i wonder what Jeremy's parents thought of "Jeremy"

StuffnJunk
StuffnJunk Posts: 896
edited January 2011 in The Porch
they say losing a child is the toughest thing you could ever endure

losing a child to suicide makes it even worse

and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...

a pop band writes a song about it using your son's actual name and saying "daddy didn't give attention to the fact that mommy didn't care"...and its a song that ends up all over mainstream radio and MTV

when i was a teenager, i thought "yeah, jeremy sure stuck it to them, alright!!"

now that i'm 32 i see things more from the parents point of view...

EDIT - i'm very pleased to see so many people liked my thread and that it has sparked some great discussion

i guess the main thing i've been thinking about, which is part of growing up, is being critical of what you perceive to be crappy parenting when you are young, then growing up and having kids of your own and seeing how incredibly hard it is, and then maybe regretting how critical you were...and realizing that maybe (gasp!) you are not the greatest parent yourself, who's to say?..that is a poor attempt at putting my thoughts into words, but i guess you get what i mean.
"I'll tell you what: If all I had was Pearl Jam, and I didn't have another band in the world, I would not be worried. Because in there is the essence of making great music. You don't have to use it all at once, but it's there." - Neil Young
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Comments

  • Kanye East
    Kanye East Posts: 782
    meh
    DC-9/24/96
    Philly-8/28/98, 8/29/98, 9/1/00, 9/2/00, 4/28/03, 7/5/03, 7/6/03, 10/3/05, 5/27/06, 5/28/06, 6/19/08, 6/20/08, 10/27/09, 10/28/09, 10/30/09, 10/31/09, 10/21/13, 10/22/13, 4/28/16, 4/29/16
    Jones Beach-8/25/00
    PSU-5/3/03
    Irvine-6/2/03
    San Diego-6/5/03
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    Reading-10/1/04
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    AC-9/30/05
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    Bonnaroo-6/14/08
    VA Beach-6/17/08
    MSG-5/20/10,5/21/10
    Baltimore 10/27/13
  • the wolf
    the wolf Posts: 7,027
    Kanye East wrote:
    meh

    what ?

    I think its a decent topic. would you rather talk about Philly boots ? or Ed's pants ? :?
    Peace, Love.

    "To question your government is not unpatriotic --
    to not question your government is unpatriotic."
    -- Sen. Chuck Hagel
  • Gmoney
    Gmoney Posts: 1,618
    pop band?
    Further back and forth a wave will break on me, today...
  • arq
    arq Posts: 8,101
    Wow a $1000000 question! :shock:

    I'll give it a thought and I'll post later!
    "The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it"
    Neil deGrasse Tyson

    Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
  • PillowPants
    PillowPants Posts: 4,877
    pop band?
  • Gmoney
    Gmoney Posts: 1,618
    pop band?
    Further back and forth a wave will break on me, today...
  • Pol
    Pol Posts: 60
    StuffnJunk you totally read my mind. This thought had been floating around my head recently and I was meaning to ask that question but got tied up with uni crud :evil: .

    I had always wondered what their reaction to the song was. Did they feel that this band were cashing in on the death of their son? Devaluing him somehow? Of course I don't believe that for one minute, Ed always said every time he sings the song he thinks of Jeremy and I know he does. It obviously struck a chord with Ed and he had to release his feelings about it by doing what he does best, letting his emotions flow through his pen onto paper. The song is very powerful with an important message and it's kinda beautiful in a way. It's just a terribly sad story which happened to produce an extremely powerful song.
    In Pearl Jam we trust!
  • 81
    81 Needing a ride to Forest Hills and a ounce of weed. Please inquire within. Thanks. Or not. Posts: 58,276
    http://www.sshep.com/jeremynew.htm
    81 is now off the air

    Off_Air.jpg
  • FenwayFaithful
    FenwayFaithful Posts: 8,626
    Great thread StuffnJunk! I agree with the wolf on this one, these threads are so much more entertaining than bitching about tour dates and philly boots. I enjoy discussing "non mainstream" stuff on the board. That and I'm bored with the "I wonder what happened to the Vs. sheep" by now.

    Has this ever been explored before? What do we know about PJ's relationship with the actual family?
    "FF, I've heard the droning about the Sawx being the baby dolls. Yeah, I get it, you guys invented baseball and suffered forever. I get it." -JearlPam0925
  • Ledbetterman10
    Ledbetterman10 Posts: 17,017
    the wolf wrote:
    Kanye East wrote:
    meh

    what ?

    I think its a decent topic. would you rather talk about Philly boots ? or Ed's pants ? :?

    I totally agree dude.

