what's on your mind, right now?

jnimhaoileoin said:

samjam said:

I knew this was coming sooner or later...just had my first friend (that isn't mormon or an orthodox jew) announce her engagement and pregnancy (a double whammy)! Weird I'm about that age now that I'll be seeing more and more of this. Maybe just strange to me as I am in NO place ready for, or even want, those things. Happy for her nonetheless, but it took me by surprise! As The Boss says, "Oooohhhh, growin upppp"

I'm frequently getting reminders of how little I've accomplished in my life as all the people I was in school with get married and have babies! I'm also 4 years worse off than you haha

Just keep in mind that marriage and having kids is not necessarily the end all and be all of life, despite what much of society likes to dictate. I am 39 and neither married nor a mother, and I don't at all feel that I have accomplished little in life. If getting married and having kids is something you want to do, great, but don't drink the Kool-Aid. It is not a requirement in life, as some would have you believe.

SD48277 said:

RKCNDY said:

STOP CALLING! You have called 3 times in the last 90 minutes...

I'm just trying to get your attention.

you know I will answer the phone if you call...and that means something.

RKCNDY said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

PJ_Soul said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

samjam said:

I knew this was coming sooner or later...just had my first friend (that isn't mormon or an orthodox jew) announce her engagement and pregnancy (a double whammy)! Weird I'm about that age now that I'll be seeing more and more of this. Maybe just strange to me as I am in NO place ready for, or even want, those things. Happy for her nonetheless, but it took me by surprise! As The Boss says, "Oooohhhh, growin upppp"

I'm frequently getting reminders of how little I've accomplished in my life as all the people I was in school with get married and have babies! I'm also 4 years worse off than you haha

Just keep in mind that marriage and having kids is not necessarily the end all and be all of life, despite what much of society likes to dictate. I am 39 and neither married nor a mother, and I don't at all feel that I have accomplished little in life. If getting married and having kids is something you want to do, great, but don't drink the Kool-Aid. It is not a requirement in life, as some would have you believe.

I don't necessarily believe in marriage but I do want kids

You can always adopt...there are plenty of single women that adopt children because they have that 'nurture' feeling and want kids, but don't want to marry one.

She could also actually get pregnant and not have a husband, which is actually cheaper and easier than adoption. Plus, I don't think it's that hard for a single person to adopt unless they have a lot of money.

RKCNDY said:

STOP CALLING! You have called 3 times in the last 90 minutes...

I'm sorry, was I bothering you?

The beauty of internet..really not a sarcastic remark...

PJ_Soul said:

RKCNDY said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

PJ_Soul said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

samjam said:

I knew this was coming sooner or later...just had my first friend (that isn't mormon or an orthodox jew) announce her engagement and pregnancy (a double whammy)! Weird I'm about that age now that I'll be seeing more and more of this. Maybe just strange to me as I am in NO place ready for, or even want, those things. Happy for her nonetheless, but it took me by surprise! As The Boss says, "Oooohhhh, growin upppp"

I'm frequently getting reminders of how little I've accomplished in my life as all the people I was in school with get married and have babies! I'm also 4 years worse off than you haha

Just keep in mind that marriage and having kids is not necessarily the end all and be all of life, despite what much of society likes to dictate. I am 39 and neither married nor a mother, and I don't at all feel that I have accomplished little in life. If getting married and having kids is something you want to do, great, but don't drink the Kool-Aid. It is not a requirement in life, as some would have you believe.

I don't necessarily believe in marriage but I do want kids

You can always adopt...there are plenty of single women that adopt children because they have that 'nurture' feeling and want kids, but don't want to marry one.

She could also actually get pregnant and not have a husband, which is actually cheaper and easier than adoption. Plus, I don't think it's that hard for a single person to adopt unless they have a lot of money.

jnimhaoileoin said:

PJ_Soul said:

RKCNDY said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

PJ_Soul said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

samjam said:

I knew this was coming sooner or later...just had my first friend (that isn't mormon or an orthodox jew) announce her engagement and pregnancy (a double whammy)! Weird I'm about that age now that I'll be seeing more and more of this. Maybe just strange to me as I am in NO place ready for, or even want, those things. Happy for her nonetheless, but it took me by surprise! As The Boss says, "Oooohhhh, growin upppp"

I'm frequently getting reminders of how little I've accomplished in my life as all the people I was in school with get married and have babies! I'm also 4 years worse off than you haha

Just keep in mind that marriage and having kids is not necessarily the end all and be all of life, despite what much of society likes to dictate. I am 39 and neither married nor a mother, and I don't at all feel that I have accomplished little in life. If getting married and having kids is something you want to do, great, but don't drink the Kool-Aid. It is not a requirement in life, as some would have you believe.

