Okay. Men, why can't you pee straight into the toilet?

releaselauren · April 2008

Seriously.

I live with three penises (attached to bodies, of course), aged 38, 9, and 6 years old. The toilet they use the most is the "powder room" (sorry Brits, I know you must call it something else) near the kitchen. I find myself cleaning this room at least three times a day due to errant pissing.

I asked my husband, "what is the deal with peeing all over the toilet?" and he honestly replied, "well, it hangs to the left so I can't always aim it in the toilet" to which I replied, "why can't you stand 2-4 degrees to the right to get the pee-stream in there if you know you pee to the left?". I mean, after 38 years of having a penis, I would think that he would have it down to science by now?

I can forgive my young sons to a certain point....but they will have to learn how to clean or how to pee.....or both.

so, men...what is the deal? What is up with pissing all over the place and why the hell don't you clean up the splash factor...or are you a considerate pisser?

stylo17 · April 2008

releaselauren wrote:

Seriously.

I live with three penises (attached to bodies, of course), aged 38, 9, and 6 years old. The toilet they use the most is the "powder room" (sorry Brits, I know you must call it something else) near the kitchen. I find myself cleaning this room at least three times a day due to errant pissing.

I asked my husband, "what is the deal with peeing all over the toilet?" and he honestly replied, "well, it hangs to the left so I can't always aim it in the toilet" to which I replied, "why can't you stand 2-4 degrees to the right to get the pee-stream in there if you know you pee to the left?". I mean, after 38 years of having a penis, I would think that he would have it down to science by now?

I can forgive my young sons to a certain point....but they will have to learn how to clean or how to pee.....or both.

so, men...what is the deal? What is up with pissing all over the place and why the hell don't you clean up the splash factor...or are you a considerate pisser?

well ummm sometimes it splashes out of the toilet, especially if the stream is hitting the water hard.

and shaking isn't the easiest thing to aim in the world either.

and yea, sometimes we just dont care

PaperPlates · April 2008

releaselauren wrote:

Seriously.

I live with three penises (attached to bodies, of course), aged 38, 9, and 6 years old. The toilet they use the most is the "powder room" (sorry Brits, I know you must call it something else) near the kitchen. I find myself cleaning this room at least three times a day due to errant pissing.

I asked my husband, "what is the deal with peeing all over the toilet?" and he honestly replied, "well, it hangs to the left so I can't always aim it in the toilet" to which I replied, "why can't you stand 2-4 degrees to the right to get the pee-stream in there if you know you pee to the left?". I mean, after 38 years of having a penis, I would think that he would have it down to science by now?

I can forgive my young sons to a certain point....but they will have to learn how to clean or how to pee.....or both.

so, men...what is the deal? What is up with pissing all over the place and why the hell don't you clean up the splash factor...or are you a considerate pisser?

Its because we're always in such a hurry trying to do all the things you ladies have us doing that we rush the job and get sloppy. Duh!

HailHailVitalogy · April 2008

most pee on the seat is from hitting the water...sometimes it 95% goes in one direction but then sometimes it shoots out another direction for a second or two....sometimes if u aim and then break the seal, it isnt in the direction you aimed for....sometimes we multitask, such as text and piss, scratch our ass and piss

South of Seattle · April 2008

There are many factors that go into this. Here are some things to consider.

A. Has the pisser had sex recently? Sometimes this will cause a sudden change in direction. Also known as a "cumstop" in some circles.

B. Has the pisser been drinking heavily? Several drinks can create a garden hose like pressure change in the Dick.

C. Does the pisser not hold his wang while urinating?

There are several things that can cause errant pissing.

pjoasisrule · April 2008

I do not have a problem with that........unless of course I am drunk or have a boner

prljmngrl · April 2008

ROFLMAO....this topic is hilarious but oh so true.

OK guys, so if its so difficult to aim with all these extenuating factors, why not just sit and pee? Problem solved.

stylo17 · April 2008

prljmngrl wrote:

ROFLMAO....this topic is hilarious but oh so true.

OK guys, so if its so difficult to aim with all these extenuating factors, why not just sit and pee? Problem solved.

not gonna answer that haha.

and sometimes it comes out in a way that guys call a "splitter" cause it's not a straight stream. but that's typically only at first, it should straighten out, but not after some damage is done.

PaperPlates · April 2008

prljmngrl wrote:

ROFLMAO....this topic is hilarious but oh so true.

