from across an ocean, with love

acrossssSsssshittt
acrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
edited November 2010 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
at dawn
I saw you
by the ocean
…dancing
to the coloured waters

that echoed…

I saw you
at home
you
were in waiting
I saw

you were alone

your brown hair reflecting
a golden sun
maybe
it was the reflection
for I shut my eyes
to touch
with hesitation
…your face
your water coloured body
I’d never before seen
such grace
in the ocean
I watched you bathe
I felt the hurt

wash away

there were things I wanted to say
I wished to be near you
…to hold you
I was afraid

I’d fallen

for you

and as I whispered your name
the wind
it carried it away
there was something
I thought I heard you say
but I stayed
…far away

the distance
was so hard to bear


it was by the ocean
that we first met

your hazel eyes
they wore a smile
your tears
not dried
and looking down
you looked a little… shy

in the silence
I felt
you say my name
and though I’d fallen…
I was no longer
afraid

of falling

under a red sun setting
into a silent ocean
we spoke of a time
we’d left far behind

I held you close
…as if by sunrise
we had parting waves
to ride

this…
was another life

and by the ocean
I made you mine
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • mysticweed
    mysticweed Posts: 3,710
    AO, this is beautiful
    poignant without mush
    so beautiful


    "the ocean always comforts
    so i went to the sea"
    . . .
    fuck 'em if they can't take a joke

    "what a long, strange trip it's been"
  • mikalina
    mikalina Posts: 7,206
    Wow, a beautiful poem, the ocean brings out many feelings.

    one of my favorites.... :D

    Thank you, Shehzad
    ********************************************************************************************* image
  • pandora
    pandora Posts: 21,855
    acrossOceans wrote:
    at dawn
    I saw you
    by the ocean
    …dancing
    to the coloured waters

    that echoed…

    I saw you
    at home
    you
    were in waiting
    I saw

    you were alone

    your brown hair reflecting
    a golden sun
    maybe
    it was the reflection
    for I shut my eyes
    to touch
    with hesitation
    …your face
    your water coloured body
    I’d never before seen
    such grace
    in the ocean
    I watched you bathe
    I felt the hurt

    wash away

    there were things I wanted to say
    I wished to be near you
    …to hold you
    I was afraid

    I’d fallen

    for you

    and as I whispered your name
    the wind
    it carried it away
    there was something
    I thought I heard you say
    but I stayed
    …far away

    the distance
    was so hard to bear


    it was by the ocean
    that we first met

    your hazel eyes
    they wore a smile
    your tears
    not dried
    and looking down
    you looked a little… shy

    in the silence
    I felt
    you say my name
    and though I’d fallen…
    I was no longer
    afraid

    of falling

    under a red sun setting
    into a silent ocean
    we spoke of a time
    we’d left far behind

    I held you close
    …as if by sunrise
    we had parting waves
    to ride

    this…
    was another life

    and by the ocean
    I made you mine
    made me smile.....I feel vulnerable, like I once did
    it's a good feeling, vulnerability, if you trust.
    Very lovely :D thank you
  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    edited March 2011
    very good!
    Post edited by rollings on
  • Godfather.
    Godfather. Posts: 12,504
    beautiful.

    Godfather.
  • canoegirl
    canoegirl Posts: 295
    Wow priceless....
  • the wolf
    the wolf Posts: 7,027
    I wanted to say someting about this when i first read it last night.

    I couldn't,... this one hit me pretty hard.

    "in the silence
    I felt
    you say my name
    and though I’d fallen…
    I was no longer
    afraid"

    this part really gets me.


    this is outstanding my friend.

    thank you.

    -steve
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • acrossssSsssshittt
    acrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    edited November 2010
    i didn't think this would arouse so many sentiments and such emotion.... thank you all... it means so much

    and thank you Wolf, that it hit you hard is ... something

    : )

    edit: i should say that if ever words give rise to real feeling ... and emotion... it always has so much more to do with the person they're written about than with the person writing them...

    for me... with this... I know that is only too true

    if only you knew... and I'm sure you do : )
    Post edited by acrossssSsssshittt on
  • acrossssSsssshittt
    acrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    mikalina wrote:
    Wow, a beautiful poem, the ocean brings out many feelings.

    one of my favorites.... :D

    Thank you, Shehzad


    it's always.. a pleasure mika : )
  • chadwick
    chadwick up my ass Posts: 21,157
    :)
    for poetry through the ceiling. ISBN: 1 4241 8840 7

    "Hear me, my chiefs!
    I am tired; my heart is
    sick and sad. From where
    the sun stands I will fight
    no more forever."
    Chief Joseph - Nez Perce
  • acrossssSsssshittt
    acrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    chadwick wrote:
    :)

    ;)
  • canoegirl
    canoegirl Posts: 295
    what a mind, as i sit and rewind looking at your words touched by the design of time, what a find you have a beautiful mind
  • canoegirl
    canoegirl Posts: 295
    Your words need to be viewed by many more people
  • rollings
    rollings unknown Posts: 7,127
    edited March 2011
    good!
    Post edited by rollings on
  • acrossssSsssshittt
    acrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    canoegirl... I was down and then i read your words... so sincere and so sweet... thank you ...you''re a very cute person : )

    ...sittin across some ocean in a canoe ... just like Half Half Full Full says : )
  • acrossssSsssshittt
    acrossssSsssshittt Posts: 1,014
    lettinggo wrote:
    AO, this is beautiful
    poignant without mush
    so beautiful


    "the ocean always comforts
    so i went to the sea"
    . . .

    i remember those words from your poem lettinggo... one of the best poems i have ever read ... thank you
  • The Porch is full of overweight jobless geeks
    The Porch is full of overweight jobless geeks Posts: 64
    this is in my top5 bro :D

Categories