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I'm done

PJSirenPJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
edited March 2016 in All Encompassing Trip
Screw it...whatever....I don't care...apparently its not ok to come on here and ask for help or support...thanks PJfan....whatever...you win asshole....hope I get banned for this!
Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
Tattooed Dissident!
Post edited by PJSiren on
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Comments

  • what dreamswhat dreams Posts: 1,761
    Wow, this sounds totally messed up. I'm sorry your daughter is hurting inside. Nobody at her age acts out like this unless there are far more serious underlying issues. You need to get her to a counselor. It's beyond any advice we can give you.

    Your gut about the drugs is spot on. As soon as you said she stole 40 dollars, that's where my mind went.

    The cutting needs to be dealt with by a health professional. I have worked with students who cut, and I'm telling you, if that gets out of control, it's almost impossible to cure.

    I'm also concerned about the relationship with your husband. It sounds abusive, sorry, but the way you've described it doesn't sound good.

    And I'm afraid of what you don't know. Has she been sexually abused? This story screams it.

    I truly wish your family well. You need support. It's already out of your control, and she's only 14. Serious intervention needed, even if it takes committing her somewhere. I know a handful of kids who really thrived after residential treatment. But it's a long road ahead. Don't give up on her. Recognize she is screaming out for help, and you have to make the hard calls for her.
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,320
    Holy crap! I wish I could offer some advice but I don't have much. Sounds like she's acting out for a reason that she may or may not be aware of. Perhaps you should all go talk to someone, a family therapist/psychologist or something.
  • OMGkatwomanOMGkatwoman Posts: 3,230
    ^^^^ My thoughts exactly, find a good therapist for her,one that specifically deals with teens (this information should be accessible on their profile page using google search, ask questions and make sure it's a good fit for her,. Best of luck to you all and sending positives and pray all goes well for your family.
  • PJfanwillneverleave1PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    Seek help from a real live in the flesh professional.
    Thoughts and prayers will do nothing.
  • mca47mca47 Posts: 13,320
    Is it too late, or is she too old to put up for adoption?




    I kid! ;)
  • PJSirenPJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    She's never been sexually abused...that we know of...unless it happened before she came to live with my husband...
    He's not abusive...he's never done anything like that before....but with her attitude and the way she's been behaving lately and the way she's been talking to both of us...she's been swearing at us and everything that moment set him off.
    We are going to get her into counseling, we're all three going to seek counseling to try to work this out....
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • Wma31394Wma31394 Posts: 3,045
    Go get perfessional help..requesting pearl jam message boards prayers and good vibes won't help..
    "Going where the water tastes like wine!"
  • PJSirenPJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    Seek help from a real live in the flesh professional.
    Thoughts and prayers will do nothing.

    Thoughts and prayers do all kinds of miracles every day...clearly you don't believe in God...so you can take your negative self away from me. I don't need your input.
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • PJfanwillneverleave1PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    PJSiren said:

    She's never been sexually abused...that we know of...unless it happened before she came to live with my husband...
    He's not abusive...he's never done anything like that before....but with her attitude and the way she's been behaving lately and the way she's been talking to both of us...she's been swearing at us and everything that moment set him off.
    We are going to get her into counseling, we're all three going to seek counseling to try to work this out....

    You just answered with what we are telling you.
    There is nothing else to do but get help and follow the advice from said help.
  • PJSirenPJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    Is there a reason you're such an ass to people? Really? I'm going though something here...and you're just being a total jerk...go away and leave me alone.
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • PJfanwillneverleave1PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.
  • OMGkatwomanOMGkatwoman Posts: 3,230
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    PJSiren said:

    She's never been sexually abused...that we know of...unless it happened before she came to live with my husband...
    He's not abusive...he's never done anything like that before....but with her attitude and the way she's been behaving lately and the way she's been talking to both of us...she's been swearing at us and everything that moment set him off.
    We are going to get her into counseling, we're all three going to seek counseling to try to work this out....

    You just answered with what we are telling you.
    There is nothing else to do but get help and follow the advice from said help.
    This is a frightening thing for parents to go through,asking for support from us and those that you trust should be seen as a positive effort in support of her daughter.
  • what dreamswhat dreams Posts: 1,761
    PJSiren said:

    She's never been sexually abused...that we know of...unless it happened before she came to live with my husband...
    He's not abusive...he's never done anything like that before....but with her attitude and the way she's been behaving lately and the way she's been talking to both of us...she's been swearing at us and everything that moment set him off.
    We are going to get her into counseling, we're all three going to seek counseling to try to work this out....

    Just be prepared for her to resist counseling. Don't give her the option. It may take her time to open up. Stick with it even if she fights you every step of the way.

