why is love associated with pain?
rjbukowski
Posts: 117
I meant to google "why is love so great" and when you get to "why is love" you get google responses of "why is love...painful, hard, complicated, blind, so confusing, so difficult." What is wrong with human beings?!!!
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when it does work though..Well huzzah, hooray and everything is hunky dory. It's a funny thing. I don't think we'll ever understand it.
it hurts when that doesn't work. out of the number of relationships each person has in their lifetime, how many last? nearly all end at somepoint. so the vast majority of them end. it's life. just like soulsinging said, its realistic.
And to answer the threads question - when people are having a good time in love, they dont google it to see how others feel about being in love!! its only when you're torn to pieces and suffering that you run to the internet for help!! myself included.
the same could be said for this (or any) message board. there arent that many "I am in love and it is awesome" threads. There's definitely more threads about heartbeak & pain. it's not a cynical view of love....it's representation of the fact that in a time of need, people look to others for help. thats all.
If, for one moment, I'd let an emotion creep out of me, I'd say that I love this man and he's my soul mate! I am kidding, of course. I tend to agree with soulsinging on a regular basis....this being yet another point with which I agree!
It is an unrealistic expectation to believe love is so perfect that the imperfect can do it without any work involved. Sure love is easy....it's the relationship that takes work.
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
soooo well said, and so true!
love is associated with a LOT of things, as are most states of being and emotions. love isn't any one *thing*...and most definitely far from perfect b/c nothing truly is. there is nothing *wrong* with human beings....this IS simply being human, living...
Let's just breathe...
I am myself like you somehow
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Why not (V) (°,,,,°) (V) ?
There's an old song by Nazareth called "LOVE HURTS" that just about says it all.
LOVE HURTS
Love hurts, love scars
,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Im young, I know,
But even so
I know a thing, or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot,
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when its hot
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
Theyre not foolin me
I know it isnt true,
I know it isnt true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts
Ooh,ooh love hurts
[guitar solo]
I know it isnt true,
I know it isnt true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Ooh ooh love hurts
Ooh ooh...
Peace
*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti
*The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)
All of those needy type feelings about what love 'should' be help to create this whole other group of human beings who fight off all attempts at commitment, back away from strong expressions of love and emotions, fear being cornered/trapped/tied down and are very skeptical towards any possible love interests. These people have become jaded by these past experiences or from all the drama they see unfolding around them.
So it seems that these two groups of people endlessly manage to attract the other kind and it results in frustration, heartache and tons of good old human drama which plays out all over the place in our current society. All this creates this myth of love being a joke or that it MUST involve lots of pain and hurt...which turns so many against a belief in true love or a more meaningful type love before they even give their hearts a chance to experience it without bias. Sad and shortsighted, imo.
When everything could be so much easier if people learned to love one another in more 'unconditional' sense. However cliche, it holds true that if you truly love someone then give that person space and freedom to be the person you're so bent on expecting them to be. They will be who they really are instead of trying so hard to fit into this version of them that you want to envision them as. Give people the freedom and space to be real. I mean, who could ever be really happy with their SO when you feel that person needs to be constantly checked up on, questioned way too often, followed and doubted no matter what they do? Obviously there is a problem in the way of you completely loving them because IMO love brings about feelings of trust, understanding, feelings of security and acceptance. It's easy going and has a certain flow that recreates itself naturally. When you allow yourself to let go of all expectations and be with someone for who they really are...all those more pleasant emotions start bubbling about in your life. OR you find that said person is not what you actually wanted or thought and in that case why try to force it or prolong the inevitable? It's best to allow these problems to be seen in the beginning to help save yourself from wasting time and being let down by someone with whom you may have grown attached to.
Basically all I'm saying is people should spend more time just loving (a verb) one another and less time trying to get others to mold into their fantasy version of perfect 'love' (a noun that one must work towards) . Just let go of the ego and all those fears of rejection, abandonment and loneliness. Spend more time being open to those you find yourself mysteriously pulled towards. You might find that you love certain attributes in this one special person that you might have discouraged in your past relationships or written off as something you'd never go for. Everyone is their own unique package filled with greatness and faults blended together. Go with the flow...spend more time loving and less time searching for that final destination which you want to call 'the one true love out there waiting for you'....because who really knows what will ultimately make them or you happy?? Love is something you'll experience in the moments that tell the story of your life...it just happens without warning just outta thin air. It's not something you search for, it can't be based on your past, it can't fit into a neat little box you've made up. Love just is what it is...it's free, beautiful, surprising and it's happening all around you everyday if you open up to the all possibilities out there. But it can't be so happy and good to you if you try so hard to own it and hold on so tightly for fear of losing it. You hold on to love by loving someone back...making yourself vulnerable, opening up and believing in them enough to just *know* that they will return your love right back to you. True love will feed, grow and flourish when given that kind of acknowledgment. Nothing beats the feeling of the person you love showing you just how much they believe in and appreciate the love you give them. There is no higher gift to give a lover than to allow yourself to receive all the love they've been sending your way.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
-Oscar Wilde