Man I'm in a bind

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Comments

  • yosi1
    yosi1 Posts: 3,272
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Your not a parent and I hope you never will be.

    A little harsh, no?
    you couldn't swing if you were hangin' from a palm tree in a hurricane.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Never an outside babysitter. My Mother in law lives right around the corner and my mother live 20 minutes away. They love to watch her. Why would i get a outside babysitter?

    And when i say man of the house, I am well aware what year it is. My wife has a great well paying job. My busines does well also but, being a father and a husband, a man feels the need to provide for his family. I feel that I am not sitting at home half the year.
    And my child will most definately grow up normal. I do not shelter her in any way.
    Yaknow what, just zip it. Your not a parent and I hope you never will be.

    your mother in law is ALWAYS available to watch the kid? you have been spoiled! (also kids need to be exposed to people outside their own family on a regular basis-it's called socializing. same thing you do with dogs).

    I would be a fantastic parent (except I'd have trouble with the cooking part, but that's about it). News flash, I have BEEN the other person watching the kid. I was nanny in college, so yes, I know that children can be watched by other people and will not die.

    you ARE providing for your family by watching the kid. It's so sexist to say that's "role reversal." Your kid has half your DNA, so you can watch her just as well as your wife could. there are no "roles" when I comes to gender/watching kids. that's all social construction.

    I'd love to know why people don't get banned for posts like this when I got banned for calling someone an idiot once.
  • acoustic guy
    acoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    yosi wrote:
    A little harsh, no?

    Not if you have read her posts on other parenting threads.
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Never an outside babysitter. My Mother in law lives right around the corner and my mother live 20 minutes away. They love to watch her. Why would i get a outside babysitter?

    I never had one either. always family. I do not trust strangers w/the most important love of my life. There are WAy too many horror stories about nannies and daycare. He had his 1st babysitter at age 6 - and it was my friend's sister who I have known since I was 5. and I stand by that choice wholeheartedly. Now he is 8 I would feel differently and be mor eopen to a babysitter.

    when you do not have a child it is hard to imagine such a thing. until you feel that love for your child and need to protect him/her, you can say all you want - but have no ground to stand on. sort of like a male gyno telling his patients "labor is nothing to complain about" ;)
  • acoustic guy
    acoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    your mother in law is ALWAYS available to watch the kid? you have been spoiled!

    I would be a fantastic parent (except I'd have trouble with the cooking part, but that's about it). News flash, I have BEEN the other person watching the kid. I was nanny in college, so yes, I know that children can be watched by other people and will not die.

    you ARE providing for your family by watching the kid. It's so sexist to say that's "role reversal." Your kid has half your DNA, so you can watch her just as well as your wife could. there are no "roles" when I comes to gender/watching kids. that's all social construction.

    Yes I agree, I love the time with her but it can be tough being a man. Its not sexist to say this. I wanna take care of my family and take the burden of work off my wifes shoulders. Whats wrong with that?
    Any women here see my point and agree wih me?
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • Rygar
    Rygar Posts: 8,711
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    your mother in law is ALWAYS available to watch the kid? you have been spoiled! (also kids need to be exposed to people outside their own family on a regular basis-it's called socializing. same thing you do with dogs).

    I would be a fantastic parent (except I'd have trouble with the cooking part, but that's about it). News flash, I have BEEN the other person watching the kid. I was nanny in college, so yes, I know that children can be watched by other people and will not die.

    you ARE providing for your family by watching the kid. It's so sexist to say that's "role reversal." Your kid has half your DNA, so you can watch her just as well as your wife could. there are no "roles" when I comes to gender/watching kids. that's all social construction.

    I'd love to know why people don't get banned for posts like this when I got banned for calling someone an idiot once.

    Nevermind, he's got it.
  • Stone Is God
    Stone Is God Posts: 1,331
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Yes I agree, I love the time with her but it can be tough being a man. Its not sexist to say this. I wanna take care of my family and take the burden of work off my wifes shoulders. Whats wrong with that?
    Any women here see my point and agree wih me?

