway 09.04.18

  • BlackCircleBlackCircle Charlotte, NCPosts: 289
    AWESOME meeting you!!
    You and your wife are the best!

    Bump for Black!!!
    I'm like a tab
  • 1upstate1upstate near Syracuse NY Posts: 185
    edited August 2018
    AWESOME meeting you!!
    You and your wife are the best!

    Bump for Black!!!
    Drew- outstanding!!  

    Well, today is the day.  We’re gonna get soaked, but I don’t care.  Been a beautiful 3 days in Chicago, with old and new friends that have made this such a special trip.  I can’t thank you all enough, from the bottom of my heart.  

    Saturday was was just great... I’ll admit “Just Breathe” kicked the shit out of me pretty bad. If “I am Mine” is played tonight, it’ll be hard to remain composed. 

    See, my wife doesn’t have a clue about this request.  She would likely be mad at me. But if anyone can swing her mood, it’s Eddie Vedder.  So, I’m not taking it down.  I was going to make a sign.  She didn’t like it, “because it’s not you”. She’s right.  It’s not. So, I’m removing any reference to “I” from it. But I feel like I gotta try. 

    Again, I appreciate the support, stated or not. 
    Post edited by 1upstate on
    "I know I was born and I know that I'll die. The in between is mine"
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