    I do pray for you, and I do believe miracles happen. This miracle will be a work in progress for a long time to come, but there is always hope!!!!
  • RKCNDYRKCNDY Posts: 31,013
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

    - Christopher McCandless
  • FoxyRedLaFoxyRedLa Lauren / MI Posts: 4,810
    :disappointed: PJSiren. :hug: - I'm so sorry! I'm trying to remember what we talked about last time. About her dad. Anyway. I agree with some of the above. It might - I don't want to say be too late cuz that's not really what I mean - but like she might catch on. But. Does she have any interests? Any? I would fill up her schedule so fast! She would have some sort of activity to go to every day. If she's not into sports - any volunteer work with people kids animals farms old people haha I'd be finding something anything and every day. Swimming. I know it seems silly but. If she can open up enough and find something she likes it could be enough to distract her enough to be too busy to do anything else. Nothing that earns money tho because of the other stuff in question.

    I don't really know about "committing" her. What do you think? Has it gotten to that point? Would she even cooperate? Would they just make her a zombie?

    I don't think the relationship with your husband is abusive. You needed to get her attention. But gosh what do you do? You have options but which?

    What are you thinking now? Are you ok? Do you think she'll change?

    I could keep going but I don't know. Lol I can't even form compete sentences. My heart races for you.
    Oh please let it rain today.
    Those that can be trusted can change their mind.
  • PJfanwillneverleave1PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    what dreams said:

    Wow, this sounds totally messed up. I'm sorry your daughter is hurting inside. Nobody at her age acts out like this unless there are far more serious underlying issues. You need to get her to a counselor. It's beyond any advice we can give you.

    Your gut about the drugs is spot on. As soon as you said she stole 40 dollars, that's where my mind went.

    The cutting needs to be dealt with by a health professional. I have worked with students who cut, and I'm telling you, if that gets out of control, it's almost impossible to cure.

    I'm also concerned about the relationship with your husband. It sounds abusive, sorry, but the way you've described it doesn't sound good.

    And I'm afraid of what you don't know. Has she been sexually abused? This story screams it.

    I truly wish your family well. You need support. It's already out of your control, and she's only 14. Serious intervention needed, even if it takes committing her somewhere. I know a handful of kids who really thrived after residential treatment. But it's a long road ahead. Don't give up on her. Recognize she is screaming out for help, and you have to make the hard calls for her.

    This is an awesome post. Sage advice given (compassionate, too).

    PJS, keeping good thoughts for your family.
  • OMGkatwomanOMGkatwoman Posts: 3,230
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    Listen, some of us here work as child advocates, social services etc.... asking for support ,reassurance etc... will do nothing but good ,including prayers sent for this family, if that is their belief system, try to respect that and peoples personal choices regarding such.
  • PJfanwillneverleave1PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    Listen, some of us here work as child advocates, social services etc.... asking for support ,reassurance etc... will do nothing but good ,including prayers sent for this family, if that is their belief system, try to respect that and peoples personal choices regarding such.
    No.
    If you have information that someone has done self harm or in custody of a person who does these things you have a moral obligation to immediately seek professional help.
  • hedonisthedonist Posts: 24,524
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    She also asked for advice from others who may have gone through this or something similar.

    Jesus christ, of all the threads to shit upon, THIS is the chosen one?

    Comes a time to realize when you should back off with a modicum of grace. That time might be now.

  • OMGkatwomanOMGkatwoman Posts: 3,230
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    Listen, some of us here work as child advocates, social services etc.... asking for support ,reassurance etc... will do nothing but good ,including prayers sent for this family, if that is their belief system, try to respect that and peoples personal choices regarding such.
    No.
    If you have information that someone has done self harm or in custody of a person who does these things you have a moral obligation to immediately seek professional help.
    I never said there shouldn't be professional intervention, the key word being professional, Op was asking for advice and support in seeking help for her child.
  • PJfanwillneverleave1PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    Listen, some of us here work as child advocates, social services etc.... asking for support ,reassurance etc... will do nothing but good ,including prayers sent for this family, if that is their belief system, try to respect that and peoples personal choices regarding such.
    No.
    If you have information that someone has done self harm or in custody of a person who does these things you have a moral obligation to immediately seek professional help.
    I never said there shouldn't be professional intervention, the key word being professional, Op was asking for advice and support in seeking help for her child.
    And the only answer is to immediately get professional help.
    Cutting? It's past the time to ask others for advice.
  • OMGkatwomanOMGkatwoman Posts: 3,230
    Well, since you want to mince words don't forget support, it's crucial for families in crisis.
  • PJSirenPJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    Listen, some of us here work as child advocates, social services etc.... asking for support ,reassurance etc... will do nothing but good ,including prayers sent for this family, if that is their belief system, try to respect that and peoples personal choices regarding such.
    No.
    If you have information that someone has done self harm or in custody of a person who does these things you have a moral obligation to immediately seek professional help.
    I never said there shouldn't be professional intervention, the key word being professional, Op was asking for advice and support in seeking help for her child.
    And the only answer is to immediately get professional help.
    Cutting? It's past the time to ask others for advice.
    We are already seeking help for her, that's not what I'm asking for advice or help on...so why don't you quit shitting on me and go somewhere else....

