I'm having a hard time coming down from the show in Baltimore yesterday, and frankly don't think I will for a while. I'm amazed at how something that was once a dream actually came true last night. And Pearl Jam has no idea just how goddamn happy they have made me.
The past couple years have been filled with some pretty scary darkness for me between a nasty bout with depression and the unexpected passing of my father. Pearl Jam's music has helped me greatly throughout, and has given me strength in moving forward and keeping my head held high. So fortunate to have this band in my life.
When I heard PJ was coming to Baltimore (I go to school in MD, adding to the holy crap-ness of all this coming together) on my birthday, I was freaking out. A million thoughts were running through my head, but I knew I had to be there, and I had to be front row.
Fast forward to 6:45 AM yesterday, 4th person in line, with my "IT'S MY 21ST B'DAY" sign in tow. The waiting was so worthwhile once I touched that rail in front of Jeff.
(To copy a bit from what I wrote in the Bmore set thread):
Now, for the unbelievable: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhCAqSwtvdM (<-- THANK YOU FOR FILMING THIS, MIKE!) The band all definitely saw my sign before Ed spoke to me. Ed nodded right when he came out. Mike was super interactive with me, and when he first saw my sign, mouthed Happy Birthday to me. He also told me Happy Birthday again at another point when we made eye contact. Got a pick early on from him--way cool. Lots of smiles after that. Also, funny thing that happened: I'm really short, so the rail covered up most of my shirt. I was wanting to show Mike I was wearing my Team Gleason shirt, so at one point I pulled up my shirt a little and pointed..."Team Gleason" still wasn't high up enough for him to see cause I'm so short, so he gave me a really confused look. Realized this, had to pull the shirt up a tiny bit more and then Mike gave me an "ohhhhh, ok, nice!" sorta look, big smile, and nod.
So encore 1 comes, and since the lights are on, I have my sign up (I didn't want to be victim of "don't you think you oughta lay your sign down" a la Brooklyn 2, so I only held it up occasionally) Eddie points to me and wishes a me a happy 21st birthday. Speechless. Time froze right there...my hero publicly acknowledging me. There were many "oh my god"'s and many "holy fucking shit"'s After that, Mike came over to me and threw me a pin of his that had a neat looking tree on it. That was way cool (also caught it left handed with some of my cat-like reflexes). Knowing that the possibility of wine from Ed on my birthday could actually be a thing, before the show I asked someone nearby if they could grab me an empty cup on their beer run. So glad I did. After Ed wished me a happy birthday, I held up my cup, and he gave me a damn generous 1/2 cup full of his wine. Which, by the way, was delicious! Points to the bottle, which actually had '21' on it (PS: if you were the woman Ed gave the bottle to when he was done with it, and have a picture of it, I'd love to have a copy of a picture!) and said, "Pretty good, huh?" Unbelievable. Also, I bet it was super duper cute to see sweaty, shakey, overly excited, and a bit emotionally confused me on the big screen basically spill wine down the side of my mouth upon first sip. But was cool to get a fist pump after holding my cup up in cheers to the band from Jeff!
Evening wasn't over yet, though: the shout-out/wine thing was probably the greatest moment of my life. But, another extremely meaningful moment happened somewhere around Nothingman that's right up there with everything wine related. Hearing Man of the Hour, a song that holds an intense amount of meaning for me. It was really, really difficult for me. It's strange...hearing Come Back in Hartford on Friday was difficult for me too, I actually broke down a bit and was full-on crying. But for MOTH yesterday, I was just kinda numb and listening, with tears welled up in my eyes. I was so moved and amazed by the song's beauty live, and truly felt my dad was with me. After Man of the Hour, I was shaken up. At one point, somewhere around Nothingman, Ed and I made eye contact, and I mouthed, "Thank you for that last song, thank you so much for Man of the Hour," and he nodded to me. Tears welled up...incredible.
Then, during Porch, Ed made a beeline to me, pointed and smiled to me, and motioned for me to give him my glass. More wine = more happiness
And then grand finale, during RITFW, Ed threw one of his first tambo's to me. My holy grail of concert items: an EV tambourine.
