Sooooo, Jesus Christ didn't really exist???

Jason P wrote:

He's real. He built my hot rod.

he stole my girlfriend too.

dignin wrote:

catefrances wrote:

Jason P wrote:

He's real. He built my hot rod.

he stole my girlfriend too.

made me think of this great song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhkHG-oKCEU

this is what was in my head

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JlCr59LN3U

If Jesus doesn't exist then these song/poems I wrote are pointless. Jesus had a split personality. Here we see the beleaguered, martyred Jesus:

Jesus was More Popular than Guns

A homeless man stands
In the dust of a freeway onramp.
With head bowed and hands folded,
He thinks to himself
And prays to his god saying
It’s time to get out of here.

The eye as camera pans fast
Passing on its way to gas or
Something more delectable.
There’s no time to stop and think
About anything as trivial
As a lost cause.

Jesus was more popular than guns
So said the polls, five to one.
At the feet of Pontius Pilate
He could have saved himself with
The arsenal he’d brought along.
But he saw that Pilot had a dog

And he belong to the SPCA
And to the ASPCA
And the FoA and the IDA
And he broke bread with PITA
And turned water into wine with SWAT
And he knew Pilate's dog might get caught

In the blaze of cross fire.

And he hung around a while.

And the crowd settled down.

And the sound of marching feet
Moved in slowly from the west.

And the Shiny Purple Metallic Armor
That gave its people no rest
Put the vote to a test and called

For a recount of anyone left.
And the judge sat on his cushion
And announced the decision was
Made. “Hear ye, hear ye,
It is by decree of the jury that hence force
It shall be recognized that Jesus
Is no longer more popular than guns!

And here, the gun toting redneck Jesus:

Billboard Jesus

Jesus was a logger-dude
He worked out in the woods
Wore flannel shirts with halos ‘round
The ankles of his boots.


Jesus was a lager-dude
Turned water into beer
When loaves and fishes weren’t enough
He’d go out and shoot a deer


Jesus was a lodger, dude,
He stayed in a motel
Just down the road from Maggie’s bar
Where drifters came and went from hell


Logger Dude
Logger Dude
Logger Dude
Logger Dude

DriftingByTheStorm wrote:

This is a great hypothesis but it is no more self-consistent than most theories of the origins of JC and bible stories.

If the Romans (or a Roman elite cabal) created Christianity by writing the very stories themselves, why did they then PERSECUTE AND MURDER CHRISTIANS FOR OVER THREE HUNDRED YEARS?

???

They were just keepin' it real, yo.

drowned out wrote:

Really man? Is there any comment pertaining to Jews that people won't get offended by? Seriously, I'm surprised no one has called Bentley an anti-semite yet for his joke
The comment is that they were constantly rebeling against and fighting the roman empire. That's pretty badass in my books.

Offended? You presume quite a bit. I would have thought including a Simpsons reference in my sentence would have conveyed my lack of emotional intensity but I guess I was wrong. Now who's the hypersensitive one on the Jewish topic? :twisted: Regardless, the point isn't whether the characterization itself was a negative or positive one (in your words, "that's pretty badass"), rather that I found it interesting that once again the Jews are taking the blame for a tyrant's woes.

If I read the article correctly, his whole theory is based on two things: 1) the Jews were causing trouble, and 2) Josephus' history was just a little too close to Jesus' prophecies for the author's comfort.

Offtopic -- while Bentley's joke didn't offend me personally, it could easily be argued to be offensive per se. I.e., if a joke about black people was made in a similar manner I doubt it would have been taken so lightly by the crowd.

badbrains wrote:

JimmyV wrote:

DriftingByTheStorm wrote:

This is a great hypothesis but it is no more self-consistent than most theories of the origins of JC and bible stories.

If the Romans (or a Roman elite cabal) created Christianity by writing the very stories themselves, why did they then PERSECUTE AND MURDER CHRISTIANS FOR OVER THREE HUNDRED YEARS?

???

The Roman military industrial complex needed enemies to fight.

Kind of like our military industrial complex of today. You know, the one fucking with all the Muslim countries.

BB:

They have the oil...gotta protect the oil....ah ah I mean they have weapons of mass destrctruction. ...

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

Duh.



Oh and that Easter Bunny thing?

Also fake.

but... but... the chocolate eggs....

Jason P wrote:

catefrances wrote:

Jason P wrote:

He's real. He built my hot rod.

he stole my girlfriend too.

Was she hot? :P

unknown, but she was about to get stoned , if that helps.