lump on your lymph node? updated: it's cancer.

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  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    thanks for the good thoughts.

    I texted him last night telling him I love him, didn't hear back from him till this morning... he said "love you too.... please bear wit me" i'm sure it's hard for him to have something out of his control.


    I'm sure he appreciated your text more than you know...little things like that can make a big difference, and make his heart happy :-)
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • patrickredeyes
    patrickredeyes Posts: 8,834
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    My Dad just came from the Dr. and he needs a cat scan for a lump/mass on his lymph node. The Dr. mentioned lymphoma... but didn't elaborate yet.

    I don't wanna look up all the options of what it could be as to not get scared right away. So I decided to ask here for some (less medical and scary) opinions.

    UPDATE:
    This is what they told me the Dr. told them (remember this is from my parents so take nothing as 100% :? )

    He has a cancerous tumor on his lymph node that is solid. They are going to take more biopsies from inside his mouth of his tongue, larynx, and lymph node (a few other things too)... and see if it has spread from the tumor also to see where it's come from. The Dr. told him that this is mostly seen in smokers though my dad quit right before I was born, 28 yrs ago. After that he will get a PET scan... from there they will determine if he needs radiation and so forth. Tomorrow they are setting up an appointment with an Oncologist.

    When talking to my parents they seemed positive, though I could see it in their eyes that it was all a show. My Mom obviously was crying and my Dad was unable to focus and was cracking jokes (he said that my mom's driving gave him cancer). I can see they are scared, which scares me more. I'm used to seeing my Dad as untouchable... and this has and will be scary. They played it down and kept saying things will be ok, I am thinking positive that they are... but if the Dr. referred them to an Oncologist already I think it's more serious then they let on.

    I drove home tonight after seeing them (I live an hour away).... I started to cry thinking of losing him, and what it'll be like for my mom.... and I zoned out..... numbed, I don't know how I got home. It scares me to think that this got to me so much already, how am I going to be able to be there for them when I can't hold it together right now.


    Just saw this thread and read threw it a little bit. I hope everything works out and your dad is ok.
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    He wants a second opinion after talking to the Dr. today about the treatment..... they recommended 2 bags of Chemo once a week... for 7 weeks.... same as the radiation. He really doesn't want the Chemo. The discussed a feeding tube... and told him it's 80% curable.

    He wants to see what the Dr's at University of Penn say. I think if they also say Chemo he'll do it... reluctantly.

    He needs a tooth pulled before they can start radiation, since the cavity will interfere with the radiation.

    I'm nervous to see him sick.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    He wants a second opinion after talking to the Dr. today about the treatment..... they recommended 2 bags of Chemo once a week... for 7 weeks.... same as the radiation. He really doesn't want the Chemo. The discussed a feeding tube... and told him it's 80% curable.

    He wants to see what the Dr's at University of Penn say. I think if they also say Chemo he'll do it... reluctantly.

    He needs a tooth pulled before they can start radiation, since the cavity will interfere with the radiation.

    I'm nervous to see him sick.

    80% is really good! I think the radiation does a number on teeth, especially where his is going to be focused. Did the doctor mention his sense of taste or salivary glands? Both of those were lost by Petes dad. (small price to pay though)

    A second opinion cant hurt!
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    He wants a second opinion after talking to the Dr. today about the treatment..... they recommended 2 bags of Chemo once a week... for 7 weeks.... same as the radiation. He really doesn't want the Chemo. The discussed a feeding tube... and told him it's 80% curable.

    He wants to see what the Dr's at University of Penn say. I think if they also say Chemo he'll do it... reluctantly.

    He needs a tooth pulled before they can start radiation, since the cavity will interfere with the radiation.

    I'm nervous to see him sick.

