I'm freaking out about rasing my son....any advice?

You have to find the bright spot in life and embrace it. You can't go through your days worried about everything. Generally, life is pretty shitty, but sometimes at the end of the week you find that certain something to make you smile and continue forward. Teach your kid to be strong, and in the meantime enjoy the world and your family before it's too late..

This is why, at 25, I feel that I probably won't ever have kids. While I can't give you much advice because I'm not in that situation, my sister is, so I feel I can observe on it. She has two kids of her own, one 10, and one 3, then adopted one more who is around 2 years old we believe(Nobody knew her exact age.)

Sadly, my sister is still a wonderful person, and a wonderful parent, yet, she's turning into one of those people. They're(my sis and bro-in-law) talking about my nephew going pro because of what some little league coaches think because they have a buddy that played for CSUF so they think they know everything about the game. They sit there and go to other LL games to 'scout' the other teams. Talk about how they can make their run from third to first. Bad mouth other teams/kids. It's just fucking sickening that I rarely go see his games anymore. And it's not just them, that's what's sad, it's 90% of the parents there. THEY"RE FUCKING 9, 10, 11 years old. It's so sad.

Plus now whatevers playing in the mainstream, of course they love, and now my sister latches onto it. Takes him to My Chemical Romance shows, Went to see as he calls them, "The Muse", they wanted me to try and get him into the Scars On Broadway show when they played their first show that I was going to. Took him to see System of a Down, and I'm just like wow, really? They now have this belief, with everything revolving around sports, that mainstream radio is like the pro's of the bands, and that if you're a club band then you're just not to be heard yet. I rarely get my sister out to check out bands anymore at local spots. She's the one that taught me about supporting indie/local/unknown/scene bands, now she just puts it away.

Okay my rant is over, but all I'm saying is that I see where you're coming from. Just stay true to yourself and raise your son as you best see fit. Don't let anything like that come in and change your views and who you are. Just be a good person, good parent, raise your child as you see fit, and stay true to your beliefs.

Never give in to the whole, keepin up with the Jones' routine. That's what's killing families these days. Maybe it's overblown out here in Southern CA cause it seems bad, so I don't know if it's this bad across the nation, but that seems to just kill families.

But at my age, the way I see it, that I shouldn't add to anything we have here, I'll just see how I can help so that this generation that's starting their lives can have a future in our society and economy. I want them to be able to have a great life too. So there are people out there still doing good, it's not all horrible. Things can turn around with the right people, and you can be one of them as well.

Right now, the best thing you can do is keep him close to you, hold him, feed him well, spend lots of time with him and take care of him, do lots of interesting stuff with him, and make your bond with him as strong as possible. Keep him with you when you're doing stuff around the house - put him in a backpack and take him around. Hold him when you cook. Let him stand on a chair and watch what you're doing. Let him dump in the sugar when you're making cookies. Let him stir a few times. The strong bond is what will get you through the tough times in the future. Just mother him.

kickoutthejams wrote:

Thanks guys, I don't mean to sound like a whinny bitch. I understand I just have to do the best I can, and that he'll probably turn out fine, and that you can't protect him from every bad thing out there, but man it just feels like so much shit is stacked against me/him. I just want him to be happy, healthy, well adjusted and not get caught up in all the bullshit that is out there today. I'm just looking for words of wisdom from people that are either raising kids today or who have observed kids being raised today and how they avoid the crap. I suppose I also should foucus on the positives, like "it can't get much worse once W. is out of office".

That's the best thing, to stay positive. Plus think, with all the shit stacked against kids these days, those ones that make it out, just like your son will, with great parenting and a mind of their own as they get older, think of what wonderful people they'll turn out to be. Maybe with all this crap out there, that the current crop of toddlers can turn out to be the best people in history after overcoming all the crap that's out there. Maybe I'm getting too positive, but it's worth a shot!

I was 9 months pregnant when George W Bush was re-elected. I mean, we sort of knew the night before but I remember waking up really early, going downstairs to watch the news....praying every step of the way. I cried when I watched the news.
That being said, I worry everyday about my 3 1/2 yr old son. It is only human.
But I don't shield him from things and I try to expose him to alot of different things and situations.
The best you can do is set a good example. No yelling and swearing in the car, be polite to people, especially the waitress or the shopkeeper, be a giving person, share what you have, laugh and smile often and read to your child.
Best of luck to you. It is alot of work but the most amazing feeling to have the love and respect of a child.

dont freak out

look around at some of the people with children

watch a little jerry springer

I am sure you are equipped to deal with raising your son no matter what society throws at you.

I have 2 children. My Son just turned 13 and my daughter is about to turn 10. I remember being in your shoes and being scared to death. The only advise I can give you is THINK THROUGH EVERY PARENTAL DESCISION YOU MAKE! Always keep the kids best intrest in mind and don't be afraid to lay the law down at an early age. If you make school their focus, most other things fall into place. Not sure if you are a person of faith, but rearing a child in church can be very helpful as well........my $.02

I think the biggest misconception in society since the beginning of society is that we actually "raise" our children.

