Things Men Do... When Women Aren't Around

Wife travels quite a bit. The last time she was gone all weekend I did these:

Fri Night
1. Watched 'The Natural' for the 7,000th time.
2. Dared myself to make the next batch of margaritas *even* stronger. (Yes, I am fully aware that this is sort of a problem. Which is why I do it when she is not around!)
3. Stayed up until 3 in the morning watching movies I didn't remember watching when I stumbled out of bed Sat AM.

Sat
4. Enjoyed total silence and read a book in an afternoon because of the total silence.
5. Grabbed a few Lobsters & a bunch of Mussels when at the market, cooked a massive dinner and had a 2nd consecutive Margarita Challenge Night.
6. Listened to multiple PJ boots consecutively at obscene volume.
7. Ate most of 'her' flavor Ice Cream for snack, directly from the carton and then put it back in the freezer.
8. Drunk called many of my CA friends and annoyed them.

She asked if I missed her. Had to tell her the truth and say 'Not Really.'

F Me In The Brain wrote:

Wife travels quite a bit. The last time she was gone all weekend I did these:

Fri Night
1. Watched 'The Natural' for the 7,000th time.
2. Dared myself to make the next batch of margaritas *even* stronger. (Yes, I am fully aware that this is sort of a problem. Which is why I do it when she is not around!)
3. Stayed up until 3 in the morning watching movies I didn't remember watching when I stumbled out of bed Sat AM.

Sat
4. Enjoyed total silence and read a book in an afternoon because of the total silence.
5. Grabbed a few Lobsters & a bunch of Mussels when at the market, cooked a massive dinner and had a 2nd consecutive Margarita Challenge Night.
6. Listened to multiple PJ boots consecutively at obscene volume.
7. Ate most of 'her' flavor Ice Cream for snack, directly from the carton and then put it back in the freezer.
8. Drunk called many of my CA friends and annoyed them.

She asked if I missed her. Had to tell her the truth and say 'Not Really.'

F Me In The Brain wrote:

Wife travels quite a bit. The last time she was gone all weekend I did these:

Fri Night
1. Watched 'The Natural' for the 7,000th time.
2. Dared myself to make the next batch of margaritas *even* stronger. (Yes, I am fully aware that this is sort of a problem. Which is why I do it when she is not around!)
3. Stayed up until 3 in the morning watching movies I didn't remember watching when I stumbled out of bed Sat AM.

Sat
4. Enjoyed total silence and read a book in an afternoon because of the total silence.
5. Grabbed a few Lobsters & a bunch of Mussels when at the market, cooked a massive dinner and had a 2nd consecutive Margarita Challenge Night.
6. Listened to multiple PJ boots consecutively at obscene volume.
7. Ate most of 'her' flavor Ice Cream for snack, directly from the carton and then put it back in the freezer.
8. Drunk called many of my CA friends and annoyed them.

She asked if I missed her. Had to tell her the truth and say 'Not Really.'

Awesome!
The main reason I'm single was just outlined right here!
Can do what I want when I want...in silence!

81 wrote:

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shep wrote:

JonnyPistachio wrote:

I know, just messing witcha. I know, us literal folks are pricks sometimes.

But thanks for the idea.. off to google "fun with babysitter"

Oddly enough, when I google that, i really didn't get what I was expecting/hoping for from google images...

I was led to believe the internet was used mostly for sharing porn... this google search would lead me to believe people have been giving me the wrong information....

:corn:

turn off safe search

Safe search is off....

I'm so confused... :crazy:

the most interesting picture that comes up on the first 10 pages of images is this:



so I'm gonna stand by my original comment. :P

Nature Lover wrote:

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81 wrote:

gotta admit, when i'm home alone for a few days....

i lounge in my underwear
leave empty beer cans where ever it becomes empty
and some other unmentionable stuff.

You also invite friends over and have whip cream fights! :fp:

Btw, when is the next porch party?

thought it best to leave that out.

talk of a trip to NY around March 9th. :fp: so i dunno...

Sandles in middle of floor, water pitchers all full of wine, bread husks and fish bones all over the place...

I think the obvious choice is a given..

I may get some shit for this from ya'll but,, I act just the same whether she is here or not. Get drunk, crank the vinyl, act a fool, pass out with my clothes on.. She seems to appreciate the honesty of it all..

My advice.. act the way you act, do the shit you do.. If she still marries you, you are set for life

doing it right now