I haven't been able to stop smiling. It's been a while since I've been this genuinely happy. Its moments like these that make all the tough shit you have to go through in life SO worth it. This band has given so much to not only me, but to so many others who use their incredible music as a tool in navigating this crazy life. The band has NO idea the impact these acts made on me and I will never forget 10/27/13. I hope I get to thank each and every band member at some point in the future for the most memorable night ever! Speechless and grateful.
There's no shortage of heart warming stories related to this band. I'm so happy for you!
Hi Sam,
Happy 21st Birthday! Thankyou for sharing your story with us all. I am delighted for you and so proud of this band, that we all love so much, for giving you such an unforgettable experience for your 'coming of age' birthday. I can't help back think back to myself as a young woman at the same age (1998) and what this band meant for me in my teens, and still today. PJ, and all the 'Seattle Sound' bands were so incredibly important because, as a girl, I could feel included as a fan of the band without having to feel like these bands would only value me as a 'breast-baring groupie'. We could dress like the boys in our jeans and flannel, and be valued for ourselves. 23 years on I see PJ's respect and reverence for women and girls ever deepening and unfolding.
So, I raise a toast to you Sam and share in your sentiment: "Pearl Jam's music has helped me greatly throughout, and has given me strength in moving forward and keeping my head held high. So fortunate to have this band in my life"
I haven't been able to concentrate since Sunday night....it's all such a big, beautiful blur. I've watched the video about 10,000 times to make sure its real and not a dream. Grateful doesn't even begin to cover it.
Another cool moment I forgot to add:
Alive has been kinda a weird song for me to sing along to live since my dad's passing, but just like the song has taken turns over the years for Ed, it took a turn for me last night. I screamed the shit out of that song and meant every word and was just so damn happy to be alive. Ed's been talking a lot about the fragility of life recently, something I can relate to deeply. So thankful I made it another year. It was truly beautiful. At one point, while singing, "I'm still alive" I held up the sign again and pointed, and Ed gave me a smile.
Post edited by samjam on
"Sometimes you find yourself having to put all your faith in no faith."
~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2 2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
your title couldn't have said it better. happy birthday! congrats!
Beavis: All my friends are brown and red? What does that mean?
Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
Butthead: Huh huh.
Comments
Happy 21st Birthday! Thankyou for sharing your story with us all. I am delighted for you and so proud of this band, that we all love so much, for giving you such an unforgettable experience for your 'coming of age' birthday. I can't help back think back to myself as a young woman at the same age (1998) and what this band meant for me in my teens, and still today. PJ, and all the 'Seattle Sound' bands were so incredibly important because, as a girl, I could feel included as a fan of the band without having to feel like these bands would only value me as a 'breast-baring groupie'. We could dress like the boys in our jeans and flannel, and be valued for ourselves. 23 years on I see PJ's respect and reverence for women and girls ever deepening and unfolding.
So, I raise a toast to you Sam and share in your sentiment: "Pearl Jam's music has helped me greatly throughout, and has given me strength in moving forward and keeping my head held high. So fortunate to have this band in my life"
I haven't been able to concentrate since Sunday night....it's all such a big, beautiful blur. I've watched the video about 10,000 times to make sure its real and not a dream. Grateful doesn't even begin to cover it.
Another cool moment I forgot to add:
Alive has been kinda a weird song for me to sing along to live since my dad's passing, but just like the song has taken turns over the years for Ed, it took a turn for me last night. I screamed the shit out of that song and meant every word and was just so damn happy to be alive. Ed's been talking a lot about the fragility of life recently, something I can relate to deeply. So thankful I made it another year. It was truly beautiful. At one point, while singing, "I'm still alive" I held up the sign again and pointed, and Ed gave me a smile.
~not a dude~
2010: MSGx2
2012: Made In America
2013: Pittsburgh, Brooklynx2, Hartford, Baltimore
2014: Leeds, Milton Keynes, Detroit
2015: Global Citizen Festival
2016: Phillyx2, MSGx2, Fenwayx2
2018: Barcelona, Wrigleyx2
Butthead: It means that his friends are like turds and that they like suck.
Beavis: Heh heh. Oh yeah. Yeah! Get those spoons out of my face before I shove them up your butt!
Butthead: Huh huh.