    Don't sweat it dude. It's just hammered into our DNA to be the 'hunter/gatherers'. I feel the same way about my son. Make as much money as possible to make sure he never goes without the things he needs, not wants.
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    If your daughter is not quite 2, it is a good time to get her accustomed to other children. Try taking her to a PRESCHOOL facility for a quarter day...half day schedule. example Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays quarter day in school, Tuesdays/Thursdays half day in school. It will be very hard the first week or two - but, soon she will know that you are coming back for her, and school will become a natural process...move into half days - full week for a few weeks, and then move into full time schedule. You should check out the preschool facilities without your child present before you decide on one - ask to supervise the "flow" of the school, and then supervise your child on a visit.


    I noted that you were considering Day care - I am unsure if you meant it as a synonym for Preschool...it isn't a day care facility does not have to meet the same standards of operation, education levels of teachers, and regulations as a preschool. My advice to you is to take your child to a preschool, not a day care. consider that Day care is strictly providing care to children...much as a babysitter would -it is true that some day cares do offer curriculum and have ECE certificates but consider that ALL preschools do.

    as for the GTD statement, I seriously have a bunch of very funny things to add to that but don't want to mess with the tone of this posting...since it is so rare for me to be serious. :D I am a little curious as to what the hell she meant by her post - you were making very valid claims and though I do not have children, I can assure you that EVERY parent has to make this tough decision. So far I have mentioned the preschool angle, but you must know that you were extremely fortunate to be able to spend so much of your daughters first experiences with her...above everything else make sure that you are 100 percent confident in the level of care your child will receive. even if there is a minor gut feeling nagging at you - discuss it with your care provider! It is NEVER offensive when parents are involved in an open dialog.

    good luck!!!
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • Danimal
    Danimal Posts: 2,000
    edvedder913 wrote:
    I never had one either. always family. I do not trust strangers w/the most important love of my life. There are WAy too many horror stories about nannies and daycare. He had his 1st babysitter at age 6 - and it was my friend's sister who I have known since I was 5. and I stand by that choice wholeheartedly. Now he is 8 I would feel differently and be mor eopen to a babysitter.

    when you do not have a child it is hard to imagine such a thing. until you feel that love for your shild and need to protect him/her, you can say all you want - but have no ground to stand on. sort of like a male gyno telling his patients "labor is nothing to complain about" ;)


    YUP! You wouldn't leave your wallet with a stranger, would ya? Me neither!
    "I don't believe in PJ fans but I believe there is something, not too sure what." - Thoughts_Arrive


  • Phantom Pain
    Phantom Pain Posts: 9,876
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Yes I agree, I love the time with her but it can be tough being a man. Its not sexist to say this. I wanna take care of my family and take the burden of work off my wifes shoulders. Whats wrong with that?
    Any women here see my point and agree wih me?

    Exactly it's a Pride thing for guys

    The whole provider trigger goes off in our heads
    My drinking team has a hockey problem

    The ONLY thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Miss McGill



    A protuberance of flesh above the waistband of a tight pair of trousers
  • edvedder913
    edvedder913 Posts: 1,810
    failedpersephone wrote:
    If your daughter is not quite 2, it is a good time to get her accustomed to other children. Try taking her to a PRESCHOOL facility for a quarter day...half day schedule. example Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays quarter day in school, Tuesdays/Thursdays half day in school. It will be very hard the first week or two - but, soon she will know that you are coming back for her, and school will become a natural process...move into half days - full week for a few weeks, and then move into full time schedule. You should check out the preschool facilities without your child present before you decide on one - ask to supervise the "flow" of the school, and then supervise your child on a visit.


    I noted that you were considering Day care - I am unsure if you meant it as a synonym for Preschool...it isn't a day care facility does not have to meet the same standards of operation, education levels of teachers, and regulations as a preschool. My advice to you is to take your child to a preschool, not a day care. consider that Day care is strictly providing care to children...much as a babysitter would -it is true that some day cares do offer curriculum and have ECE certificates but consider that ALL preschools do.

    as for the GTD statement, I seriously have a bunch of very funny things to add to that but don't want to mess with the tone of this posting...since it is so rare for me to be serious. :D I am a little curious as to what the hell she meant by her post - you were making very valid claims and though I do not have children, I can assure you that EVERY parent has to make this tough decision. So far I have mentioned the preschool angle, but you must know that you were extremely fortunate to be able to spend so much of your daughters first experiences with her...above everything else make sure that you are 100 percent confident in the level of care your child will receive. even if there is a minor gut feeling nagging at you - discuss it with your care provider! It is NEVER offensive when parents are involved in an open dialog.

    good luck!!!

