'You Deserve Rape' sign causes controversy on UA campus

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  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    redrock wrote:
    As you say hedonist, what one may consider a lack of modesty (by who's standard?) or lack of 'understanding men' is NEVER an open invitation to rape. NEVER.
    Smart woman ;)
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    redrock wrote:
    Dark recesses of hedonist's fantasies!!! :lol:;)

    Modesty? Guess that means for a 'smart' woman dressing and behaving 'appropriately'? Like keeping your tits comfortably in and having a skirt/dress longer than mid-thigh? Or is that not modest enough?

    Understanding men? Would that mean for a 'smart' woman to 'understand' that men can't resist temptation? That they are all rapists in the making if the 'smart' woman is not modest? Hmmmm.... the 'smart' woman knows not to tempt the weak man who has no will... I've heard that excuse for women to cover up somewhere....

    As you say hedonist, what one may consider a lack of modesty (by who's standard?) or lack of 'understanding men' is NEVER an open invitation to rape. NEVER.

    heres the issue I have with so called rape fantasies. and I speak only of my own personal feelings. I used to get turned on by the thought of being taken by force... but then I realised that at some point I would relent and allow the man to take what he wanted. but then I figured out that if I didn't 'allow' him to 'take' what he wanted thered be no sex in what ever mode that took place. and I started to wondering if this was in fact a rape fantasy. I knew that if somebody really attacked me and forced themselves upon me without my consent then thered be no fantasy there... but itd certainly be a very serious violation of my person. so I figured as much as I liked a high level of force and an equally high level of rough sex, any rape fantasy I had wasn't really a rape fantasy but some sort of safe sexual play where i had a level of control thatd be absent from a legitimate rape.
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  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    hedonist wrote:
    When I talk of modesty, I guess I personalize it. It doesn't necessarily equate to sexuality but in...hell, I'm not sure how to describe it - putting it all out there? What I was getting at was whether or not I choose to do that isn't tantamount to my yelling "come & get it!"

    Hope that makes sense.


    oh absolutely. heres a little anecdote id like to share that had me thinking about modesty/sexuality/blah blah blah...

    last month i went to a gig wearing a revealing top. on this particular occasion this guy struck up a conversation with me and we made plans to meet up. at the time it amused me cause usually when i go see a band i wear a tshirt where no cleavage is on display. and i couldn't help but think was his attention drawn to me cause i was more 'on display' than i usually am. then i started to think whether i had dressed revealingly for the specific purpose of attracting attention. i came to the conclusion that fuck men i like my boob and i wanted to give them some air.... but still the incident had me thinking. im also planning on testing my theory more. ;)8-)
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  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    catefrances wrote:
    .... any rape fantasy I had wasn't really a rape fantasy but some sort of safe sexual play where i had a level of control thatd be absent from a legitimate rape.

    Thus it being a 'fantasy' and usually kept as such.
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    redrock wrote:
    catefrances wrote:
    .... any rape fantasy I had wasn't really a rape fantasy but some sort of safe sexual play where i had a level of control thatd be absent from a legitimate rape.

    Thus it being a 'fantasy' and usually kept as such.

    but that's the thing... i cant see it as a rape, even in fantasy if i cant give up all my control to the 'rapist'. i see it as kinda fake. my feigning consent(for the 'fantasy') by half heartedly crying no no stop negates any feeling i get from it being a rape fantasy. i apologise im finding this difficult to articulate.
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  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    No... I understand what you mean cate. You're still in control, the power is still with you. Whereas 'for real', the control and power is with the rapist.

    Thus I believe saying a woman is asking for it by the way she dresses is just an excuse, a deflection on the urge for control that the rapist needs to establish over his victim. If it were purely a sexual 'attraction' thing, lots of women wouldn't get raped (though I do understand that men can find many different kinds of women of all ages and sizes attractive). It's not about attraction but power and control. Claiming that women are 'asking for it' by the way they dress or act is just a plain lie.
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    redrock wrote:
    No... I understand what you mean cate. You're still in control, the power is still with you. Whereas 'for real', the control and power is with the rapist.

    Thus I believe saying a woman is asking for it by the way she dresses is just an excuse, a deflection on the urge for control that the rapist needs to establish over his victim. If it were purely a sexual 'attraction' thing, lots of women wouldn't get raped (though I do understand that men can find many different kinds of women of all ages and sizes attractive). It's not about attraction but power and control. Claiming that women are 'asking for it' by the way they dress or act is just a plain lie.


