I've eaten a lot of Mcdonalds...

EvilToasterElf
EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
Global Cuisine

I have seen those golden arches from across a shining sea
Raised above a truckstop near Pittsburgh
Plaid regalia and unshaven faces lumbered with their super-sized meal
The smiling faces of a happy meal adhere to every scene
The toys will never last of course
I have lusted for some French fries near ancient British castles
The food delivered, sub-par even for medieval
Accented only by the dentistry that accompanied our meal
Bounded past the arch de triumph
A hungry Luftwaffe on search and destroy
But poor manners did not avail those microwave masterpieces
I would rather hurl those patties from the Eiffel tower
Landed in a coffee-shop in the heart of the Netherlands
And felt the need to munch
But though the pictures are the same the food’s different in Dutch
Around a tower filled with beer I saw that clown’s face calling
I washed it down next to a sex shop filled with black leather and
Guttural sounds
Sauerkraut and dankesein couldn’t redeem the slaughter
Between glimpses of supermodels I followed the Hamburgler in Barcelona
But the beauty ended short of a quarter-pounder
I suggest the seafood instead
The fry-guys were a blasphemy in the heart of archaic Prague
But a dollar there will fill you up with a half-dozen meals and a full gallon cup
And some pocket lint will buy you an apple pie
I left the Collosseum and a sign said “Mcdonald’s to the right”
Had a salad in a cup but even that was fried
Around the world you can’t escape Ronald’s vice-like grip
Already 80 trillion served and almost seven satisfied
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    :D I liked very much! "almost seven satisfied" ? Where did you get this astronomical number from? I want to see some proof! I need references! :D

    I like how the wrappers actually state "100% real beef" and I'm still not sure if it really is. :)
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    The best part is I've eaten Mcdonald's in six languages
  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by EvilToasterElf
    The best part is I've eaten Mcdonald's in six languages

    LOL! What do they call McNuggets in Dutch? :D

    I'll bet they call a McChicken a PouletMc in French though, right? ;):D
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    The Mcdonald's Menu is not one of the few things I remember in Amsterdam

    They serve wine at Mcdonald's in France, Beer at Mcdonald's in Germany and wierd shit at the Mcdonalds in Italy - like Pita's and what not
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    LOL! What do they call McNuggets in Dutch? :D

    I'll bet they call a McChicken a PouletMc in French though, right? ;):D

    They were opening up to two McDonalds a week in Paris at one point....when you reach that stage of globalisation you call Big Macs Big Macs and forget Pulp Fiction......
  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by FinsburyParkCarrots
    They were opening up to two McDonalds a week in Paris at one point....when you reach that stage of globalisation you call Big Macs Big Macs and forget Pulp Fiction......

    Man, two per week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( That's just brutal!
    I think I'll just call it by it's proper name: McPukes! :p
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • Maryann
    Maryann Posts: 6
    very cool poem, i enjoyed it :D
    try saying this 3 times fast:

    Eddie Vedder Shredded Cheddar
  • FinsburyParkCarrots
    FinsburyParkCarrots Seattle, WA Posts: 12,223
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    Man, two per week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( That's just brutal!
    I think I'll just call it by it's proper name: McPukes! :p

    They're starting to McBomb out of the UK now they've finally got the message that they can't set up on every street corner, where people are becoming more and more educated about food.
  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by FinsburyParkCarrots
    They're starting to McBomb out of the UK now they've finally got the message that they can't set up on every street corner, where people are becoming more and more educated about food.

    Now they can dine on "subway"! Watch out, Gerald is coming to a corner near you! And his 6" subs only have 6 grams of fat! That is, if you have absolutely no condiments or toppings and peel the meat off the bread (discard the bread) to eat it! ;):D
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • CranMalReign
    CranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    Originally posted by EvilToasterElf
    I have seen those golden arches from across a shining sea
    Raised above a truckstop near Pittsburgh

    Oh Pittsburgh... glorious city of my birth...

    How I miss you.
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  • CranMalReign
    CranMalReign Posts: 1,928
    Originally posted by Being Enlightened
    Now they can dine on "subway"! Watch out, Gerald is coming to a corner near you! And his 6" subs only have 6 grams of fat! That is, if you have absolutely no condiments or toppings and peel the meat off the bread (discard the bread) to eat it! ;):D

    Damn ignorant Canadian.

    It's Jared!!!
    • 98 Pgh
    • 00 Pgh
    • 03 Pgh|Philly|PSU|Camden 1+2|Hershey
    • 04 Boston 1|Reading
    • 05 Philly
    • 06 Camden 1+2|Pgh
    • 08 Camden 1+2|Hartford|Mansfield 2
    • 09 Philly 1 [EV]|Toronto|Spectrum 1-4
    • 10 Cleveland|Buffalo
    • 11 Philly [EV]|PJ20
    • 12 Philly
    • 13 London|Pgh|Buff|Philly 1+2|Balt
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  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    Originally posted by CranMalReign
    Damn ignorant Canadian.

    It's Jared!!!

    LOL!

    I's ignant! :D

    AND

    I'm a foo foo head ta boot! :D
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    Fins Mcdonald's owns another chain in London - a euro foofie one, I'm trying to remember the name - but they're all over - and Londoners have no problem shelling out money to Mcdonald's for panini's so it doesn't really matter

    When I lived there Tottenheim Court Road sported two Burger Kings across the street from each other, not 15 meters apart
  • Yellow
    Yellow Posts: 699
    royale with cheese please :)



    i'll get this lata, evil... hope you're well :)
    It's all yellow.


  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    Always- I'm young and invincible like everyone else was
  • Yellow
    Yellow Posts: 699
    lucky lil rugrat


    :D:D:D
    It's all yellow.


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