Oh ok. Were you able to turn stuff off like suggested from above with the pics?
Or yes I agree just unfriend him. He's not singling you out....? Right? He's just sending to all on his list. He's not gonna go thru and say "oh yeah. .. so and so won't come".
If it bothers you enough just unfriend.
Oh please let it rain today.
Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
Oh ok. Were you able to turn stuff off like suggested from above with the pics?
Or yes I agree just unfriend him. He's not singling you out....? Right? He's just sending to all on his list. He's not gonna go thru and say "oh yeah. .. so and so won't come".
If it bothers you enough just unfriend.
He actually sends to less people than on his friends list. I was on my phone. Will try from my pc next time.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
I unfollowed my own brother because his and his wife's constant "praise the lord" shit.
religious recruiters don't stop. plus, it's facebook. it's easy to just "invite everybody" in one click. it's no different than all those stupid fucking game requests I get from friends. I have blocked many of those games. some of the people I have just unfollowed.
honestly, if facebook causes you this much stress, delete your account. people kept in touch before facebook. so can you. you might enjoy sitting down and writing a letter instead anyway. or picking up the phone. despite what social media tells you, you aren't missing anything by not seeing your cousin's kid's 150 baseball action shots.
"every society honours its live conformists and its dead troublemakers"
I unfollowed my own brother because his and his wife's constant "praise the lord" shit.
religious recruiters don't stop. plus, it's facebook. it's easy to just "invite everybody" in one click. it's no different than all those stupid fucking game requests I get from friends. I have blocked many of those games. some of the people I have just unfollowed.
honestly, if facebook causes you this much stress, delete your account. people kept in touch before facebook. so can you. you might enjoy sitting down and writing a letter instead anyway. or picking up the phone. despite what social media tells you, you aren't missing anything by not seeing your cousin's kid's 150 baseball action shots.
I did the same to my cousins wife. All I saw on my newsfeed was her religious stuff and anti gay marriage likes and comments.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
^^^ Good for you ThoughtsArrive. Facebook unfollowing also lets the other person know that you couldn't care less what they ate or are eating at the moment.
^^^ Good for you ThoughtsArrive. Facebook unfollowing also lets the other person know that you couldn't care less what they ate or are eating at the moment.
I didn't know that option was available when I removed her from my friend list. Otherwise I would've just unfollowed. No wonder they didn't visit my family when they came to Australia recently haha
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
^^^ Good for you ThoughtsArrive. Facebook unfollowing also lets the other person know that you couldn't care less what they ate or are eating at the moment.
people don't know when you unfollow them. that's why it's a good option.
"every society honours its live conformists and its dead troublemakers"
OP, you mentioned earlier about being a people pleaser. I am too. But when I learned to say "no" to people, it became one of the most powerful tools for living a quality & less stressful life. More often than not, people will respect the strength of your conviction more than their feelings being hurt or offended. And if not, those are the people you don't need in your life anyway. You don't need to satisfy everyone and definitely don't need to beat yourself up over it.
OP, you mentioned earlier about being a people pleaser. I am too. But when I learned to say "no" to people, it became one of the most powerful tools for living a quality & less stressful life. More often than not, people will respect the strength of your conviction more than their feelings being hurt or offended. And if not, those are the people you don't need in your life anyway. You don't need to satisfy everyone and definitely don't need to beat yourself up over it.
this. 1000 times this.
in my teens and twenties I was the poster child for peer pressure. I'd do pretty much anything people dared me to do, even if I knew it was a bad idea. it took me a long time to realize that I don't need to do these things for people to enjoy my company, and if they did, then they weren't worthy of me. I hope you learn this sooner rather than later. it took way too long for me to realize that.
only care how you feel. not how others see you.
"every society honours its live conformists and its dead troublemakers"
OP, you mentioned earlier about being a people pleaser. I am too. But when I learned to say "no" to people, it became one of the most powerful tools for living a quality & less stressful life. More often than not, people will respect the strength of your conviction more than their feelings being hurt or offended. And if not, those are the people you don't need in your life anyway. You don't need to satisfy everyone and definitely don't need to beat yourself up over it.
Excellent advice. Seriously write it down or print it out and read it every day. Have you ever heard the saying "fake it until you make it"? Just reinforce it in your mind over and over until it becomes natural.
You shouldn't let Facebook trap you into thinking it's the ONLY way to stay in touch with people you love and care about. We existed for so long without it - cultivating and maintaining meaningful relationships right? I think besides the whole 'staying in touch with people' argument, there's a 'sharing' component that people have come to struggle letting go. In the age of everything at the speed of the internet, all the time, it can be consuming to want to post things to let people know how you're feeling, what you're eating, who your fucking, etc., etc., etc.,
Thank you all for your posts. A guy I was friends with for many years used to call me every weekend even whilst I was at work begging me to go out with him on the weekend. It was like an unhappy relationship I was trapped in. He pressured me every weekend to go out. I dreaded every weekend knowing he would call and I'd have to answer my phone and deal with him. We had nothing in common other than being from the same ethnic community here and our parents are friends, we drifted apart and I was just there with him on the weekend as I was scared to say no and didn't want to upset him. I finally had enough when he was pressuring me to go to a strip club with him, something I am not a fan of, I don't like strip clubs, been once as I had no choice as I was part of a group in high school that went. I cracked in the car with him and yelled at him. Haven't seen him since. He invited me via text message to his 30th birthday party but I didn't reply or go. For me its always about not wanting to upset the other person and have them pissed off at me.