    DEFINITELY your most serious post :D have you been hijacked ;) ha ha
  • acoustic guy
    acoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    failedpersephone wrote:
    If your daughter is not quite 2, it is a good time to get her accustomed to other children. Try taking her to a PRESCHOOL facility for a quarter day...half day schedule. example Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays quarter day in school, Tuesdays/Thursdays half day in school. It will be very hard the first week or two - but, soon she will know that you are coming back for her, and school will become a natural process...move into half days - full week for a few weeks, and then move into full time schedule. You should check out the preschool facilities without your child present before you decide on one - ask to supervise the "flow" of the school, and then supervise your child on a visit.


    I noted that you were considering Day care - I am unsure if you meant it as a synonym for Preschool...it isn't a day care facility does not have to meet the same standards of operation, education levels of teachers, and regulations as a preschool. My advice to you is to take your child to a preschool, not a day care. consider that Day care is strictly providing care to children...much as a babysitter would -it is true that some day cares do offer curriculum and have ECE certificates but consider that ALL preschools do.

    as for the GTD statement, I seriously have a bunch of very funny things to add to that but don't want to mess with the tone of this posting...since it is so rare for me to be serious. :D I am a little curious as to what the hell she meant by her post - you were making very valid claims and though I do not have children, I can assure you that EVERY parent has to make this tough decision. So far I have mentioned the preschool angle, but you must know that you were extremely fortunate to be able to spend so much of your daughters first experiences with her...above everything else make sure that you are 100 percent confident in the level of care your child will receive. even if there is a minor gut feeling nagging at you - discuss it with your care provider! It is NEVER offensive when parents are involved in an open dialog.

    good luck!!!


    Big help thanks to you and everyone else.
    I gotta go work out since she is sleeping now ;)
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • Brain of J.Lo
    Brain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    Phantom Pain wrote:
    Exactly it's a Pride thing for guys

    The whole provider trigger goes off in our heads

    My husband, who has not a sexist bone in his body, has become sooooo driven to work as much as possible (even if it means getting up at 4 AM...which is SO not him, lol) to financially provide for us nowadays. He was certainly not lazy before our daughter was born or anything like that, but something has changed in him and I think men just naturally put this pressure on themselves to be the provider. While I think that is a societal issue...I also just think it comes with the territory of being a father. Becoming a parent makes you feel differently about things. I don't know how else to put it.
  • lalalalaaaaaaaa
    lalalalaaaaaaaa Posts: 2,445
    She'll get over it as soon as she makes friends at day care.
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    edvedder913 wrote:
    DEFINITELY your most serious post :D have you been hijacked ;) ha ha
    oh my serious posts are usually the ones involving child care, preschool, and parenting...

    I was a Preschool Director/Teacher for about 5 years and 4 years, respectively.
    ;)


    and my potty mouth and whips stayed at home :D
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.
  • GreenTeaDisease
    GreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    acoustic guy wrote:
    Yes I agree, I love the time with her but it can be tough being a man. Its not sexist to say this. I wanna take care of my family and take the burden of work off my wifes shoulders. Whats wrong with that?
    Any women here see my point and agree wih me?

    this is literally the most sexist thing I have ever heard. why is working a "burden" for your wife? Why would it be any easier for a woman to not work than it would be "as a man." Like I why would your wife want to stay home just because she's a woman? maybe on a personal/individual level she does prefer to stay home, but it's not because she's a woman and you're a man.

    and I am confused, who watches the kid during the months you work?

    honestly, after that gypsy thread, I'm really not surprised you feel this way. You say that *I* shouldn't have kids? Personally I'm tired of racists and male chauvinists and other ignorant, closed-minded people being permitted to procreate. I hope your daughter can succeed in life despite growing up in this kind of environment. My dad had very similar opinions to these "roles" of your's, luckily I smart enough to learn he was wrong at an early age, so it can be done.

