Headlines From The Year: 2029
fanch75
Posts: 3,734
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels (due to Bush's last hoo rah).
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 .
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florexico voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels (due to Bush's last hoo rah).
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 .
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florexico voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Do you remember Rock & Roll Radio?
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments
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LOL!
a few of my favorite parts...fanch75 wrote:HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Mexifornia, formerly known as California .White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.---LOL
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 .
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florexico voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Mexifornia and Florexico---that cracks me up.0 -
What stuff do white people like in 2029?
???If I was to smile and I held out my hand
If I opened it now would you not understand?0 -
Can i play...?
Ralph Nader is launching a third-party campaign for president. Nader also ran as a third-party candidate in the 2000, 2004, 2008, 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024, presidential elections.
Yes i know, i skipped a year. Shut up.
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I like the george z bush thing.pickupyourwill wrote:LOL!
a few of my favorite parts...
Mexifornia and Florexico---that cracks me up.
I think idiocracy is a more accurate description of what awaits us though
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I'm not sure if I should just laugh or be frightened...0
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here are a couple that you missed.
JD Salanger to come out of hiding to write new Jackie Collins novel
Iraq says to America "i think you can leave now, thanks for building a theme park"
Pearl Jam to release new CD about the state of old age homes, reported to be a return to their grunge days
Tu Pac ALIVE, is now playing with Garth Brooks as a back up singer
Britney Spears wins an Oscar for her part as Hillary Clinton in the movie "what the fuck happen"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)0 -
American woman gives birth to first Hamburger/Human hybrid baby.0
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pickupyourwill wrote:ewwww gross. could you imagine!? yuck!
and the birth was sponsored by 'McDonalds' and occured in a wal mart, so sad
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Spotted Owl plague....is it a Mexifornian plot or is Bin Laden still hanging around in 2029???fanch75 wrote:HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a thousand enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.0 -
Oh know you di...ntfanch75 wrote:HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
.
SNAP0 -
This thread reminds me of Idiocracy NERDS!0
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