Adelaide 17/11/2009, Melbourne 20/11/2009, Sydney 22/11/2009, Melbourne (Big Day Out Festival) 24/01/2014
Thank you all for your posts. A guy I was friends with for many years used to call me every weekend even whilst I was at work begging me to go out with him on the weekend. It was like an unhappy relationship I was trapped in. He pressured me every weekend to go out. I dreaded every weekend knowing he would call and I'd have to answer my phone and deal with him. We had nothing in common other than being from the same ethnic community here and our parents are friends, we drifted apart and I was just there with him on the weekend as I was scared to say no and didn't want to upset him. I finally had enough when he was pressuring me to go to a strip club with him, something I am not a fan of, I don't like strip clubs, been once as I had no choice as I was part of a group in high school that went. I cracked in the car with him and yelled at him. Haven't seen him since. He invited me via text message to his 30th birthday party but I didn't reply or go. For me its always about not wanting to upset the other person and have them pissed off at me.
I have a neighbour who seems to think since our kids are friends that automatically means we are buddies. we don't click very well in my mind. he's a nice enough guy, we are just very different. you just have to learn to say "no thanks", and stick to it. he called me one Friday after work. he said he wanted to come to my place for a beer. I said I was lying down, which was the truth. Long pause. then he said "ok, so you're, uh....busy then....talk to you later". and that was that. don't let the uncomfortable pauses dig you into something you don't want to do.
I went to his place one day to pick up my daughter. he gave me a beer. I had the beer. I hung out for a bit, and then just said "alright, time to head home". he looked at me all puzzled, thinking I was down for an all nighter. But I thanked him for the beer, and left.
believe me, it took me a LONG time to get to the point where I was confident enough to act this way. 10 years ago I would have stayed at his house all night and hated it. But living that way makes no sense.
"every society honours its live conformists and its dead troublemakers"
Comments
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
even if I look and act really crazy.
From yet another beloved JC -
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
Do you have to respond? Can't it just be there?
Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
Or yes I agree just unfriend him. He's not singling you out....? Right? He's just sending to all on his list. He's not gonna go thru and say "oh yeah. .. so and so won't come".
If it bothers you enough just unfriend.
Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
religious recruiters don't stop. plus, it's facebook. it's easy to just "invite everybody" in one click. it's no different than all those stupid fucking game requests I get from friends. I have blocked many of those games. some of the people I have just unfollowed.
honestly, if facebook causes you this much stress, delete your account. people kept in touch before facebook. so can you. you might enjoy sitting down and writing a letter instead anyway. or picking up the phone. despite what social media tells you, you aren't missing anything by not seeing your cousin's kid's 150 baseball action shots.
All I saw on my newsfeed was her religious stuff and anti gay marriage likes and comments.
Good for you ThoughtsArrive.
Facebook unfollowing also lets the other person know that you couldn't care less what they ate or are eating at the moment.
Otherwise I would've just unfollowed. No wonder they didn't visit my family when they came to Australia recently haha
2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
in my teens and twenties I was the poster child for peer pressure. I'd do pretty much anything people dared me to do, even if I knew it was a bad idea. it took me a long time to realize that I don't need to do these things for people to enjoy my company, and if they did, then they weren't worthy of me. I hope you learn this sooner rather than later. it took way too long for me to realize that.
only care how you feel. not how others see you.
A guy I was friends with for many years used to call me every weekend even whilst I was at work begging me to go out with him on the weekend. It was like an unhappy relationship I was trapped in. He pressured me every weekend to go out. I dreaded every weekend knowing he would call and I'd have to answer my phone and deal with him. We had nothing in common other than being from the same ethnic community here and our parents are friends, we drifted apart and I was just there with him on the weekend as I was scared to say no and didn't want to upset him. I finally had enough when he was pressuring me to go to a strip club with him, something I am not a fan of, I don't like strip clubs, been once as I had no choice as I was part of a group in high school that went. I cracked in the car with him and yelled at him. Haven't seen him since. He invited me via text message to his 30th birthday party but I didn't reply or go. For me its always about not wanting to upset the other person and have them pissed off at me.
I went to his place one day to pick up my daughter. he gave me a beer. I had the beer. I hung out for a bit, and then just said "alright, time to head home". he looked at me all puzzled, thinking I was down for an all nighter. But I thanked him for the beer, and left.
believe me, it took me a LONG time to get to the point where I was confident enough to act this way. 10 years ago I would have stayed at his house all night and hated it. But living that way makes no sense.