OK guys, so if its so difficult to aim with all these extenuating factors, why not just sit and pee? Problem solved.

The day they stop putting zippers in my jeans and a flap in my undies, is the day I start peeing sitting down.

Or the day women don't leave their hair ALL OVER the bathroom sink/brush/shower/etc.

redmosquito10 · April 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWpYo5_8s_M

zenith · April 2008

funny funny thread

yea - i live with two sometimes three dicks too - and yea, im always cleaning up pee

I've discovered the best way to deal with it is make them clean up yours for a while - albeit it is harder to leave a bit of pee on the rim while your sitting, you just have to improvise, or wiggle around a bit

and ? to South of Seattle - not hold it while peeing??? why wouldn't you hold it - surely their is some attempt at aiming involved??
perhaps we should be putting little ping pong balls in the loo to give them something fun to do other that scratch their arse, pick their nose, contemplate the world????

pjoasisrule · April 2008

PaperPlates wrote:

The day they stop putting zippers in my jeans and a flap in my undies, is the day I start peeing sitting down.

Or the day women don't leave their hair ALL OVER the bathroom sink/brush/shower/etc.

mammal soap?

stylo17 · April 2008

zenith wrote:

funny funny thread

yea - i live with two sometimes three dicks too - and yea, im always cleaning up pee

these things can't just regenerate!!

TheLostSoul · April 2008

grab a rattlesnake by the tail and tell me if its head points in the direction you want it to....

Allie · April 2008

OMG this is too funny!
Wait, don't you all pick up the seat? Doesn't this alleviate the problem?

SOS-Enlightening, but eeeew!
and who texts and pees? Nasty!

western pearl · April 2008

Sometimes there is a bit of a spray can effect going on as well. It'll eventually straighten out but that initial burst is hard to control. Pissing at night is pretty dangerous too. There have been quite a few times when i've gotten up in the middle of the night and don't feel like blinding myself i'll leave the light off....which makes it kinda tough to see the pot. If you don't hear water on water right away you're in trouble

releaselauren · April 2008

ok ok ok ok ok ok

from the replies so far, I understand that:

1. you can't control the stream due to lack of sex, excessive inhibition of alcohol or pure high-pressure "garden-hose" surge .

2. the penis is not held but rather hanging out there pissing at will because because man is too lazy or has a beer in his hand... or just doesn't care.

3. even if the man is responsible and really trying to be considerate, shaking the penis after pissing provides a Jackson Pollock effect on the toilet seat.

got it. still wondering who the men are who clean up after themselves.....

are you.... "whatever, that's my piss, sit on it bitch or clean it up" or

"I should really clean that up because it isn't sanitary or fair for the family to deal with that piss."

zenith · April 2008

stylo17 wrote:

these things can't just regenerate!!

hehe

well the third one comes and goes, depending on different things

and yea - i can see how that one might read too

Allie · April 2008

releaselauren wrote:

ok ok ok ok ok ok

from the replies so far, I understand that:

1. you can't control the stream due to lack of sex, excessive inhibition of alcohol or pure high-pressure "garden-hose" surge .

2. the penis is not held but rather hanging out there pissing at will because because man is too lazy or has a beer in his hand... or just doesn't care.

3. even if the man is responsible and really trying to be considerate, shaking the penis after pissing provides a Jackson Pollock effect on the toilet seat.

got it. still wondering who the men are who clean up after themselves.....

are you.... "whatever, that's my piss, sit on it bitch or clean it up" or

"I should really clean that up because it isn't sanitary or fair for the family to deal with that piss."

OMG
I can't stand it, too funny..!
Wait, I don't get it, don't y'all lift up the seat? Doesn't this solve the problem?

then we get into the whole 'you left the seat up' controversy

South of Seattle · April 2008

FYI, I wipe the lip and put the seat down.

stylo17 · April 2008

well in my apartment it's just guys but my "bathroom mate" and I still lower the seat even before we flush.

about lifting the seat, YEA WE DO, but sometimes we're too lazy to lift it. and at least in my case I'll wipe any "spillage" when I'm done.

and it's not the the LACK of sex that causes the weird shots, it's the opposite. it's "sex piss." that's why guys should pee after sex and before they go to sleep. to avoid the morning piss sting and to have SOME control in the morning.

any other questions

Okay. Men, why can't you pee straight into the toilet?

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