why I'll never feel comfortable with church...

dunkman · April 2009

tvismyfriend wrote:

Church is a scam. They won't let me believe in evolution, but they expect me to believe that every living human is related to two white people. Where did all the African and Asian people come from?

weirdly enough... and i'm not a god person so i'm not arguing... but every living human actually descended from Black Africans.... and yet we have all these different races... but yet we all evolved from Central Africa...

but to add to your point... if Adam and Eve were indeed the first 2 humans on earth... then how did their children have children? how did the population of the earth start? it would appear incest is the only genuine and plausible theory...

South of Seattle · April 2009

I went to a Catholic Funeral last week.

I got there early and did the rosary. I had the rosary wrapped around my hand, my hand started to to swell and get lumps.

I think I'm a heathen and the Rosary was garlic like to a Vampire. I'm sure my Catholic girlfriend loves that. :shock:

DeLukin · April 2009

In my experience w/Christian marriage counseling it's always the man that bears the brunt of the responsibility. Back in the day when my wife and I were first married and went through some rough patches we tried that route and I couldn't believe how I was never, EVER right. Biblically, it's the man's resonsibility to be the leader spiritually and otherwise in the home and if there are issues w/the marriage (or children) it's always perceived to be a direct result of something he isn't doing right. My wife and I worked out our differences ourselves but I think that sort of thinking comes from the very archaic paternal-centered view of marriage that a lot of fundamental churches still hang on to. So, I can see why the pastor said it, but I definitely don't agree with it.

PJaddicted · April 2009

you have to remember in the churches eye....marriage is for better or worse in sickness and health. Most people will not live with the worse part, and depending on the Sickness ie. drug, alcohol or mental illness, most people won't stick around for that either. Marriage under the church is suppose to be for life, until one of the partners dies. Now a days 99.9% of people won't stay married like that...and I don't blame them, life is fleeting...goes by so quickly, who wants to spend it miserable.

fanch75 · April 2009

I think it's awful that people have messed up Church so badly that it's turned everyone off on it.

haffajappa · April 2009

know1 wrote:

It's kind of a generalization to equate one pastors advice to all churches, but whatever.

Of course, marriage is supposed to be until "death do you part" so it kind of follows to advise people to try and follow what they vowed.

yes well, it doesn't sound like she took that vow very seriously, which is sort of the point of the post...

haffajappa · April 2009

dunkman wrote:

tvismyfriend wrote:

Church is a scam. They won't let me believe in evolution, but they expect me to believe that every living human is related to two white people. Where did all the African and Asian people come from?

weirdly enough... and i'm not a god person so i'm not arguing... but every living human actually descended from Black Africans.... and yet we have all these different races... but yet we all evolved from Central Africa...

but to add to your point... if Adam and Eve were indeed the first 2 humans on earth... then how did their children have children? how did the population of the earth start? it would appear incest is the only genuine and plausible theory...

yeah we'd all be flubber babies or whatever

gross !

CHANGEinWAVES · April 2009

The problem for me is that after him trying to save their marriage and taking her back the first time she left again! She doesn't plan on returning but will not file for divorce either. They are currently living in separate homes and the possibility of her having a boyfriend is there too. But divorce is wrong so she won't file.

milarso · April 2009

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

The problem for me is that after him trying to save their marriage and taking her back the first time she left again! She doesn't plan on returning but will not file for divorce either. They are currently living in separate homes and the possibility of her having a boyfriend is there too. But divorce is wrong so she won't file.

What a terrible situation.
I hope that he is able to resolve it with her.

_Crazy_Mary_ · April 2009

he never should have married her if she had mental problems. Or did these problems just show up out of nowhere after they were married?
I stand by my belief that people shouldn't get married...

CHANGEinWAVES · April 2009

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

he never should have married her if she had mental problems. Or did these problems just show up out of nowhere after they were married?
I stand by my belief that people shouldn't get married...

he said he knew of some small issues... but after they got married she revealed a boat load of problems.
Poor guy, he's done al he can to make this thing work, but she keeps shitting on him. At this point he wants a divorce to be able to move and heal so he can focus on taking care of their kids the best way he can.

LikeAnOcean · April 2009

The chanting always throws me off.. it has weirded me out since I was a little kid. I always think of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom when in a church.. minus the human sacrifice of course.

Thorns2010 · April 2009

I was raised Catholic, so yes I know all about the crazy cult likeness of it all.

But the one thing I will say about Catholics, they do know how to take care of their fellow members in times of need, and definitely when it comes to funerals, they do it right.

My mom died last April 25th, completely out of nowhere, and the church was there to support us and inform us of all the choices and decisions that needed to be made.

My family ended up going with a Catholic cemetery as well, and its comforting to know she is in a good place.

CHANGEinWAVES · April 2009

Thorns2010 wrote:

I was raised Catholic, so yes I know all about the crazy cult likeness of it all.

But the one thing I will say about Catholics, they do know how to take care of their fellow members in times of need, and definitely when it comes to funerals, they do it right.

