Why do male doctors treat women like it's all in our head?

Prince Of Dorkness · April 2011

EdsonNascimento wrote:

Regarding the gay doctor - that's great, but I'm not sure that's necessary, either. My wife's ob's covering was a man, and his bed side manner at her delivery was better than the other 3 times when her regular female ob delivered. I'm not sure, but I think he had no idea first hand (or first womb) what delivering a baby felt like for a woman.

Not the same thing. Pretty much all my friends agree that yes... we need a gay doctor and no matter how cool the straight doctors are, they're just not going to be as effective.

StillHere · April 2011

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

StillHere wrote:

its cool that you have a doctor who understands you now..one question though..i'm interested in hearing ...how did you go about finding out if your new prospective doc was gay? i mean, even with the supposed openness in society today, its still somewhat of a taboo in some circles. just interested in knowing if the docs you interviewed were open and honest with you as you went on your search for the right MD.

I asked around.

my doctor is quite well known in LA. He's a former COLT model and International Mr. Leather.

And I live in Los Angeles. Being gay in Los Angeles isn't taboo.

really? cool

StillHere · April 2011

but i do agree..wholeheartedly ...that it is not the gender or sexual orientation of your doc that's important.
there are two major components imo
~ a well educated, well informed, up to date, open minded doc
and
~ a doc who listens to you, talks with you, answers your questions, offers you all the info you want and need (whether or not you may want it) and with whom you feel very comfortable

Prince Of Dorkness · April 2011

StillHere wrote:

but i do agree..wholeheartedly ...that it is not the gender or sexual orientation of your doc that's important.
there are two major components imo
~ a well educated, well informed, up to date, open minded doc
and
~ a doc who listens to you, talks with you, answers your questions, offers you all the info you want and need (whether or not you may want it) and with whom you feel very comfortable

I'm sure there are plenty of clueless gay doctors.

That said... I would be very surprised if a straight male doctor from the north valley was as up on gay men's health issues as my doctor whose office is in West Hollywood and is very up on everything going on.

tinkerbell · April 2011

Unfortunately here there is a big shortage of General Practice docs. I have been with my current doc for 6 years and the only way I was able to get in was because I had a new born and even then I was on the waiting list for 6 months, my husband can't even change to mine as they only take children as new patients. This is the case with all doc surgerys in my small town of 15,000. A friend of mine has to travel to the next town to see a doc and we have no emergency clinics here either so have to travel to the next town if we need any after hours care.

Prince Of Dorkness · April 2011

StillHere wrote:

really? cool

Yup.

Here he is now...

http://positivelyaware.com/2008/08_04/a ... alist.html

And here is was then...

http://leathermen.wordpress.com/2010/12 ... y-596x856/

And here's his Wiki page.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Mills

Prince Of Dorkness · April 2011

Even better, when he sticks his finger up my asshole, I can bill Blue Shield.

(sorry, I've been dying to tell that joke this whole thread and I just couldn't help myself)

EdsonNascimento · April 2011

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

EdsonNascimento wrote:

Regarding the gay doctor - that's great, but I'm not sure that's necessary, either. My wife's ob's covering was a man, and his bed side manner at her delivery was better than the other 3 times when her regular female ob delivered. I'm not sure, but I think he had no idea first hand (or first womb) what delivering a baby felt like for a woman.

Not the same thing. Pretty much all my friends agree that yes... we need a gay doctor and no matter how cool the straight doctors are, they're just not going to be as effective.

I don't disagree that that might be the right doctor for you, but I will maintain my contention. I don't see how a man knowing about a woman's uterus issues is different than a straight doctor (male or female) knowing about gay health issues. At least the male doctor has access to the equipment of a gay male. I'm not trying to make light (just a little Seinfeld reference). Both doctors need to educate themselves on the patients that they take care of. You may be more comfortable with a gay doctor and that's fine. You may even recommend that to your friends. But that doesn't make it any more correct than saying black people should only see black doctors because white doctors don't understand their unique health issues (or vice versa). Pure silliness.