I don't necessarily believe in marriage but I do want kids

You can always adopt...there are plenty of single women that adopt children because they have that 'nurture' feeling and want kids, but don't want to marry one.

She could also actually get pregnant and not have a husband, which is actually cheaper and easier than adoption. Plus, I don't think it's that hard for a single person to adopt unless they have a lot of money.

Yeah I see turkey basters in my future

Adopting is not only difficult but you also have to go and procure a child from a foreign country, which I wouldn't be too keen on!

This might come out as heartless, but I'm guessing that you ladies have not actually adopted since you said that you don't have kids.

Allow me to dispel some rumors. How is it that I can do this? Well, we adopted our daughter.
1. Getting pregnant is not necessarily cheaper and easier. There are those of us who suffered loss and almost died. Tally up doctors visits and hospital bills for a normal, healthy pregnancy. I would bet that they cost a lot more than what we paid-- gas money to drive 20 minutes away for classes and parking. All told, that cost was probably well less than $75. Yes, a baby for $75 or less. She was a day and a half old when she came to be with us.
2. You don't need to go to a foreign country. Whether you live in the states, Canada, Ireland or elsewhere, there are babies and children who need loving homes. I'm not saying that there aren't foreign aid needs. I had "friends" go head to head with us on adoption. It was some game for them to do it better and bigger than us. (It wasn't a competition for us, but it was for them.) They adopted internationally. That international adoption took them to Haiti to "pick out" a child, then because of political unrest, they couldn't bring her home. (Despite having told her so.) They ended up flying to Ethiopia for a week and a half to bring Lewi home. Tally up all of the costs of their flights back and forth to Haiti and to Ethiopia, passports, accommodations, processing . . . and in the states, just because you adopted out of the country you have to have that child in your home for 6 months and go through an official adoption here. Oh yes, don't forget lawyer fees.

We had none of that. We adopted from the county south of us. K was cocaine positive at birth and born to a homeless, drug addicted prostitute. Because she is termed as a "special needs child" with the state, they covered all of the costs of adoption. Taking the classes through the county was free-- something that my friend paid thousands for just to have complete over the course of two weekends.

How is K? She is wonderful and beautiful and smart and SHE IS OURS. Why do I say that? Because a lot of people think that drug babies are throw aways. They aren't. She is a great student, earning the President's Education Award last year-- the highest honor you can receive in elementary. (With a letter from President Obama.) She played harp all year last year. She is studying violin this year. She loves soccer, swimming and archery.

Just a lil education from a mama who has been there.

Single parent adoption occurs every day. There are wee ones out there who need loving homes and they live all over the world. We just need to grab them up, even if one by one, to hug on them and give them the life that they deserve.

Stepping down from my soapbox. Sorry. A bit passionate about adoption.

samjam said:

I knew this was coming sooner or later...just had my first friend (that isn't mormon or an orthodox jew) announce her engagement and pregnancy (a double whammy)! Weird I'm about that age now that I'll be seeing more and more of this. Maybe just strange to me as I am in NO place ready for, or even want, those things. Happy for her nonetheless, but it took me by surprise! As The Boss says, "Oooohhhh, growin upppp"

i SO hear you on that one! i'm 25, so there are quite a few girls from my high school class who are married with (multiple) kids, which there is nothing wrong with at all! i'm just no where near that point. my boyfriend and i have been dating a year and a half and we still need to move in with eachother.

deadendp said:

PJ_Soul said:

RKCNDY said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

PJ_Soul said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

samjam said:

I knew this was coming sooner or later...just had my first friend (that isn't mormon or an orthodox jew) announce her engagement and pregnancy (a double whammy)! Weird I'm about that age now that I'll be seeing more and more of this. Maybe just strange to me as I am in NO place ready for, or even want, those things. Happy for her nonetheless, but it took me by surprise! As The Boss says, "Oooohhhh, growin upppp"

I'm frequently getting reminders of how little I've accomplished in my life as all the people I was in school with get married and have babies! I'm also 4 years worse off than you haha

Just keep in mind that marriage and having kids is not necessarily the end all and be all of life, despite what much of society likes to dictate. I am 39 and neither married nor a mother, and I don't at all feel that I have accomplished little in life. If getting married and having kids is something you want to do, great, but don't drink the Kool-Aid. It is not a requirement in life, as some would have you believe.