    Anyway, if the parents have ever heard the song, I bet at first they felt that they're situation was being exploited. But it would to make them take a look in the mirror and ask if it was really their fault. If they felt it wasn't, then they probably thought Eddie Vedder was a huge fucking asshole. If they felt it was their fault, they probably are tortured by the whole thing; the loss of their kid as well as the fact that it was made into such a famous song.
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2, 2021: Sea. Hear. Now. 2022: Camden, 2024: Philly 2, 2025: Pittsburgh 1

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • Ledbetterman10
    Ledbetterman10 Posts: 17,017
    81 wrote:
    http://www.sshep.com/jeremynew.htm

    wow interesting stuff.
    2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2, 2021: Sea. Hear. Now. 2022: Camden, 2024: Philly 2, 2025: Pittsburgh 1

    Pearl Jam bootlegs:
    http://wegotshit.blogspot.com
  • Mookie Blaylock77
    Mookie Blaylock77 Posts: 127
    This is good stuff... I agree with almost all of you.
    Finally something actually interesting.

    I will have to give a thought :roll:
  • mookeywrench
    mookeywrench Posts: 6,095
    Pearl Jam were a part of pop culture in 1991-1994. That would make them a pop band.
  • riCotokYo
    riCotokYo Posts: 159
    very good question!

    and for all you "pop band?" people.....don't forget pop is short for popular. and it takes a popular band to break first week sales records as VS did!.....
  • CJMST3K
    CJMST3K Posts: 9,722
    Gmoney wrote:
    pop band?


    Excellent question the OP had.

    "Pop band" from the view of the parents... that some popular band made a radio and video hit, with the brief, possibly skewed view of their son's recent suicide.

    Probably one of the best questions asked on this board, frankly.

    ...I too will need to consider my answer.
    ADD 5,200 to the post count you see, thank you. :)
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  • riCotokYo
    riCotokYo Posts: 159
    81 wrote:
    http://www.sshep.com/jeremynew.htm
    notice how the Jeremy from the video has the same haircut as the real Jeremy

    btw, thanks for posting that....neato gang!
  • Anon
    Anon Posts: 11,174
    When I was 18, I lost a great friend to suicide. At the time of his funeral, we young kids that knew EVERYTHING sneered at his parents, were downright a-holes and blamed them for Tony's death. I guess at 18, we didn't know how the f* else to deal with such agonizing grief.

    Fifteen years later I think of Tony still probably almost every day of my life. Now though, I think of his family, his brother, his parents and how much I can't even begin to wrap my head around how much they must have hurt, still hurt and how much of the blame they probably heaped on themselves without all of us young jerks adding to it.

    I've thought a long time about sending Tony's family a letter, not so much as an apology, but more of a hey, he was a great friend I miss him and I think of him and you often.

    But, I have NO idea how they processed the suicide of their son. This letter would be my Jeremy of sorts... Cathartic for me in dealing with the pain, but without the piece of info about how they are healing, it could be a sting that they just can't deal with still all these years later or maybe a welcome relief?

    We can never read what is truly on someone else's heart I guess..
  • fuck
    fuck Posts: 4,067
    StuffnJunk wrote:
    a pop band writes a song about it using your son's actual name and saying "daddy didn't give attention to the fact that mommy didn't care"...
    just cause they used his actual name doesn't mean they're implying that the real kid's dad didn't give a damn. they might be applying the real jeremy's situation to that of many other kids. in other words, obviously most people, including the band, don't really know what the real Jeremy's relationship with his family was actually like other than what the media may have reported (and was probably not even that accurate). it's possible eddie just thought of this kid's situation, used his name, but then also threw in other aspects drawn from other kids' stories.

    other than that, i would say it that atleast to me i think it's pretty clear that the band was sympathizing with both the kid and the family, but obviously i can't really answer this type of question without being in the situation myself
  • Anon
    Anon Posts: 11,174
    If you or someone you know needs help dealing with the pain of suicide:

    http://www.afsp.org/
  • moses-i
    moses-i Posts: 139
    I'm surprised that so many fans take the lyrics so literally. I thought it was common knowledge that Jeremy Delle was the INSPIRATION for the song, not that the song is actually about him. I mean did Eddie Vedder actually pick on the kid? Did the kid actually bite the recess lady's breast? Did he punch out Eddie Vedder? Did ANYBODY do any of things? The song is about alienation, depression and teen suicide not Jeremy Delle. I'd imagine that Jeremy's parents appreciate the spirit the song was written in.

    Oh and yeah sorry kids-Pearl Jam were for all intents and purposes a "pop band" in the 90s. How else do you explain sweeping the MTV Awards-when was the last time that a rock band got that many awards at ANY awards show.
    if jah is the ship, we smile at the storm.

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