    80% is really good! I think the radiation does a number on teeth, especially where his is going to be focused. Did the doctor mention his sense of taste or salivary glands? Both of those were lost by Petes dad. (small price to pay though)

    A second opinion cant hurt!

    did he ever regain taste???
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    He wants a second opinion after talking to the Dr. today about the treatment..... they recommended 2 bags of Chemo once a week... for 7 weeks.... same as the radiation. He really doesn't want the Chemo. The discussed a feeding tube... and told him it's 80% curable.

    He wants to see what the Dr's at University of Penn say. I think if they also say Chemo he'll do it... reluctantly.

    He needs a tooth pulled before they can start radiation, since the cavity will interfere with the radiation.

    I'm nervous to see him sick.

    80% is really good! I think the radiation does a number on teeth, especially where his is going to be focused. Did the doctor mention his sense of taste or salivary glands? Both of those were lost by Petes dad. (small price to pay though)

    A second opinion cant hurt!

    did he ever regain taste???

    Hardly. But he said the pros are that he doesn't enjoy chips anymore therefore can really control his weight. :|

    It may be different for your dad. I dont know.
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    Hardly. But he said the pros are that he doesn't enjoy chips anymore therefore can really control his weight. :|

    It may be different for your dad. I dont know.
    they told him that they can't do pin point radiation ( i think I mentioned this before) so they have to make a mask for him and then when they do the radiation the mask will be bolted to the table... that's when he almost passed out. :|
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    Hardly. But he said the pros are that he doesn't enjoy chips anymore therefore can really control his weight. :|

    It may be different for your dad. I dont know.
    they told him that they can't do pin point radiation ( i think I mentioned this before) so they have to make a mask for him and then when they do the radiation the mask will be bolted to the table... that's when he almost passed out. :|


    Ahhh! The mask! I'll send you a picture of Pete's mask. Colby was with him during one treatment.
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    Hardly. But he said the pros are that he doesn't enjoy chips anymore therefore can really control his weight. :|

    It may be different for your dad. I dont know.
    they told him that they can't do pin point radiation ( i think I mentioned this before) so they have to make a mask for him and then when they do the radiation the mask will be bolted to the table... that's when he almost passed out. :|


    Ahhh! The mask! I'll send you a picture of Pete's mask. Colby was with him during one treatment.
    wow it really is the same thing!
    this is too weird.... I am thankful everyday for you!
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    You just let me know if and when you want to check out the pics :)
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • ledvedderman
    ledvedderman Posts: 7,762
    Hey man, just wanted to say to keep your chin up and we're all pulling for you and your family
    E8toX.gif

    http://www.reverbnation.com/brianzilm
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    the hardest part is pretending that I'm not scared......
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    the hardest part is pretending that I'm not scared......


    It's okay to be scared...I'd be concerned if you weren't scared. I think it's just showing your fear at the right times. But it's 100% normal to be fearful of the process and the outcome.

    edit: right times = when you feel safe with the people around you...not in a situation where it could make you feel worse.
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    the hardest part is pretending that I'm not scared......


    It's okay to be scared...I'd be concerned if you weren't scared. I think it's just showing your fear at the right times. But it's 100% normal to be fearful of the process and the outcome.

    edit: right times = when you feel safe with the people around you...not in a situation where it could make you feel worse.
    like right now :|
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Cinnamon Girl
    Cinnamon Girl Posts: 1,854
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    the hardest part is pretending that I'm not scared......


    It's okay to be scared...I'd be concerned if you weren't scared. I think it's just showing your fear at the right times. But it's 100% normal to be fearful of the process and the outcome.

    edit: right times = when you feel safe with the people around you...not in a situation where it could make you feel worse.
    like right now :|

    :idea: emotions are running high right now. :(
    05-10-06, 08-05-07, 06-14-08 , 08-12-08(EV), 06-11-09(EV), 06-12-09(EV), 08-21-09, 05-10-10, 09-11-11, 09-12-11, 07-16-13, 07-19-13, 10-12-13, 10-21-13, 10-22-13,
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    Cinnamon Girl wrote:

    :idea: emotions are running high right now. :(
    and you're the only one I can count on.... thank you.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • Back_Pedal
    Back_Pedal Posts: 1,171
    I know someone who was diagnosed with brain and lung cancer, and given a set amount of time to live. Now the doctors are telling him the brain tumor is already beginning to shrink, and he's even getting through the chemo and radiation with no real sickness. Even when things look grimmer than grim, a fighting spirit goes a loonnng way.