_ · April 2011

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

EdsonNascimento wrote:

Regarding the gay doctor - that's great, but I'm not sure that's necessary, either. My wife's ob's covering was a man, and his bed side manner at her delivery was better than the other 3 times when her regular female ob delivered. I'm not sure, but I think he had no idea first hand (or first womb) what delivering a baby felt like for a woman.

Not the same thing. Pretty much all my friends agree that yes... we need a gay doctor and no matter how cool the straight doctors are, they're just not going to be as effective.

Just curious, but do you also think straight men should only see straight doctors, women should only see female doctors of the same sexual orientation, etc?

Flutter Girl: I hope you get to the bottom of things & feel better soon. Please keep us posted!

Prince Of Dorkness · April 2011

_ wrote:

Just curious, but do you also think straight men should only see straight doctors, women should only see female doctors of the same sexual orientation, etc?

Not necessarily. Whether I like it or not, about 95-98% of the people out there are straight and their health issues are probably going to be front and center not only in medical school but just in general society.

Without trying to get more graphic than would be appropriate on the Pearl Jam forum, I can't imagine a straight doctor giving all his gay male patients paps because he's heard of a local uptick in HPV and I can't imagine a gay patient telling a straight doctor that he was going on a cruise and the straight doctor saying something like "then we better make sure your hep vaccine is up to date if you want to get in the hot tub."

And before I start to describe anterior sphincter repair therapy... I hope I've made my point.

EdsonNascimento · April 2011

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

_ wrote:

Just curious, but do you also think straight men should only see straight doctors, women should only see female doctors of the same sexual orientation, etc?

Not necessarily. Whether I like it or not, about 95-98% of the people out there are straight and their health issues are probably going to be front and center not only in medical school but just in general society.

Without trying to get more graphic than would be appropriate on the Pearl Jam forum, I can't imagine a straight doctor giving all his gay male patients paps because he's heard of a local uptick in HPV and I can't imagine a gay patient telling a straight doctor that he was going on a cruise and the straight doctor saying something like "then we better make sure your hep vaccine is up to date if you want to get in the hot tub."

And before I start to describe anterior sphincter repair therapy... I hope I've made my point.

Wow! You clearly need to broaden your horizions. I think MLK and other civil rights leaders that fought so hard to get every individual their rights are spinning in their proverbial graves.

First - 95% are straight? Really? I think GLAAD would be shocked to hear that statistic.

ALL straight doctors don't know when to give a vaccination? What do they do when someone goes to a foreign country that requires special shots that they've never been to? Do they send their patient to a doctor in that country?

This is also why the title of this thread is bothersome. Whenever you lump a group of people together, you are guaranteed to be wrong. This is not about male-female or gay-straight. It's about finding a doctor that is well educated, willing to listen and able to give appropriate advice, even if it is - I don't know, I suggest you see another doctor.

Prince Of Dorkness · April 2011

EdsonNascimento wrote:

Wow! You clearly need to broaden your horizions. I think MLK and other civil rights leaders that fought so hard to get every individual their rights are spinning in their proverbial graves.

Yeah. Because what Martin Luther King fought hardest for was for gay men to be routinely screened for things that are generally found in gay men but not straight men.

First - 95% are straight? Really? I think GLAAD would be shocked to hear that statistic.

Well, no. The recent census puts the number at 97%. I was just being optimistic.

ALL straight doctors don't know when to give a vaccination?

Where did I say that?

I always find it odd the way that the second that straight men think they're being left out of something, they lose their shit. (I'm just making an assumption, you might not be male or straight.) When I say that I think gay men should have gay doctors, suddenly the straight guys all go into a panic and start to go on about Martin Luther King and civil rights.

Jeanwah · April 2011

StillHere wrote:

Flutter Girl wrote:

My new doctor, and an American Heart Association article, is where I saw/heard that it tends to be male doctor's..but I know it can be female doctor's too (like the doctor that killed my mother)..My Godsister is becoming a doctor, and I keep telling her don't you be like that too!