    I've been told this my whole life, i disagree it's as black and white as that.
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    redrock wrote:
    No... I understand what you mean cate. You're still in control, the power is still with you. Whereas 'for real', the control and power is with the rapist.

    Thus I believe saying a woman is asking for it by the way she dresses is just an excuse, a deflection on the urge for control that the rapist needs to establish over his victim. If it were purely a sexual 'attraction' thing, lots of women wouldn't get raped (though I do understand that men can find many different kinds of women of all ages and sizes attractive). It's not about attraction but power and control. Claiming that women are 'asking for it' by the way they dress or act is just a plain lie.


    a lie? no an excuse? no. its horseshit is what it is redrock. ;)8-)


    im thinking my sexual proclivities preclude the possibility of rape fantasy.
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  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    BinauralJam wrote:
    It's not about attraction but power and control. - Note: Oops.. quoting went wrong. I said that and you responded to it!

    I've been told this my whole life, i disagree it's as black and white as that.

    I'm sure there's sexual gratification as well and I'm sure it's not as black and white as that but rape is control. Control over women that maybe the rapist would never be able to 'have', etc. See also how rape is used to subdue in warfare. Power over someone.
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    redrock wrote:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    It's not about attraction but power and control. - Note: Oops.. quoting went wrong. I said that and you responded to it!

    I've been told this my whole life, i disagree it's as black and white as that.

    I'm sure there's sexual gratification as well and I'm sure it's not as black and white as that but rape is control. Control over women that maybe the rapist would never be able to 'have', etc. See also how rape is used to subdue in warfare. Power over someone.


    This is excellent, i'm going to show this post to my wife tonight, we've had long heated arguments about this. You make both my point and hers, we'll probably end up in an fight but i cant let her win them all.
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    redrock wrote:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    It's not about attraction but power and control. - Note: Oops.. quoting went wrong. I said that and you responded to it!

    I've been told this my whole life, i disagree it's as black and white as that.

    I'm sure there's sexual gratification as well and I'm sure it's not as black and white as that but rape is control. Control over women that maybe the rapist would never be able to 'have', etc. See also how rape is used to subdue in warfare. Power over someone.


    i also think there is a certain amount of attraction towards the victim for the rapist though not necessarily the same kind as a non rapist would feel for someone. there has to be something to draw them to their victim... what that is, i do not know.
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  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    BinauralJam wrote:
    redrock wrote:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    It's not about attraction but power and control. - Note: Oops.. quoting went wrong. I said that and you responded to it!

    I've been told this my whole life, i disagree it's as black and white as that.

    I'm sure there's sexual gratification as well and I'm sure it's not as black and white as that but rape is control. Control over women that maybe the rapist would never be able to 'have', etc. See also how rape is used to subdue in warfare. Power over someone.


    This is excellent, i'm going to show this post to my wife tonight, we've had long heated arguments about this. You make both my point and hers, we'll probably end up in an fight but i cant let her win them all.

    Nooooo! I don't want to cause any marital discord!

    As to catefrances' post about attraction. What would attract the rapist? A 'type' of woman that the rapist may subconsciously have an issue with (eg one having a a blonde dump him and goes on raping blonds - again the 'power' over them he did not have with the one dumping him)? Opportunity to subdue/overpower a victim? I don't know - not my field of expertise! Still control... Therefore suggesting that it's the woman's fault (or partly) because of how she looks is just plain......... horseshit (as catefrances puts it!).
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    It's o.k. Red, my wife maintains Rape has nothing to do with Sex. My Argument, then why does it take a sexual act, why aren't rapists instead just beating the crap out of random people they find attractive to prove there dominance, but your post makes a good point in showing that both can be true.
  • catefrances
    catefrances Posts: 29,003
    BinauralJam wrote:
    It's o.k. Red, my wife maintains Rape has nothing to do with Sex. My Argument, then why does it take a sexual act, why aren't rapists instead just beating the crap out of random people they find attractive to prove there dominance, but your post makes a good point in showing that both can be true.

    penis = knife. its a weapon. im sure you've heard the saying that all lesbians need is a good fuck... or let me at her ill fuck it out of her. that is violence. violence = power.
    hear my name
    take a good look
    this could be the day
    hold my hand
    lie beside me
    i just need to say
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    catefrances wrote:
    BinauralJam wrote:
    It's o.k. Red, my wife maintains Rape has nothing to do with Sex. My Argument, then why does it take a sexual act, why aren't rapists instead just beating the crap out of random people they find attractive to prove there dominance, but your post makes a good point in showing that both can be true.

    penis = knife. its a weapon. im sure you've heard the saying that all lesbians need is a good fuck... or let me at her ill fuck it out of her. that is violence. violence = power.


