Instant thoughts. (add yours if you like)

i just realized... the church will be the same, all the people attending will be the same and the cemetery will be the same as my father in law's funeral.
Makes me wonder if the ex will be able to handle attending.

It was so gray and misty today. I hope the weather is better tomorrow so I can get outside take some pretty pictures at lunchtime.

It's incredibly wiiiinnnddyy this morning. I wonder if there's a storm coming?

There should be no underestimating the beauty of water, in all forms.

I didn't lock my front door last night.... I need to gather my marbles before I'm totally gone!

I think I may have spread myself too thin.... I could do it all, if I had you to come home to.

Maybe this year is the time when I offer support to all of those who helped me last year. It's so hard to say no when someone needs your help, even though you're exhausted.

You knew what you were doing when you were doing it. That I'm sure of.

Don't pretend to be the fool that you're not... I'm not buying it, and those who are aren't giving you enough credit.

You're a smart man... smart enough to be able to deceive me when I felt I was most guarded.

You witnessed what you did there... but purposely ignored all you caused here. It's 'funny' the thoughts you had on him when your actions hurt me more.

Was I an easy target, is that what you thought of me?

I want to scream FUCK YOU... but I know it'll fall upon deaf ears as do all of my ramblings.

You showed me NO compassion... you treated me like gum you scraped off your shoe.

Your promises meant nothing, just lies you spoke... Seems like that's one thing you'll always be good at. Lies, lies, lies. Tell the women lies.

I should of said this all to you when I had the chance... instead I let you off easy and put the blame on myself, as if it was something I did to deserve to be treated that/this way.

Fuck you for making me feel the fool... Fuck you for picking me up then pushing me to the ground... Fuck you for all your empty words... and Fuck you for causing me to cry again so soon after I was able to stop.

You know what you did... that's why you're no longer around. Be a man and face what you did.

*i was going to edit this but it needs to be said, sucks that the outlet is on a damn message board though.

CHANGEinWAVES wrote:

You knew what you were doing when you were doing it. That I'm sure of.

Don't pretend to be the fool that you're not... I'm not buying it, and those who are aren't giving you enough credit.

You're a smart man... smart enough to be able to deceive me when I felt I was most guarded.

You witnessed what you did there... but purposely ignored all you caused here. It's 'funny' the thoughts you had on him when your actions hurt me more.

Was I an easy target, is that what you thought of me?

I want to scream FUCK YOU... but I know it'll fall upon deaf ears as do all of my ramblings.

You showed me NO compassion... you treated me like gum you scraped off your shoe.

Your promises meant nothing, just lies you spoke... Seems like that's one thing you'll always be good at. Lies, lies, lies. Tell the women lies.

I should of said this all to you when I had the chance... instead I let you off easy and put the blame on myself, as if it was something I did to deserve to be treated that/this way.

Fuck you for making me feel the fool... Fuck you for picking me up then pushing me to the ground... Fuck you for all your empty words... and Fuck you for causing me to cry again so soon after I was able to stop.

You know what you did... that's why you're no longer around. Be a man and face what you did.

*i was going to edit this but it needs to be said, sucks that the outlet is on a damn message board though.

better than no outlet at all, though. hang in there...2009 will be a great year!

I wish I was dumb. Or well...dumb enough to not know that I really don't know anything and that my life is just one long drawn out mistake after another.

And I wish I had people/someone in my life that could actually push me mentally/motivationaly/emotionally to figure out why it is that I can't get out of this rut.

I keep waiting for something, but what it is? I have no idea, no idea at all.

Maybe I should stop thinking that I am actually being open and honest with the people around me, if they actually knew the real me, would they like what they saw?

Or maybe I don't know the real me, and they actually do? Maybe I should just stop thinking, at least for now.