My mom died last April 25th, completely out of nowhere, and the church was there to support us and inform us of all the choices and decisions that needed to be made.

My family ended up going with a Catholic cemetery as well, and its comforting to know she is in a good place.

I'm sorry about your mother.

Thorns2010 · April 2009

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

Thorns2010 wrote:

I was raised Catholic, so yes I know all about the crazy cult likeness of it all.

But the one thing I will say about Catholics, they do know how to take care of their fellow members in times of need, and definitely when it comes to funerals, they do it right.

My mom died last April 25th, completely out of nowhere, and the church was there to support us and inform us of all the choices and decisions that needed to be made.

My family ended up going with a Catholic cemetery as well, and its comforting to know she is in a good place.

I'm sorry about your mother.

Thank you, sorry to derail you thread about the crappyness of the church.

I agree with you about what your friend is going through, just wanted to comment on how it's not ALL bad, just mostly.

dunkman · April 2009

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

I stand by my belief that people shouldn't get married...

studies show that married people tip the most and will repsond to the question of "is everything ok with your steak i made you buy?"

decides2dream · April 2009

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

I stand by my belief that people shouldn't get married...

why?
seriously?
beyond the tired excuses......
if people want to get married, make that type of commitment.....spiritual AND/or legal....why not? sure, lots of marriages end...but lots stick it out too. it's THEIR CHOICE...and really, if a couple does want to be together, be commited, legally...marriage offers a lot of protection to the couple, for each other. i like that.

changes, as to your friend....that's unfortunate. i am not a 'church person' by any stretch, tho raised VERY catholic....and al i can say is, quite honestly...what else do you expect a priest/pastor to say? first and foremost, they are RELIGIOU leaders. sure, you want to see some sympathy and such...but if it's their belief that marriage is for life, well then, can't really fault the priest for saying it. if one wants a truly unbiased voice of support, you go to a therapist, not a priest.

Heineken Helen · April 2009

PJaddicted wrote:

you have to remember in the churches eye....marriage is for better or worse in sickness and health. Most people will not live with the worse part, and depending on the Sickness ie. drug, alcohol or mental illness, most people won't stick around for that either. Marriage under the church is suppose to be for life, until one of the partners dies. Now a days 99.9% of people won't stay married like that...and I don't blame them, life is fleeting...goes by so quickly, who wants to spend it miserable.

I agree... but then nobody really thinks when they're GIVING those vows these days... they just think it's romantic... they don't realise they're making a promise in the church.

So... what exactly did he think his pastor was going to say to him? The same pastor who bonded them in marriage cos they ASKED him to and gave him those vows. Now they're having trouble he's supposed to just say 'ah sure it was all a joke'.

Marriages have troubles... people divorce... but who the fuck expects their pastor to validate it? It's NOT the church's problem... it's people EXPECTING the church to change to suit their circumstances. Most people know if you get divorce, you're practically leaving your church. Ah people are so fickle... what do vows mean to anybody?

Heineken Helen · April 2009

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

_Crazy_Mary_ wrote:

he never should have married her if she had mental problems. Or did these problems just show up out of nowhere after they were married?
I stand by my belief that people shouldn't get married...

he said he knew of some small issues... but after they got married she revealed a boat load of problems.
Poor guy, he's done al he can to make this thing work, but she keeps shitting on him. At this point he wants a divorce to be able to move and heal so he can focus on taking care of their kids the best way he can.

Bullshit... I'm sorry... but you make it sound like these problems all came on as soon as they got married... and he still went ahead and had kids with her? And somehow it's all her fault cos she's SICK? You're only hearing one side of this story... I wouldn't get involved.

PJaddicted · April 2009

Heineken Helen wrote:

PJaddicted wrote:

you have to remember in the churches eye....marriage is for better or worse in sickness and health. Most people will not live with the worse part, and depending on the Sickness ie. drug, alcohol or mental illness, most people won't stick around for that either. Marriage under the church is suppose to be for life, until one of the partners dies. Now a days 99.9% of people won't stay married like that...and I don't blame them, life is fleeting...goes by so quickly, who wants to spend it miserable.

I agree... but then nobody really thinks when they're GIVING those vows these days... they just think it's romantic... they don't realise they're making a promise in the church.

So... what exactly did he think his pastor was going to say to him? The same pastor who bonded them in marriage cos they ASKED him to and gave him those vows. Now they're having trouble he's supposed to just say 'ah sure it was all a joke'.

Marriages have troubles... people divorce... but who the fuck expects their pastor to validate it? It's NOT the church's problem... it's people EXPECTING the church to change to suit their circumstances. Most people know if you get divorce, you're practically leaving your church. Ah people are so fickle... what do vows mean to anybody?

Yes you are right....over a lifetime....ALL marriages defiantly have their problems, too many people bail the second the romance is gone, and the first problem arises. My vows 27 years later still mean the same thing as they did they day we married in a church. I am no longer a church goer, but said those vows to the man I loved then and still do today....it was a promise to him, before God and witnesses, we have both kept it.

OT...how are you doing darling???

why I'll never feel comfortable with church...

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