I don't necessarily believe in marriage but I do want kids

You can always adopt...there are plenty of single women that adopt children because they have that 'nurture' feeling and want kids, but don't want to marry one.

She could also actually get pregnant and not have a husband, which is actually cheaper and easier than adoption. Plus, I don't think it's that hard for a single person to adopt unless they have a lot of money.

jnimhaoileoin said:

PJ_Soul said:

RKCNDY said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

PJ_Soul said:

jnimhaoileoin said:

samjam said:

I knew this was coming sooner or later...just had my first friend (that isn't mormon or an orthodox jew) announce her engagement and pregnancy (a double whammy)! Weird I'm about that age now that I'll be seeing more and more of this. Maybe just strange to me as I am in NO place ready for, or even want, those things. Happy for her nonetheless, but it took me by surprise! As The Boss says, "Oooohhhh, growin upppp"

I'm frequently getting reminders of how little I've accomplished in my life as all the people I was in school with get married and have babies! I'm also 4 years worse off than you haha

Just keep in mind that marriage and having kids is not necessarily the end all and be all of life, despite what much of society likes to dictate. I am 39 and neither married nor a mother, and I don't at all feel that I have accomplished little in life. If getting married and having kids is something you want to do, great, but don't drink the Kool-Aid. It is not a requirement in life, as some would have you believe.

I don't necessarily believe in marriage but I do want kids

You can always adopt...there are plenty of single women that adopt children because they have that 'nurture' feeling and want kids, but don't want to marry one.

She could also actually get pregnant and not have a husband, which is actually cheaper and easier than adoption. Plus, I don't think it's that hard for a single person to adopt unless they have a lot of money.

Yeah I see turkey basters in my future

Adopting is not only difficult but you also have to go and procure a child from a foreign country, which I wouldn't be too keen on!

This might come out as heartless, but I'm guessing that you ladies have not actually adopted since you said that you don't have kids.

Allow me to dispel some rumors. How is it that I can do this? Well, we adopted our daughter.
1. Getting pregnant is not necessarily cheaper and easier. There are those of us who suffered loss and almost died. Tally up doctors visits and hospital bills for a normal, healthy pregnancy. I would bet that they cost a lot more than what we paid-- gas money to drive 20 minutes away for classes and parking. All told, that cost was probably well less than $75. Yes, a baby for $75 or less. She was a day and a half old when she came to be with us.
2. You don't need to go to a foreign country. Whether you live in the states, Canada, Ireland or elsewhere, there are babies and children who need loving homes. I'm not saying that there aren't foreign aid needs. I had "friends" go head to head with us on adoption. It was some game for them to do it better and bigger than us. (It wasn't a competition for us, but it was for them.) They adopted internationally. That international adoption took them to Haiti to "pick out" a child, then because of political unrest, they couldn't bring her home. (Despite having told her so.) They ended up flying to Ethiopia for a week and a half to bring Lewi home. Tally up all of the costs of their flights back and forth to Haiti and to Ethiopia, passports, accommodations, processing . . . and in the states, just because you adopted out of the country you have to have that child in your home for 6 months and go through an official adoption here. Oh yes, don't forget lawyer fees.

We had none of that. We adopted from the county south of us. K was cocaine positive at birth and born to a homeless, drug addicted prostitute. Because she is termed as a "special needs child" with the state, they covered all of the costs of adoption. Taking the classes through the county was free-- something that my friend paid thousands for just to have complete over the course of two weekends.

How is K? She is wonderful and beautiful and smart and SHE IS OURS. Why do I say that? Because a lot of people think that drug babies are throw aways. They aren't. She is a great student, earning the President's Education Award last year-- the highest honor you can receive in elementary. (With a letter from President Obama.) She played harp all year last year. She is studying violin this year. She loves soccer, swimming and archery.

Just a lil education from a mama who has been there.

Single parent adoption occurs every day. There are wee ones out there who need loving homes and they live all over the world. We just need to grab them up, even if one by one, to hug on them and give them the life that they deserve.

Stepping down from my soapbox. Sorry. A bit passionate about adoption.

Thanks for sharing It is very different in Ireland though. To the best of my knowledge, it's incredible rare, if not impossible to adopt an Irish baby. Those who are abandoned or given up (again extremely rare) may not be adopted, only fostered.

Then attempting to adopt as a single parent would just be out of the question here.

So glad it worked out for you but can't see adoption being an option for me