    I honestly just sometimes can't believe the horrible things people say on this board...It's like, shocking. I thought these ideas died during our parents' generation.
  • acoustic guy
    acoustic guy Posts: 3,770
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    this is literally the most sexist thing I have ever heard. why is working a "burden" for your wife? Why would it be any easier for a woman to not work than it would be "as a man." Like I why would your wife want to stay home just because she's a woman? maybe on a personal/individual level she does prefer to stay home, but it's not because she's a woman and you're a man.

    and I am confused, who watches the kid during the months you work?

    honestly, after that gypsy thread, I'm really not surprised you feel this way. You say that *I* shouldn't have kids? Personally I'm tired of racists and male chauvinists and other ignorant, closed-minded people being permitted to procreate. I hope your daughter can succeed in life despite growing up in this kind of environment. My dad had very similar opinions to these "roles" of your's, luckily I smart enough to learn he was wrong at an early age, so it can be done.

    I honestly just sometimes can't believe the horrible things people say on this board...It's like, shocking. I thought these ideas died during our parents' generation.

    Ya know, I will say I am sorry for saying that I hope you never have kids, that was harsh.
    But for the rest of this ridiculous post I just laugh.
    Its not worth a response.

    Well maybe just a small one.
    Call your team of shrinks, I am sure your next meeting is gonna be a long one.
    LOL.
    Now that was mean, sorry, hahahahahaha

    Elvis has left the building!
    Get em a Body Bag Yeeeeeaaaaa!
    Sweep the Leg Johnny.
  • DOSW
    DOSW Posts: 2,014
    I actually agree with GTD about your issue of being the provider. There's absolutely nothing wrong with staying home and taking care of your kids while the wife works... you shouldn't feel awkward about it at all. The whole "I'm a man so I have to work and the wife has to stay with the kids" idea is an outdated, retarded philosophy. Give me a break.

    Now, if you just want to work to help out your kid, that's fine. But that's not what you made it sound like... you made it sound like you accepting the role of being the parent who's always around is somehow not right. Which is just dumb.
    It's a town full of losers and I'm pulling out of here to win
  • Steve Dunne
    Steve Dunne Posts: 4,965
    Getcha popcorn ready! :D

    Ignore feature, eh? Time to read up on this.


    (and btw, just read my post on page one. i'm a male, working, father, of 3, who knows everything about everything, and if you just read my post, and FP's, you'll find serenity and peace and a winning lottery ticket will find it's way into your wallet) :D
    I love to turn you on
  • failedpersephone
    failedpersephone Posts: 3,424
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    this is literally the most sexist thing I have ever heard. why is working a "burden" for your wife? Why would it be any easier for a woman to not work than it would be "as a man." Like I why would your wife want to stay home just because she's a woman? maybe on a personal/individual level she does prefer to stay home, but it's not because she's a woman and you're a man.
    oh my. . . his wife is the primary 'bread winner" and that can be a burden when there is a small child at home...for either parent to have to leave the home to make the bulk of the living it is a heartbreak. he was simply stating that. He didn't say that "Because she was a woman she wanted to be at home" that was YOU who said that...you make so many chip on your shoulder inferences that it is unbelievable. once again, He was saying that he felt like he needed to lift some of the burden from his wife since technically the MONEY part of their partnership is only seasonal for him. and seriously - this is the most sexist thing you have heard?? do you have nosebleeds from being up on high??
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    and I am confused, who watches the kid during the months you work?

    he said that his mother and his mother in law does this...remember you took umbrage at that earlier - he was "spoiled" remember???
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    honestly, after that gypsy thread, I'm really not surprised you feel this way. You say that *I* shouldn't have kids? Personally I'm tired of racists and male chauvinists and other ignorant, closed-minded people being permitted to procreate. I hope your daughter can succeed in life despite growing up in this kind of environment. My dad had very similar opinions to these "roles" of your's, luckily I smart enough to learn he was wrong at an early age, so it can be done.
    okay the gypsy thread is not this thread. a person can have multiple facets...i can't even begin to write everything I can think of with this section of your misguided post. seriously - your sniffling hand clasped style of "hoping" for his daughter's sake is really insufferable...and by the way Acoustic Guy isn't your daddy - so maybe you should take your own advice about the therapy thread, and get your daddy aggressions out on someone else. this man was asking for help not condemnation.
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    I honestly just sometimes can't believe the horrible things people say on this board...It's like, shocking. I thought these ideas died during our parents' generation.
    Hello POT.

    (sorry had to borrow that one again.)
    IF YOU WANT A PLATE OF MY BEEF SWELLINGTON, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY THE COVERCHARGE.

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