    My mom is also a breast cancer survivor, and she said she put herself into the hands of God, and fought it tooth and nail.
    Thanks EPOTTSIII!
    "Vinyl or not, you will need to pay someone to take RA of your hands" - Smile05
    424, xxx
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    My dad had some teeth pulled and some cavity fillings ripped out yesterday in preparation for the radiation, he has to get more pulled today. He's in a lot of pain just from that alone.

    They called University of Penn to see about a consolation for a 2nd opinion and they want anywhere from $500-1000 to do it. So as of right now he's at a stand still on what he's doing about the chemo. Though he's moving forward with the radiation.

    I keep dreaming about it...nightmares I should say.
    As it was before, the only friends that have offered me support have been from here (and funny enough mostly...Canadians :) ) though there are a few good friends I'm met here that are there for me whenever I need them, thanks so much!!
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"
  • pearljgirl2010
    pearljgirl2010 Shillington, PA/Tuckerton, NJ Posts: 3,428
    CHANGEinWAVES wrote:
    My dad had some teeth pulled and some cavity fillings ripped out yesterday in preparation for the radiation, he has to get more pulled today. He's in a lot of pain just from that alone.

    They called University of Penn to see about a consolation for a 2nd opinion and they want anywhere from $500-1000 to do it. So as of right now he's at a stand still on what he's doing about the chemo. Though he's moving forward with the radiation.

    I keep dreaming about it...nightmares I should say.
    As it was before, the only friends that have offered me support have been from here (and funny enough mostly...Canadians :) ) though there are a few good friends I'm met here that are there for me whenever I need them, thanks so much!!

    a 2nd opinion isn't a bad idea...best to learn about all of the options. when does he start radiation? I hope he (and you and mom) are starting to feel better about getting treatment underway...
    Need a tour Travel Agent??? Pick me :-)

    Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    pearljgirl2010 wrote:

    a 2nd opinion isn't a bad idea...best to learn about all of the options. when does he start radiation? I hope he (and you and mom) are starting to feel better about getting treatment underway...
    Actually it would kinda qualify as a 3rd opinion... But they never got much into treatment with the first dr. (He talked down to my dad and made him feel uncomfortable).
    The thing is, with him probably not being able to work for 7 weeks, if not longer during treatment, the bill for a 2nd opinion is pretty steep, and money they could use to help other things go more smoothly. My family is by no means well off, they have just managed to pull money outta their ass and work their fingers to the bone when needed. I think the stress and circumstances are making that hard for them this time around. I am contemplating using the money from the sale of my wedding rings to give to them instead of using it for the fall PJ tour.

    Right now he's just doing the prep for radiation, like removing teeth and getting the radiation mask made. He's also been told he needs to gain weight and have proper nutrition. He's been on an all veggy diet (doesn't wanna 'feed' the cancer as he says) but some of those veggies will interfere with treatment apparently. My mom wants him to jump into whatever treatment is thrown at him, but he's having a hard time swallowing it all. I want to be there for both of them but they have different views on how things should be done and I don't want to agree with one and have the other feel like I've taken the other's side. Being an only child is hard, there's a lot of weight to bear when it comes to family and taking care of them. Hard more so cause I'm sort of an independent person, where I just wanna pick up and leave....move somewhere else, but I've always had to think that there would be no one here for them. My parents would be sad if they read that cause they raised me to be this way, but they can't help I was a lucky(hopefully) surprise after trying for over 11 years. It's not their fault I was all they could have. I owe it to them to make sure they are taken care of.
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"

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