Have you lied about how many 'partners' you've had?

mydogmookieblaylock wrote:

i just always say "i don't know" which isn't really i lie - i mean i could take the time to figure it out but .....

best answer yet & who wants to forget and leave a few out of the calculation hurting feelings and shit?

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

fife wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

I think asking is just opening the door for him to lie. If a guy has a sexual history that would make me worry about getting STDs, he's not going to tell me about it. All you have to do to keep safe is ask him to get tested. How many partners he's had in the past is irrelevant. That doesn't need to be a part of the conversation. No one should EVER trust someone who says they're safe, they haven't slept with anyone in a year and have been tested since, etc anyway. So why ask? The answer would be irrelevant. They should get tested either way if you're looking for peace of mind.

JonnyPistachio wrote:

fife wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

Thats a good point. I recall one girlfriend who never told me a number, but through hearing her stories, I thought and pondered and lost sleep over how to ask her to get tested. She never got tested, and nothing has fallen off on me or changed colors (yet)... but it scared me for quite awhile.

So, when it comes to your partner, it should be for safety to be accurate. But people lie to their friends all the time just to look cooler (guys, ive seen it a million times)or less like a promiscuous party girl. I had one girlfriend tell me she had 8..then a few months later she admitted it was 22. She just didnt want to look slutty at age 22. That number didnt really bother me, the two abortions did though.

Ive never been good at discussing getting tested, and I assume its not easy for everyone to have that conversation.

Again, what makes you trust what they are telling you?? Never trust that number, and never base you decision to ask someone to get STD tested before you sleep with them without protection on what they are telling you. Doesn't matter how smitten you are. People lie about that shit all the time.

mca47 wrote:

fife wrote:

PJ_Soul wrote:

I don't think it's a good idea to get into the topic at all, on the sexual level. Don't ask, don't tell is generally my policy on that one. It's the safest bet, because you just never know when it might go bad somehow, depending on who you're dealing with.

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

I think for safety reasons you have to trust them no matter what.

:shock: Is that a typo?

fife wrote:

I don't know if you should not ask. I am thinking about this as a health issue. I once was asked how many people i have slept with without protection. that for me was a great question.

I do believe that the reason why a person ask it should not be for just keeping score.

I'm not sure if asking about it will really make a difference. I was an HIV educator in the 90s and found that people's behaviors will surprise you to say the least. People don't always change their history to be deceitful; sometimes they meet somebody they really care for and manage to "forget" things that they don't want to acknowledge. We expect guys to brag or exaggerate the number of partners they've had but I discovered that young men had started to claim that they were virgins to get girls to be more trusting. That one flabbergasted me but I learned about it from several sources.

If you don't feel comfortable having the discussion about getting tested, insist on using protection all the time, every time. If you want to ask the other person to get tested, you'd better be willing to do the same. Go to testing together and get your results at the same time. Anyone can fib that they've been tested but if you face each other after you've gotten your results, it will be hard for most people to hide what they've learned.

How you handle the relationship post-test is another story.

Mamasan23 wrote:

Ha. Hahhahahhhahha



Hahhaahahhaha


Carry on.

I once asked a boyfriend the question while drunk, and as a joke he said 287, and I started crying. :fp: So at the very least, don't ask when you're drunk.

PJ_Soul wrote:

Mamasan23 wrote:

Ha. Hahhahahhhahha



Hahhaahahhaha


Carry on.

I once asked a boyfriend the question while drunk, and as a joke he said 287, and I started crying. :fp: So at the very least, don't ask when you're drunk.

Haha whoops! I have never once asked a dude his number. I don't want to know..as long as he's healthy, ya know? So its none of their business either. A dude hung up on your number isn't worth the effort imo