    I've never raped anyone, but i've thought about it in a sexually fantasy way, because i wanted to fuck that person.
    I don't remember thinking about having power over the girl or using my dick as a knife, but i do remember thinking, how good would it feel to hold this girl down and fuck her right now. Which i think is totally sexual and maybe only a little violent.
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    Rape is the ultimate violation Binaural. Beating up someone will not be at the same level of violation and dominance. Look at what are considered sex crimes (murders) where the victim's (male or female) sexual 'bits' (vagina/womb/breasts/penis/anus) are mutilated. It would seem that most of the times this has nothing to do with sexual gratification (ie the person doing it 'having his jollies and ejaculating'). Strange stuff. Maybe some rapists may get some sort of sexual release/gratification but it would maybe not be what 'normal' people would consider Sex (eg a couple having mutually gratifying intercourse). For me, sex ('real' sex) and rape don't go together.
  • redrock
    redrock Posts: 18,341
    edited April 2013
    BinauralJam wrote:
    I've never raped anyone, but i've thought about it in a sexually fantasy way, because i wanted to fuck that person.
    I don't remember thinking about having power over the girl or using my dick as a knife, but i do remember thinking, how good would it feel to hold this girl down and fuck her right now. Which i think is totally sexual and maybe only a little violent.

    A quite common fantasy - a bit of forceful/rough sex (sometimes not only fantasy ;) ). But in this fantasy, is this woman accepting this force? Is she finding pleasure? Usually these fantasies are 'airbrushed' (for lack of better word). Role play...

    Real rape is not just 'a bit of rough' or role play. It leaves a very traumatised victim who needs to get herself back together again.
    Post edited by redrock on
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    hedonist wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    I love free speech :D

    tolerate rape? many men fantasize about rape ... nice huh?

    Any self respecting woman would understand the importance of modesty.
    Any smart women would understand men.
    Any prepared women would not allow victimization and would fight for their life
    because the very essence of life is what is taken away when they are raped.
    Fuck rapists ... be prepared to die, woman aren't going to stay the weaker sex.
    Many women fantasize about rape as well. It's not in my sexual-thought cache but hell knows there are other things I think about that might send others running; however, I have no desire to act on them. I'd give most men that benefit of the doubt.

    Anyway...parts of your post make no sense to me - I do respect myself and am typically "modest" (read: introverted). But when I choose not to be? It's not an open invitation.

    As to understanding men...I think I do. At least, the decent ones who'd never consider lack of modesty as, again, an open invitation.
    decent ones don't rape
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    Also note that in some cases, rape is done with a foreign object.

    Truly about power. Some sick kind of power, but power nonetheless.
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    pandora wrote:
    hedonist wrote:
    pandora wrote:
    I love free speech :D

    tolerate rape? many men fantasize about rape ... nice huh?

    Any self respecting woman would understand the importance of modesty.
    Any smart women would understand men.
    Any prepared women would not allow victimization and would fight for their life
    because the very essence of life is what is taken away when they are raped.
    Fuck rapists ... be prepared to die, woman aren't going to stay the weaker sex.
    Many women fantasize about rape as well. It's not in my sexual-thought cache but hell knows there are other things I think about that might send others running; however, I have no desire to act on them. I'd give most men that benefit of the doubt.

    Anyway...parts of your post make no sense to me - I do respect myself and am typically "modest" (read: introverted). But when I choose not to be? It's not an open invitation.

    As to understanding men...I think I do. At least, the decent ones who'd never consider lack of modesty as, again, an open invitation.
    decent ones don't rape
    I know this.

    Not to go in circles; my comment was in response to this:
    Any self respecting woman would understand the importance of modesty.
    Any smart women would understand men.

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