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Open Letter to the Ex
Bu2
Posts: 1,693
Feel free to fill in your own situation in the blanks.
Dear (blank):
I lived with you for (blank) years and all you did was soak up like a sponge everything I brought home, especially my paycheck. I kept waiting for you to do something with your job/career but all I heard was how happy you were doing what you were doing. Hey, I like people to be happy. I adore it.
But, um, meantime, can you kick in towards the rent? The cable at least? Okay, how about the car payment? No? Well.
If you can't come through in the money dept can you at least be good in bed? Or, if you can't do that, can you at least cook dinner for me and clean the house?
Ah, yes, you can cook stuff you like. I'm glad to see you know your way around the kitchen. But I don't like what you like. So let me just buy what I want and eat it. No? You think there's something wrong with that? Okay. Then stop watching me eat what I want to eat if I eat anything at all. Meantime, pay up, baby.
Can't pay up? What?! You QUIT your job???!!! In today's economy?? Are you freaking nuts?! Okay, then at least do SOMETHING!
No, buying a leaf blower and using it twice a year doesn't count. Try again.
Tell you what. Why don't you leave the leaves alone, and me along with them. Why don't you leave me with the apartment I've been paying for, and why don't you go lean on your family for assistance instead? Cuz all you do is put me down verbally every day and I'd rather come home to a quiet apartment that I've been paying for all this time anyway.
Thanks.
Dear (blank):
I lived with you for (blank) years and all you did was soak up like a sponge everything I brought home, especially my paycheck. I kept waiting for you to do something with your job/career but all I heard was how happy you were doing what you were doing. Hey, I like people to be happy. I adore it.
But, um, meantime, can you kick in towards the rent? The cable at least? Okay, how about the car payment? No? Well.
If you can't come through in the money dept can you at least be good in bed? Or, if you can't do that, can you at least cook dinner for me and clean the house?
Ah, yes, you can cook stuff you like. I'm glad to see you know your way around the kitchen. But I don't like what you like. So let me just buy what I want and eat it. No? You think there's something wrong with that? Okay. Then stop watching me eat what I want to eat if I eat anything at all. Meantime, pay up, baby.
Can't pay up? What?! You QUIT your job???!!! In today's economy?? Are you freaking nuts?! Okay, then at least do SOMETHING!
No, buying a leaf blower and using it twice a year doesn't count. Try again.
Tell you what. Why don't you leave the leaves alone, and me along with them. Why don't you leave me with the apartment I've been paying for, and why don't you go lean on your family for assistance instead? Cuz all you do is put me down verbally every day and I'd rather come home to a quiet apartment that I've been paying for all this time anyway.
Thanks.
Feels Good Inc.
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Dear (insert name),
Please find your clothing and all of your precious belongings in several hefty bags to the left of my apartment door. That's right "MY" apartment. You will find I had the superintendent change the locks so you no longer have access to my apartment.
I appreciate all the good times we may have had but since you're lazy, quit your job, suck in the kitchen and seriously suck in bed, I really have no use for you or any interest in continuing this relationship. I get more from my own hand.
Since I'm not completely without heart, here is the key to a storage facility that I rented for one month to get rid of your sorry ass. After one month, you either renew the lease in your name or it ends, in which case, you would need to remove your belongings or they will empty your things from it and sell them to make up for any rent due. Either way, I don't care....I've moved on.
Best regards,
Your ex
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
Actually, I tried all that. But I just keep giving in to this idiot out of the goodness of my heart.
My heart is no longer good. So, I could use you.
I will pay by the hour.
Heh.
But I still have all his stuff, cuz he's in a room in a boarding house and he can't take all of it at once.
So I'm storing it. Oh, and paying for his cell phone. And he's using the cell phone so well that my bill has multiplied before my eyes. It went from $80 a month to $127.
In exchange, he's letting me keep his 37" slim screen HDTV. But he wants me to give him $600 for it after I get my bonus in December.
I figure, if he's gonna keep hounding me for money, and using the cell phone for his internet usage, we're just about even come December, no?
So I told him so, tonight, and he has the nerve to turn off his cell phone. The one I'm paying for.
I'm this close to calling AT&T tomorrow and reporting his phone as being stolen.
So, vote: Yes I should, or Nay
Sincerely,
Your Spokesperson
I have eaten so much gold I crapped excellence - drtyfrnk29
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!
Thanks!!! I'll copy and paste into a document, in case I ever need it!
Vegas 93, Vegas 98, Vegas 00 (10 year show), Vegas 03, Vegas 06
VIC 07
EV LA1 08
Seattle1 09, Seattle2 09, Salt Lake 09, LA4 09
Columbus 10
EV LA 11
Vancouver 11
Missoula 12
Portland 13, Spokane 13
St. Paul 14, Denver 14
Use it in good health!
Cheers,
Bu
Dear (insert your name):
Next time, why don't you grow a spine & tell me to get out before you have to post your anger anonymously on a random message board?
Just a thought.
Sincerely,
(insert my name)
To keep you clear of the sun
You've been burned more than once
You don't think much of trust
Jaysus! :eek: Glad I'm not your ex!!! Harsh!
(love the 'completely w/out heart' bit!)
You broke my heart and I hate you for it. I hope the guy you left me for gives you an STD that makes you sterile. I hope you come home to find him screwing hookers in your living room and that the day after that he starts selling your body to his friends to pay rent. May your life be filled with nothing but pain and misery until you die childless, loveless, and alone after he has left you for a younger girl.
Sincerely,
Me
ps. I still love you and miss you every day. Please come back.
omg!! i love this one.....
Cheating on me sucked big time. BUT, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I learned alot about myself and what I want and don't want in a guy. While grieving, I worked out, got massages and spent quality times with friends. So, in a way, thanks!
M
P.S. I still think you're a jerk, though.
From this letter, I know exactly who are you.
Shhhh... let a brother fly under the radar.
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this guy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTnq268y2ms
That song is awesome. Nice.