Difference between American, Australian and British Police

Scubascott
Posts: 815
Somebody emailed this to me this morning. I knew you guys would appreciate it.
> Question:
>
> How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer an
> Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?
>
> Answer:
>
> Pose the following question:
>
>
>
> You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
> children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around
> the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and
> charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have
> mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
>
>
>
> What do you do?
>
>
>
> UK POLICE OFFICERS Answer :
>
>
>
> Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
> look poor or oppressed?
>
> Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
>
> Could we run away?
>
> What does my wife think?
>
> What about the kids?
>
> Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
> his hand?
>
> What does the law say about this situation?
>
> Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
>
> Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
> this send to society and to my children?
>
> Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
>
> Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
> me?
>
> If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
> he was stabbing me?
>
> Should I call 999?
>
> Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
> weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
> such behaviour.
>
> If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he
> falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?
>
> If I shoot him, and lose the court case does he have the opportunity to
> sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home?
>
>
>
> AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS Answer:
>
>
>
> BANG!
>
>
>
> AMERICAN OFFICERS Answer:
>
>
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
> BANG! Click.... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
> Question:
>
> How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer an
> Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?
>
> Answer:
>
> Pose the following question:
>
>
>
> You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
> children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around
> the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and
> charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have
> mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
>
>
>
> What do you do?
>
>
>
> UK POLICE OFFICERS Answer :
>
>
>
> Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
> look poor or oppressed?
>
> Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
>
> Could we run away?
>
> What does my wife think?
>
> What about the kids?
>
> Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
> his hand?
>
> What does the law say about this situation?
>
> Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
>
> Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
> this send to society and to my children?
>
> Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
>
> Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
> me?
>
> If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
> he was stabbing me?
>
> Should I call 999?
>
> Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
> weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
> such behaviour.
>
> If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he
> falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?
>
> If I shoot him, and lose the court case does he have the opportunity to
> sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home?
>
>
>
> AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS Answer:
>
>
>
> BANG!
>
>
>
> AMERICAN OFFICERS Answer:
>
>
>
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
> BANG! Click.... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
It doesn't matter if you're male, female, or confused; black, white, brown, red, green, yellow; gay, lesbian; redneck cop, stoned; ugly; military style, doggy style; fat, rich or poor; vegetarian or cannibal; bum, hippie, virgin; famous or drunk-you're either an asshole or you're not!
-C Addison
-C Addison
Post edited by Unknown User on
0
Comments
-
by the way the scenario is worded, I would have to wonder why the police officer is on patrol with his wife and 2 children in tow.0
-
Hiya Scott! Long time no see!
LMAO!!That was very funny!
NOPE!!!
*~You're IT Bert!~*
Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift0 -
MLC2006 wrote:by the way the scenario is worded, I would have to wonder why the police officer is on patrol with his wife and 2 children in tow.
Hmm. No sense of humour whatsoever. . . I assume you are american then?It doesn't matter if you're male, female, or confused; black, white, brown, red, green, yellow; gay, lesbian; redneck cop, stoned; ugly; military style, doggy style; fat, rich or poor; vegetarian or cannibal; bum, hippie, virgin; famous or drunk-you're either an asshole or you're not!
-C Addison0 -
haha, this was hilarious. well, i prefer American police
Unfortunately i have to live with British police0 -
I've heard the same joke except instead of police officers, it is a liberal, a moderate, and a conservative.The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance,
but the illusion of knowledge.
~Daniel Boorstin
Only a life lived for others is worth living.
~Albert Einstein0
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