Jesus' Nativity and birth

245

Comments

  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    edited December 2010
    dickweed wrote:
    you are just not right
    not wrapped real tight
    jesus jokes at christmas
    will get you coal and rocks
    from satan i mean santa
    on christmas eve night
    :lol:

    So the baby Jesus walks into a bar...

    I actually just came up with a punchline for this made-up joke...



    The bartender says, "Savior money; it's no good here.

    eh? eh? save your, savior, fuck I'm brilliant! :D
    Post edited by eyedclaar on
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  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    edited December 2010
    eyedclaar wrote:
    You should see my nativity set. Bet you didn't know there were dinosaurs and unicorns witnessing the birth...

    Everybody knows that unicorns were extinct at that point in history :roll:
    Post edited by rollings on
  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    eyedclaar wrote:
    dickweed wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    You should see my nativity set. Bet you didn't know there were dinosaurs and unicorns witnessing the birth...

    and the three wise bears

    One said this savior is too small, the other said this savior is too big, and third bear shoved them both aside and ate that little bundle of joy.

    And that's why the big bear and the little bear appear high in the sky in the northern hemisphere on Christmas Eve night. The medium bear disappeared from the face of the sky after that fateful night.
  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    edited February 2011
    eyedclaar wrote:
    So the baby Jesus walks into a bar...
    .
    Post edited by rollings on
  • eyedclaar
    eyedclaar Posts: 6,980
    Half Full wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    So the baby Jesus walks into a bar...
    and the shocked bartender exclaimed "holy fuck"
    to which the baby Jesus replied "obviously"

    Did you see the edit to my joke a few posts back? 8-)
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  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    edited March 2011
    :lol:
    Post edited by rollings on
  • mysticweed
    mysticweed Posts: 3,710
    eyedclaar wrote:
    dickweed wrote:
    you are just not right
    not wrapped real tight
    jesus jokes at christmas
    will get you coal and rocks
    from satan i mean santa
    on christmas eve night
    :lol:

    So the baby Jesus walks into a bar...

    I actually just came up with a punchline for this made-up joke...



    The bartender says, "Savior money; it's no good here.

    eh? eh? save your, savior, fuck I'm brilliant! :D

    yep a fucking riot
    fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

    "what a long, strange trip it's been"
  • mysticweed
    mysticweed Posts: 3,710
    Half Full wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    So the baby Jesus walks into a bar...
    and the shocked bartender exclaimed "holy fuck"
    to which the baby Jesus replied "obviously"


    yep
    another fucking riot
    fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

    "what a long, strange trip it's been"
  • arq
    arq Posts: 8,101
    eyedclaar wrote:
    So the baby Jesus walks into a bar...

    I actually just came up with a punchline for this made-up joke...

    The bartender says, "Savior money; it's no good here.

    eh? eh? save your, savior, fuck I'm brilliant! :D

    Brilliant? Is a shame there's not a monument in you name!!!

    I'll use this joke for my xmas cards! I'm LMAO!!!

    Thanks!!!
    "The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it"
    Neil deGrasse Tyson

    Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    edited March 2011
    ..
    Post edited by rollings on
  • cajunkiwi
    cajunkiwi Posts: 984
    Half Full wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    You should see my nativity set. Bet you didn't know there were dinosaurs and unicorns witnessing the birth...

    Everybody knows that unicorns were extinct at that point in history :roll:

    That's because they didn't get on the Ark.
    And I listen for the voice inside my head... nothing. I'll do this one myself.
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    11 years ago i was living on Staten Island, N.Y. and at the time it was mostly Italians that lived there (most have left for North Jersey since) but like every house had a Nativity scene on there front lawn with a Baby Jesus in it. So i got the idea to Steal like 25 Baby Jesus's on a late night mission, my plan was to steal them and then at like 3 a.m. Christmas morning return to each and every home and return the Baby Jesus, like a Christmas Miracle!!! :D But my wife wouldn't let me. :(

    i thought it was a brillant plan.
  • Godfather.
    Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    BinauralJam wrote:
    11 years ago i was living on Staten Island, N.Y. and at the time it was mostly Italians that lived there (most have left for North Jersey since) but like every house had a Nativity scene on there front lawn with a Baby Jesus in it. So i got the idea to Steal like 25 Baby Jesus's on a late night mission, my plan was to steal them and then at like 3 a.m. Christmas morning return to each and every home and return the Baby Jesus, like a Christmas Miracle!!! :D But my wife wouldn't let me. :(

    i thought it was a brillant plan.

    you should find out who they are first,stuff like that to some Italians will get you capped :o
    or at least you knees busted up. :lol:


    Godfather.
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    That was my one fear, somebody figuring out my plan and waiting for me on Christmas morning, Take my baby Jesus will ya, bad move Brother.
  • Godfather.
    Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    BinauralJam wrote:
    That was my one fear, somebody figuring out my plan and waiting for me on Christmas morning, Take my baby Jesus will ya, bad move Brother.
    :lol::lol::lol: that would just suck ! :lol:


    Godfather.
  • Electric_Delta
    Electric_Delta Posts: 977
    Half Full wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    So the baby Jesus walks into a bar...
    and the shocked bartender exclaimed "holy fuck"
    to which the baby Jesus replied "obviously"

    Wow, that's inappropriate.
    Bristow, VA (5/13/10)
  • Byrnzie
    Byrnzie Posts: 21,037
    Electric_Delta wrote:
    Half Full wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    So the baby Jesus walks into a bar...
    and the shocked bartender exclaimed "holy fuck"
    to which the baby Jesus replied "obviously"

    Wow, that's inappropriate.

    Why? Is this a Christian forum?
  • Godfather.
    Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    Electric_Delta wrote:
    Half Full wrote:
    eyedclaar wrote:
    So the baby Jesus walks into a bar...
    and the shocked bartender exclaimed "holy fuck"
    to which the baby Jesus replied "obviously"

    Wow, that's inappropriate.


    it's what you could call High stakes gambling...the ultimate cost.

    Godfather.
  • Best of Times
    Best of Times Posts: 296
    edited December 2010
    It was a forum discussing Jesus' birth and the circumstances surrounding it. Then you and your jr high school buddies highjacked it to make jokes about Jesus, and the Christian faith. Inappropriate and immature.

    I wonder would you make the same jokes about Muhammed? Or do you respect only certain people's religion?

    You should be ashamed, but your lack of integrity prevents it.
    Post edited by Best of Times on
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    It is all about respect.
    A good laugh isn't necessarily disrespectful unless it's meant to be.
    Then of course, it's not funny.

    I value the story of Jesus. I have seen many people die who were not living a religious life,
    perhaps not even a spiritual life, but who turned to this story to comfort them and give them hope at the end of their lives. This is beautiful. This is the value, it is not for everyone but it is to be respected.

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