    Do you even have kids...do you even know what it's like to be a parent? I'm seeking support for myself not for my kid....
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • Sprunkn7Sprunkn7 Posts: 5,286
    I have no advise to give since i don't have kids but this must be heartbreaking for you. I'm sorry and I hope you can work things out. I never listened to my parents when i was 14. I stayed out, smoked pot, shoplifted, I didn't have the internet, the phone and all the "newer" problems teens have to face. I just did it because I wanted to and I got away with it. I was never abused or had any deep seeded issue. We went to counseling as a family and I hated it. But now, 37 years later I can still remember some of the things we talked about. We had a very good counselor who made me see there was a bigger world outside of just me. My mom and I went through a lot but she was always there for me and we have been super close since my early 20's. Hang in there and believe things can turn around.

    I always loved my parents and I'm sure she loves you. Best of luck and please, I hope you feel you can vent here.
    :hug:
    Thank you fellow 10 clubber for saving my ass....again!!!
  • PJfanwillneverleave1PJfanwillneverleave1 Posts: 12,885
    PJSiren said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    Listen, some of us here work as child advocates, social services etc.... asking for support ,reassurance etc... will do nothing but good ,including prayers sent for this family, if that is their belief system, try to respect that and peoples personal choices regarding such.
    No.
    If you have information that someone has done self harm or in custody of a person who does these things you have a moral obligation to immediately seek professional help.
    I never said there shouldn't be professional intervention, the key word being professional, Op was asking for advice and support in seeking help for her child.
    And the only answer is to immediately get professional help.
    Cutting? It's past the time to ask others for advice.
    We are already seeking help for her, that's not what I'm asking for advice or help on...so why don't you quit shitting on me and go somewhere else....

    Do you even have kids...do you even know what it's like to be a parent? I'm seeking support for myself not for my kid....
    Yes I have children.
    And if one of mine did anything like you mentioned I would be pissed too. I would also know that professional help is the only way.
  • deadendpdeadendp Northeast Ohio Posts: 10,434
    PJSiren, You have my prayers. :hug:
    2014: Cincinnati
    2016: Lexington and Wrigley 1
  • EnkiduEnkidu So Cal Posts: 2,996
    I read your post and was going to type "thoughts and prayers" and then read the comments and I'm horrified.

    My heart breaks for you and I think counseling is a wonderful idea (it's helped me and my family members many a time). And I think knowing that other people are offering you good thoughts and hugs and prayers - I hope that will give you comfort. I know it would make me feel better.

    Many hugs from her in LA.
  • PJSirenPJSiren Salem, OR Posts: 5,863
    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    PJSiren said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    OMGkatwoman said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    RKCNDY said:

    PJfanwillneverleave1 said:

    You dumped a very heavy problem asking for answers.
    Professional help is the path you should take.
    Do her a favour and start immediately.

    Perhaps the type of 'help' she is seeking is a place to vent or just to chat with people...to know she is not alone in the difficult world of raising a child.
    It's not that hard to comprehend.
    The OP talks of a person who has done self harm.
    Get help immediately or call 911. Getting "advice" from a chatroom may do more harm than good.
    Especially if people tell the OP to pray it all away.
    Listen, some of us here work as child advocates, social services etc.... asking for support ,reassurance etc... will do nothing but good ,including prayers sent for this family, if that is their belief system, try to respect that and peoples personal choices regarding such.
    No.
    If you have information that someone has done self harm or in custody of a person who does these things you have a moral obligation to immediately seek professional help.
    I never said there shouldn't be professional intervention, the key word being professional, Op was asking for advice and support in seeking help for her child.
    And the only answer is to immediately get professional help.
    Cutting? It's past the time to ask others for advice.
    We are already seeking help for her, that's not what I'm asking for advice or help on...so why don't you quit shitting on me and go somewhere else....

    Do you even have kids...do you even know what it's like to be a parent? I'm seeking support for myself not for my kid....
    Yes I have children.
    And if one of mine did anything like you mentioned I would be pissed too. I would also know that professional help is the only way.
    You're still not getting it...I'm not here for her...I'm here for me...professional help isn't the only way for me...I need the help and support of friends which is what I like to think I have here...and clearly you're not one of them.
    Music is my Religion and Pearl Jam, my Savior!
    Tattooed Dissident!
  • Thirty Bills UnpaidThirty Bills Unpaid Posts: 16,881
    She's got some bad friends. In particular... the male friends.

    I've seen a lot of girls the same age- which has to be the worst for a young girl- hit rough stretches and bounce back. Although... it seems your daughter is in a particularly rough stretch right now. You're going to have to ride out the storm until the sun pokes out from behind the clouds.

    Continue to love. Do the best you can- make her your absolute priority. Nobody here can truly help you, but we can feel your pain. My daughter's 15.
    "My brain's a good brain!"
This discussion has been closed.