Meeting new people...

Murderers. · July 2008

...I never know how to act, or what to do.

I'm going on a date tonight and meeting some of the ladies friends. I'm not exactly shy, but I never know how to act, or what to say when meeting new people.

Any advice guys?

kristophed · July 2008

1 - "Hello" Is a good start
2 - Laugh at things that aren't that funny and fake interest in shitty stories.

Murderers. · July 2008

kristophed wrote:

2 - Laugh at things that aren't that funny and fake interest in shitty stories.

But why would I want to hide my personality?

meme · July 2008

Murderers wrote:

But why would I want to hide my personality?

Don't. If you don't know what to say, then say nothing. There's something to genuine people, especially non-talkative ones.

Heineken Helen · July 2008

Murderers wrote:

But why would I want to hide my personality?

You're the one asking strangers for advice on how to act and what to say

If you're happy being yourself, well you don't need advice, cos it's always the best option! But if you're happy being yourself, I don't understand the purpose of the thread?

Murderers. · July 2008

Heineken Helen wrote:

I don't understand the purpose of the thread?

Just nerves I guess.

Heineken Helen · July 2008

Murderers wrote:

Just nerves I guess.

That's ok

only thing to do is have a drink or two (depending on your level of tolerance) to loosen up first and be more comfortable. That usually helps

DeLukin · July 2008

I tend to keep things on the defensive when I meet new people, so my advice would be to be a good listener - ask lots of non-stalkerish questions, and act like you honestly care about the answers (even though you probably won't). Most people love to talk about themselves, so it takes very little prodding to get them going. I guess I just hate superficial conversation, so I tend to make it more about them and less about me - which works out well because there just aren't enough good listeners in this world today, and people just looooove to talk to someone who will listen.

Works for me, anyway.

Heineken Helen · July 2008

DeLukin wrote:

I tend to keep things on the defensive when I meet new people, so my advice would be to be a good listener - ask lots of non-stalkerish questions, and act like you honestly care about the answers (even though you probably won't). Most people love to talk about themselves, so it takes very little prodding to get them going. I guess I just hate superficial conversation, so I tend to make it more about them and less about me - which works out well because there just aren't enough good listeners in this world today, and people just looooove to talk to someone who will listen.

Works for me, anyway.

that's a good one! You could have a mental list of questions prepared just in case you run out.

DeLukin · July 2008

Heineken Helen wrote:

that's a good one! You could have a mental list of questions prepared just in case you run out.

Yea, the trick is to act interested even though you aren't. And if you ask enough questions you can eventually find some common ground (oh, you like gardening? Me too!) and then the trick is to make it seem like you know nothing about the topic and get their advice (people loooooove to give advice! Especially to someone who will listen) - that way, you keep them talking, stroke their ego, and you come off like a nice guy who cares when really you don't. In my case, I offer almost nothing about myself unless pressed and I'm always amazed how rarely the conversation comes back to me unless I make it about me...

Murderers. · July 2008

I like this advice. Thanks.

elmer · July 2008

yeah a drink helps with social anxiety.

I often come across as distant when meeting new people, especially if it's a group, but it is hard to feign interest if there's no common ground and that'd maybe only worsen things. If it's your girlfriends mates then whas it matter all that much anyway? She can assure them afterwards that you're just shy and not a mr superior boring bastard snotty-nosed possible axe murderer

U R A Crazy Breed · July 2008

if your just looking to get in her pants then take DeLukin's advise and fake it.

But if you are looking to "get with" this female it is better to be sincere and honest from the get go.you don't want to portray yourself in a false manner only to have her interested in someone who you really aren't.It's easy to find "common ground" with people(music,sports,movies etc.)
and find something you really like about her (eyes,smile,laugh etc) and compliment her on it,the ladies love that(just don't lay it on too thick and over do it)

Heineken Helen · July 2008

DeLukin wrote:

Yea, the trick is to act interested even though you aren't. And if you ask enough questions you can eventually find some common ground (oh, you like gardening? Me too!) and then the trick is to make it seem like you know nothing about the topic and get their advice (people loooooove to give advice! Especially to someone who will listen) - that way, you keep them talking, stroke their ego, and you come off like a nice guy who cares when really you don't. In my case, I offer almost nothing about myself unless pressed and I'm always amazed how rarely the conversation comes back to me unless I make it about me...

Ever thought about writing a book?

eyedclaar · July 2008

Murderers wrote:

...I never know how to act, or what to do.

I'm going on a date tonight and meeting some of the ladies friends. I'm not exactly shy, but I never know how to act, or what to say when meeting new people.

Any advice guys?

You're going to want to talk about your biceps A LOT and even kiss them once in a while...

Murderers. · July 2008

eyedclaar wrote:

You're going to want to talk about your biceps A LOT and even kiss them once in a while...

Hahaha, genious!

Flannel Shirt · July 2008

Cliche, but be yourself.

And by that I mean, if you are shy when first meeting people, be shy.

I wouldnt fake interest in something you arent interested in. Thats just me. it can go wrong and make you look like a jerk. people know.

Keep asking questions, and maybe you will hit on something you have in common, then boom, conversation takes off. "oh, you all like sixsomes too?"

CityMouse · July 2008

I'm horrible at it- I get nervous and start talking too much. therefore I say you do the opposite of me. just smile and nod.

intodeep · July 2008

eyedclaar wrote:

You're going to want to talk about your biceps A LOT and even kiss them once in a while...

Make sure you mention to her that she should feel privalaged to have been invited to the gun show free of charge

libragirl · July 2008

It's not rocket science...just be yourself. The only time that could backfire is if you are a complete asshole.

eyedclaar · July 2008

libragirl wrote:

It's not rocket science...just be yourself. The only time that could backfire is if you are a complete asshole.

How did I ever meet anyone? Has to be the biceps...

Meeting new people...

Comments

Categories