It makes sense tho, to find the doctor most like you in some instances. At the same time, "most like me" would mean young, and I deffo didn't want someone fresh out of medical school. This new doc, I was actually searching for a few hours online and after I saw it was 2am, and feeling exhausted, I just picked her cos I wanted to go to sleep..Not the smartest way to pick a doctor..thankfully I got lucky LoL..I found this site online called healthgrades.com..I found her on there after seeing her, and I wasn't surprised to see she had 5 stars for everything listed there..I checked some of the others I was thinking of seeing, just to see how they compared, and wow..one in particular that I thought she looked like a total bitch in her photo, got only 1 star for everything listed LoL..boy did I call that one dead on!

Jeanwah, I'm so sorry for you and your husband's loss. I've been thinking of just going to the hospital ahead of my appt cos it has been getting consistently worse..and the breathing is getting weird..I have to consistently remember to breathe cos I keep just stopping, without realising until I'm suddenly gasping for air...and other times it will feel like the wind just got knocked out of me..I'm hoping it's not serious, but I definately need to take it serious with my heart condition, and with my dad's family history of heart disease..My dad says to wait for my appt..I dunno...

just my 2 cents, but IMO is surely sounds like you should not be waiting. go get help now, please.

I agree!!! Flutter girl, please don't wait til your appt. And when you do see someone, ask for a chest x-ray. It turns out that my husband's aunt had an embolism in her lungs which caused her shortness of breath. She was failed by her doctor and the system, when she could have been saved. Don't wait on this, and good luck!

EdsonNascimento · April 2011

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

EdsonNascimento wrote:

Wow! You clearly need to broaden your horizions. I think MLK and other civil rights leaders that fought so hard to get every individual their rights are spinning in their proverbial graves.

Yeah. Because what Martin Luther King fought hardest for was for gay men to be routinely screened for things that are generally found in gay men but not straight men.

First - 95% are straight? Really? I think GLAAD would be shocked to hear that statistic.

Well, no. The recent census puts the number at 97%. I was just being optimistic.

ALL straight doctors don't know when to give a vaccination?

Where did I say that?

I always find it odd the way that the second that straight men think they're being left out of something, they lose their shit. (I'm just making an assumption, you might not be male or straight.) When I say that I think gay men should have gay doctors, suddenly the straight guys all go into a panic and start to go on about Martin Luther King and civil rights.

Hey, I'm not going to fight with you. A) The MLK reference was a general reference to a well known activist that achieved greater equality for everyone.

97%? I guess I am misinformed. C) You did site that a doctor would not know to give you a vaccination if you went on a cruise. Thus, you are saying they don't know when to give a vaccination. D) I don't care who you go to. I am not feeling excluded. I'm not a doctor, so how would I be excluded if you go to any kind of doctor? Doesn't affect me one iota.

All I am saying as a matter of general advice, people (I am not referring to you - I'm referring to everyone else) should find a good doctor and he or she may or may not be exactly like themselves.

Flutter Girl · April 2011

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

Even better, when he sticks his finger up my asshole, I can bill Blue Shield.

I agree with you bout choosing a gay doctor. A straight doctor could be the most thorough and educated doctor on the planet, but it doesn't mean he understands. And in some cases, it is best to find a doc who understands. If I could find a Gypsy doctor, I would switch, even with as much as I like my new doc, there is a lot to my culture and our marhime laws that she can learn, but won't fully get.

I'm not so sure about going to the ER now..last night my symptoms all just suddenly stopped, not tapering off slowly, just stopped cold. After a couple months of this (tho only about a week and a half of the pressure and pain around my heart). This morning it was back slightly, and right now, it's stopped again. I'm confused.

Edson - he can fine me all he wants for not having insurance. I have zero income at this moment and am technically considered homeless cos I don't have a home in my name and don't pay rent (the house I live in is in probate still..it can take up to a year before it's in my name..)..so fines won't do him a bit of good LoL..I feel bad for seniors..their cost is higher- $700 a month..It's assinine.

EdsonNascimento · April 2011

Flutter Girl wrote:

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

Even better, when he sticks his finger up my asshole, I can bill Blue Shield.

I agree with you bout choosing a gay doctor. A straight doctor could be the most thorough and educated doctor on the planet, but it doesn't mean he understands. And in some cases, it is best to find a doc who understands. If I could find a Gypsy doctor, I would switch, even with as much as I like my new doc, there is a lot to my culture and our marhime laws that she can learn, but won't fully get.

