Fanview Berlin I+II and Stockholm (attention: long read)

Stereotype · July 2012

What to say....what to say?

Berlin I - was where it started for me, never heard Long Road before. What a fitting opener. I wished for so long, I cannot stay..Got teary eyes right away. I soaked in every damned note. It almost hurts. The setlist was perfectly balanced for wrecks like me. Was really trying hard not to cry throughout Faitfull and Eldery Woman, lost my mind during Got Some, got all soft again when they played In My Tree, found out I can levitate during State of Love and Trust and then they've put me on the ground with Immortality again. Emotionally up and down, up and down, all around. I must say I absolutely love Unthought known live, that is where I was goosebumped all over. The way music makes me feel. I sure hope everybody can feel like I do. Indifference for the end. Perfect. I couldn't really walk properly after the show but I couldn't sleep either, so I decided to queue early for the next day, despite the exhaustion. (I'd like to mention that people sleep in front of the venues. They sleep on the cold concrete and it is crazy, but so very dedicated thing to do and in that way nice to see.)

Berlin II - Oceans as an opener, fuck yeah! (Pardon my un-lady-like manners). I was front row between Mike and Ed. It is a special feeling being so close, almost seeing the music before it is being played, seeing the fingers' dance on the instruments. Then Breakerfall - only they can break my fall. Hightpoint (if there can ever be just one) - In Hiding, my favourite song. I couldn't hold it back. I cried, laughed, jumped, cried....Sometimes I wonder how sane I really am. Afterwards I feel empty. Released. Freeded. Touched. Opened. Alive! I feel life. I feel me. At peace. A rainbow after the storm...dissolved into something great. I am pretty sure Mike saw me cry, and I don't know if this contributed to anything, but I got two of his picks (white I and black M).Thank you, Mike. Some material to remember the unmaterial.
Apparently Eruption from Van Halen was played?! Was it? I don't remember that at all. Must have been a blast! Somebody fill me in. Sad, Not For You, Present Tense, Down - somebody pinch me. But then they've cut me open. Ripped apart deep inside. Come back. I just cannot handle this song, I can't. I always skip in on the CD. But they played it two meters away from me. Loud and clear. I fell apart. Some things you lock inside. They got the key, come in and light up the hidden corridors. They cure, even tough I sometimes wish the songs wouldn't have such power over me. Lines can cut like a knife and the melodies are like salt on the cut. And they don't do surgeons lines, it's a hand of a butcher. I didn't quite recover from that. Mother kept me in a dark place and Nothingman cemented me in a sort of sad mood. I was a little out for some time then. Was even considering leaving the front row. What I had with me was a peace of linen with Love Reign O'er Me written on it (I didn't cut my hostel linen, I swear). Eddie noded a couple of times and smiled at it. I felt like they are gonna played it. Just when they started Baba O'Riley I start jumping like mad and Eddie points on my sign again (it had a Who sign drawn on it) then he signals that I should throw it to him - I did it (and it is even documented here: from 0:07-0:15 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWOL4i8pFCc. Then during the song he looks for me again and sort of apologizes..like: this is what you're gonna get. It was more than great.I did that three times, though (first, last and never again) - I felt kind of lame requesting a song (that is not theirs in the first place)...it feels a bit disrespectful, perhaps. But as you will see - it was well worth it in the end.
After the show, a German girl asked me to sign the pin I designed for the tour and so many of you wore. I don't think I even made a thing that would be seen by so many people, actually worn and ended up all over our planet. Ha! Thanks for the chance.

The end for me was Stockholm. I knew Stockholm was going to be very special - I used to study there, so it was the next best thing to playing my home country (Slovenia, last played in 2000). I hit the rail again - this time Stone's side. The audience was very mild compared to Berlin, but the atmosphere was great. Very strong sing-along right from the beginning (Eldery W. as an opener). It is just so heart warming when you see all of the people raise their hands and shout Hellooo! I wonder what it looks like from the stage, but it must be beautiful.I was really happy to hear Garden for the first time.Unthought known, always feels just like the first time and All Those Yesterdays, oh my!!Another beautiful moment was when Ed used his guitar to illuminate people in the audience by using the ray of light from the reflector. Off He Goes was touching, 1/2 full was a cherry on top. But second encore was when I hit the roof. LOVE REIGN O'ER ME! Felt like it was just for me. I don't want to say that the sign that landen on stage in Berlin contributed to LROM being played, it doesn't really matter, there it was and what a great version! Hands down! Hands down! I don't believe in heaven but if there is something like it, it must feel something like that. As if that wasn't enough, during Porch Ed comes to our side, pours us some wine and takes my Slovenian flag (on the video from 1:56 on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulNhFZnspUs and then at 6:06 he returns and holds hands...super fitting to the lyrics!

