le néant

will it stop?
the spinning world I mean

this feeling of emptiness,
one I thought I had left behind...
why has it returned to me?

the answer is easy....
she was the dam,
holding back grief

the foundation has shown signs of weakness
sprung a leak

and now a year of held back
sorrow, pain, and fear
wash over me

"do you feel suicidal?"
"no."
"but you no longer wish to live?"
"no."

I thought I was cured
how could I have been so optimistic?
so blind?
so.... naive?

I ache in the pit of my soul

the whole world moves on,
unaffected
how can the whole world move on?

nobody
hears

how fucking illogically narcissistic of me
cute

this life
this is how it shall be