I'm not so sure about going to the ER now..last night my symptoms all just suddenly stopped, not tapering off slowly, just stopped cold. After a couple months of this (tho only about a week and a half of the pressure and pain around my heart). This morning it was back slightly, and right now, it's stopped again. I'm confused.

Edson - he can fine me all he wants for not having insurance. I have zero income at this moment and am technically considered homeless cos I don't have a home in my name and don't pay rent (the house I live in is in probate still..it can take up to a year before it's in my name..)..so fines won't do him a bit of good LoL..I feel bad for seniors..their cost is higher- $700 a month..It's assinine.

Did you have a stress test done? You need to find the solution. I understand you "can't afford it" financially. But, you can't not afford it. You need to find out what the issue is. Is there a clinic in your area that perhaps you can go to? Perhaps there's a cardiologist that does indigent care (sorry, doesn't sound great, but that's the terminology). This is not a question of if - you NEED to get it diagnosed. A stress test can cost anywhere from $300 to $1,500 depending on where you live and the version done (nuclear, dye/no dye, straight stress, etc.). You can even explain your situation to the cardiologist and perhaps he can set up a payment plan on a low rate. You could even try a radiologist that has a cardiologist just read the results. Whatever. There are good doctors out there that will take your financial situation into consideration.

Do you qualify for Medicaid? There is help out there. You need to find it before it's too late.

Flutter Girl · April 2011

I was going to a free clinic before till that asshole Charlie Crist cut funding, and the new asshole Rick Scott hasn't re-added the funding.
I can check around tho..And don't worry bout the name of it, I'm used to that one already LoL..the only time I got embarrassed or bothered by that kind of thing was when this obnoxious clerk at that free clinic loudly asked if I was homeless at the front desk (tryna get me to pay to see the doctor) in front of a packed room and I had to say yes.

I qualify for medicaid, but the problem with it is unless you have enough proof to satisfy them of your disability, you ain't gettin it. Medicaid denies more often than private health care. Both for getting on it, and then for getting any treatments..

But yea, I am going to look around. Maybe I will just go to the ER after all, the county hospital..Cos I have a Jackson card so it's $60 to get seen..I'd have to just ignore the bill they send later till I can afford to pay it..

mikalina · April 2011

Don't be afraid to switch doctors if you have to. There are plenty of wonderful/caring doctors out there both male and female.... good luck to you.

_ · April 2011

Prince Of Dorkness wrote:

_ wrote:

Just curious, but do you also think straight men should only see straight doctors, women should only see female doctors of the same sexual orientation, etc?

Not necessarily. Whether I like it or not, about 95-98% of the people out there are straight and their health issues are probably going to be front and center not only in medical school but just in general society.

Without trying to get more graphic than would be appropriate on the Pearl Jam forum, I can't imagine a straight doctor giving all his gay male patients paps because he's heard of a local uptick in HPV and I can't imagine a gay patient telling a straight doctor that he was going on a cruise and the straight doctor saying something like "then we better make sure your hep vaccine is up to date if you want to get in the hot tub."

And before I start to describe anterior sphincter repair therapy... I hope I've made my point.

I agree that gay male docs are more likely than straight docs to consider the unique needs of gay men. But, ultimately, anticipating patients' needs is what all good doctors should do, whether gay or straight - and I think there are more of them out there than you believe. My gray-haired male gynecologist anticipates my needs better than I ever could - and better than most of the female providers in the department would. (Yes, I know it's not a perfect analogy, as women are more prevalent - and therefore more studied in med school - than gay people.)

I'm glad you were able to find such a good doc though; that's all that's important on a personal level & it's amazing that you found such a perfect match.

I'm curious about this 97% study. Based on my limited personal experience, I'd estimate it more at about 85%. Medicine is the "gayest" profession in which I've ever worked.

Prince Of Dorkness · April 2011

_ wrote:

I'm curious about this 97% study. Based on my limited personal experience, I'd estimate it more at about 85%. Medicine is the "gayest" profession in which I've ever worked.

You've clearly never worked in my industry.

Why do male doctors treat women like it's all in our head?

Comments

Categories