Ah music!It is not precise per se, but how some emotions can be pinpointed, there is just nothing like it. Pearl Jam, you do not know me, but your music touches me in so many ways, too many ways. There is other music but why you touch me so much more than others I cannot comprehend. I guess we are not special and unique as we would want to believe. We are the same and so things that are real can be felt,transcented and applicable to everyone.

Dear Pearl Jam, if only I could return what you're giving me, unknowlingly. If only, you could feel it from me! The memory of the heart, the consciousness of my soul. Thank you for delivering such passionate shows and many thanks to all of the people I've met and shared the experience with.Take care and keep on rockin'!

P.S. I realize now, that this must be a drag to read, but I felt like it was at least what I could do. Share my story, as you share yours, as they reveal theirs - throught the music and lyrics.

charlotta02 · July 2012

Stereotype wrote:

What to say....what to say?

Berlin I - was where it started for me, never heard Long Road before. What a fitting opener. I wished for so long, I cannot stay..Got teary eyes right away. I soaked in every damned note. It almost hurts. The setlist was perfectly balanced for wrecks like me. Was really trying hard not to cry throughout Faitfull and Eldery Woman, lost my mind during Got Some, got all soft again when they played In My Tree, found out I can levitate during State of Love and Trust and then they've put me on the ground with Immortality again. Emotionally up and down, up and down, all around. I must say I absolutely love Unthought known live, that is where I was goosebumped all over. The way music makes me feel. I sure hope everybody can feel like I do. Indifference for the end. Perfect. I couldn't really walk properly after the show but I couldn't sleep either, so I decided to queue early for the next day, despite the exhaustion. (I'd like to mention that people sleep in front of the venues. They sleep on the cold concrete and it is crazy, but so very dedicated thing to do and in that way nice to see.)

Berlin II - Oceans as an opener, fuck yeah! (Pardon my un-lady-like manners). I was front row between Mike and Ed. It is a special feeling being so close, almost seeing the music before it is being played, seeing the fingers' dance on the instruments. Then Breakerfall - only they can break my fall. Hightpoint (if there can ever be just one) - In Hiding, my favourite song. I couldn't hold it back. I cried, laughed, jumped, cried....Sometimes I wonder how sane I really am. Afterwards I feel empty. Released. Freeded. Touched. Opened. Alive! I feel life. I feel me. At peace. A rainbow after the storm...dissolved into something great. I am pretty sure Mike saw me cry, and I don't know if this contributed to anything, but I got two of his picks (white I and black M).Thank you, Mike. Some material to remember the unmaterial.
Apparently Eruption from Van Halen was played?! Was it? I don't remember that at all. Must have been a blast! Somebody fill me in. Sad, Not For You, Present Tense, Down - somebody pinch me. But then they've cut me open. Ripped apart deep inside. Come back. I just cannot handle this song, I can't. I always skip in on the CD. But they played it two meters away from me. Loud and clear. I fell apart. Some things you lock inside. They got the key, come in and light up the hidden corridors. They cure, even tough I sometimes wish the songs wouldn't have such power over me. Lines can cut like a knife and the melodies are like salt on the cut. And they don't do surgeons lines, it's a hand of a butcher. I didn't quite recover from that. Mother kept me in a dark place and Nothingman cemented me in a sort of sad mood. I was a little out for some time then. Was even considering leaving the front row. What I had with me was a peace of linen with Love Reign O'er Me written on it (I didn't cut my hostel linen, I swear). Eddie noded a couple of times and smiled at it. I felt like they are gonna played it. Just when they started Baba O'Riley I start jumping like mad and Eddie points on my sign again (it had a Who sign drawn on it) then he signals that I should throw it to him - I did it (and it is even documented here: from 0:07-0:15 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWOL4i8pFCc. Then during the song he looks for me again and sort of apologizes..like: this is what you're gonna get. It was more than great.I did that three times, though (first, last and never again) - I felt kind of lame requesting a song (that is not theirs in the first place)...it feels a bit disrespectful, perhaps. But as you will see - it was well worth it in the end.
After the show, a German girl asked me to sign the pin I designed for the tour and so many of you wore. I don't think I even made a thing that would be seen by so many people, actually worn and ended up all over our planet. Ha! Thanks for the chance.