The indisputable truth is that children raise themselves in the image of their parents. No matter what parents tell their children, their children will always behave, think, and act just like their parents whether intentionally or unintentionally.

Some of my most successful friends are people who had very little parental guidance when they were growing up. Rather, they had parents who were motivated and set good examples. As much as possible, they tried to leave it up to their children to make the right decisions. This means letting them make the wrong decisions from time to time.

Because life is not about making the right decisions. Life is about how we deal with making the wrong ones.

I think the most effective role you can have as a parent is not one of a mentor so much as a coach. You're there to root for your favorite players, and those players are your children and the game is known as "life."

Most of all, I think the best thing anyone can do for their children in order to ensure that they grow into healthy, emotionally-balanced, mature, intelligent, and productve members of society is to keep religion far, far away from anything that their children will be exposed to.

Remember, inner strength comes from our ability to find within ourselves our natural abilities, sense of direction, and emotional development that makes us who we are as human beings. For if we did not possess those attributes naturally, we would cease to be a species worth preserving.

Religions promote the gastly notion that we do not naturally possess those characteristics, and that we need to rely on a blind devotion to a supreme being and the supposed interpretation of His wishes as conveyed through a handful of masterful linguists some 2,000 years ago. As insane as it sounds, there are legions of people who to this day still practice that system of thought.

At any rate, I feel compelled to share with you a metaphorical story that I heard Dr. Laura tell on her AM radio show one evening.

A mother bird of prey had just hatched a nest full of eggs up high on the cliffs overlooking a large body of water. Upon realizing that her nest was in need of relocation for undisclosed reasons, she decided to carry each of her hatchlings one by one across that body of water to the new nest.

As she carried her first baby chick across, the newborn said, "Mom, I am grateful for your devotion. One day, I am going to reward you greatly with many fish."

She dropped that baby chick into the water, ensuring its doom.

The next hatchling she carried across expressed similar sentiments, and so the mom dropped it into the ocean.

The third and last hatchling as it was being flown across the body of water said, "Mom, I will not forget this act of kindness. And, in return, I will make sure that I will do the same for my children."

This hatchling the mom spared.

The moral of the story is that there are two styles of parenting.

On the one hand is the style of parenting which promulgates the belief that children incur a lifelong debt to their parents as their parents are the ones who brought them into this world, fed them, loved them...etc.

Unfortunately, that is probably the most popular and widely practiced style of parenting.

The second style of parenting is one that embraces the notion that we as mature, loving adults, find personal fulfillment in parenting through the joy of watching our children grow into happy, self-confident adults who will one day instill the same happiness and self-confidence in children of their own and so on and so forth.

Additionally, it's a analogy which exposes the sickening immorality of religion.

For religion states that we are to obey God because he is our creator, and that his word is law for no other reason but that we owe to him all that he has given us. It is a fallacious belief that hopefully one day all of society will leave behind as it progresses.

So, in summation, I say worry not. Instead be happy and your children will follow suit.

Not a parent so I can't tell you anything through experience. Just please teach him personal responsibility; that is the biggest thing truly lacking in American society now.

kickoutthejams wrote:

I'm really freaking out about rasing my son in today's "society". He's only a year old, so things are pretty easy right now, but I'm honestly scared to death about the future. It just seems to me that kids are so fucked up today. I think there is just too much shit going on around them. You have the internet and all the social networking stuff. Kids are constantly bombarded with marketing and peer pressure that is unlike anything we've ever seen before. I think childhood is tough enough without all this other crap. I also worry about other parents and how they act. I see these parents freaking out over little league football, soccer, baseball etc....and I just want to bitch slap them and tell them to get a fucking grip. I never see kids in our neighborhood just all hanging out and getting a pick up game of something going...it seems that everything has to be organized now and have some parental involvement which I think is really sad. And then look at the music and the "role" models or celebrities of today. And fucking reality T.V......are you kidding me with that shit. Then of course you have the state of our country and economy and the world itself....it just really freaks me out to think of my little boy being exposed to all this crap and that I'm not going to always be there to protect him from it. Am I just freaking out or does anyone else worry about this kind of stuff?

TIA

I go through the same thing my son just turned a year old and I freak out about his future all the time. I wrote a poem before he was born and it just about sums it up.




I hope you see the world like I see it through my eyes
I hope when you grow up you wont be disappointed or surprised
I will raise you to be a great person with a kind soul
I will set you on the right path and let you take your own road
I will promise to love you and give you everything you need
I will love you forever my child
I hope you will love the world you are about to see


I really think it says it all. All you can do is set them on the right path and let them take their own road.