The end for me was Stockholm. I knew Stockholm was going to be very special - I used to study there, so it was the next best thing to playing my home country (Slovenia, last played in 2000). I hit the rail again - this time Stone's side. The audience was very mild compared to Berlin, but the atmosphere was great. Very strong sing-along right from the beginning (Eldery W. as an opener). It is just so heart warming when you see all of the people raise their hands and shout Hellooo! I wonder what it looks like from the stage, but it must be beautiful.I was really happy to hear Garden for the first time.Unthought known, always feels just like the first time and All Those Yesterdays, oh my!!Another beautiful moment was when Ed used his guitar to illuminate people in the audience by using the ray of light from the reflector. Off He Goes was touching, 1/2 full was a cherry on top. But second encore was when I hit the roof. LOVE REIGN O'ER ME! Felt like it was just for me. I don't want to say that the sign that landen on stage in Berlin contributed to LROM being played, it doesn't really matter, there it was and what a great version! Hands down! Hands down! I don't believe in heaven but if there is something like it, it must feel something like that. As if that wasn't enough, during Porch Ed comes to our side, pours us some wine and takes my Slovenian flag (on the video from 1:56 on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulNhFZnspUs and then at 6:06 he returns and holds hands...super fitting to the lyrics!

Ah music!It is not precise per se, but how some emotions can be pinpointed, there is just nothing like it. Pearl Jam, you do not know me, but your music touches me in so many ways, too many ways. There is other music but why you touch me so much more than others I cannot comprehend. I guess we are not special and unique as we would want to believe. We are the same and so things that are real can be felt,transcented and applicable to everyone.

Dear Pearl Jam, if only I could return what you're giving me, unknowlingly. If only, you could feel it from me! The memory of the heart, the consciousness of my soul. Thank you for delivering such passionate shows and many thanks to all of the people I've met and shared the experience with.Take care and keep on rockin'!

P.S. I realize now, that this must be a drag to read, but I felt like it was at least what I could do. Share my story, as you share yours, as they reveal theirs - throught the music and lyrics.

Very beautiful words! I was also in Sthlm and you pinpoint it all. Lovely!
I wonder how long this feeling will last..? I wish I could put it in a jar and open it up when needed

dimitrispearljam · July 2012

Sappy113 · July 2012

Damn, that was a great read! The way you put the emotions you share with so many of us into words in those last paragraphs - brilliant!

binaural2002 · July 2012

Thanks for sharing your emotions. It were just 2 great evenings in Berlin!

HF90032 · July 2012

I remember you. you were sitting next to me in the front just before the start of Berlin 2 show. I am the one who had the "sad" sign.

thumbs up, it was very nice to read your story here. thanks for sharing

Stereotype · July 2012

HF90032 wrote:

I remember you. you were sitting next to me in the front just before the start of Berlin 2 show. I am the one who had the "sad" sign.

thumbs up, it was very nice to read your story here. thanks for sharing

I remember you as well.

You had "Sad" and "Breath" signs and the Italian guy was joking that he just hopes they don't play Sad and Breath as those are his least favorite songs

PM sent.

alesek · July 2012

I admit i didnt fight tears during Berlin 1 ... In My Tree, my first Its Ok tag ever, Immortality, Lukin, incredible Rearviewmirror, Hard to Imagine (been singing this song whole day long for some reason ...), finally got Leash! and all closed up with Indifference ... what else to ask for?

thanks for bringing back those memories, Barbara...

Fanview Berlin I+II and Stockholm (attention: long read)

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