Lyrics?

EvilToasterElf
EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
edited February 2004 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
There is a woman
In a field of gray
She wipes the sweat off her brow
Because she works life away

And there's a man who stands
on a pedestal of gold
counting his money
but what has he sold

There's a child who watches
Daddy get taken away
He had danced with the devil
now his son has to pay

There's a girl alone
with an unhappy mirror
Her body isn't home
She holds models dearer

Chorus -
And there's a brief altercation
between the wind and the clouds
and without hesitation
the rains were forced down
and the roof was awakened
to that sorrowful sound

There's a spirit on high
Who's hopes were denied
As it looks far below with tears in it's eye
As the purity is drowned in the tides

While another preaches with head in his hands
He cannot reach them, hard as he tries
For he treads shifting sands
And his footsteps are lies

Chorus -
And there's a brief altercation
between the wind and the clouds
and without hesitation
the rains were forced down
and the roof was awakened
to that sorrowful sound
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • cassia
    cassia Posts: 277
    this kicks, totally

    what you nailed is the clean long vowels
    endwise

    they make excellent lyric-line pivots

    ilove the altercation~~
    good stuff

    and rain is never cliche, always multi-entendre
    in my book
    kosmik

    ~ludicrous wishes~
  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    Yeah, you're allowed about a trillion cliche's per song anyway - it's a side effect of music being absorbed by the popular culture, it's hard to sell records if nobody knows what the hell you're talking about - I fell in love with the Romantics when I first started writing so most of my early stuff probably makes better songs than poetry, I'll go find a couple more
  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    The Inborn Thoughts of Unborn Things


    An exodus flees into the seas.
    The holes of souls cling to the breeze.
    Caught in the swing of living tides.
    A breath of life, an audible sigh.
    A shimmering hoax on broken decrees.

    The sanguine riddle hides the key,
    Of an attempted new reality.
    But what if consent has roused each side?
    An exodus flees into the seas.

    It peers and seas from bended knees.
    Flickers and pleads, but can’t conceive.
    The barren cry when hope has died,
    From a waistline distorted by lies.
    By scattered psyche’s last entry,
    An exodus flees into the seas.
  • cassia
    cassia Posts: 277
    are they the ones who sang talking in yr sleep~
  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    Hehe, which one Blake, Coleridge, Wordsworth?
  • Yellow
    Yellow Posts: 699
    Originally posted by EvilToasterElf
    There is a woman
    In a field of gray
    She wipes the sweat off her brow
    Because she works life away

    And there's a man who stands
    on a pedestal of gold
    counting his money
    but what has he sold

    There's a child who watches
    Daddy get taken away
    He had danced with the devil
    now his son has to pay

    There's a girl alone
    with an unhappy mirror
    Her body isn't home
    She holds models dearer

    Chorus -
    And there's a brief altercation
    between the wind and the clouds
    and without hesitation
    the rains were forced down
    and the roof was awakened
    to that sorrowful sound

    There's a spirit on high
    Who's hopes were denied
    As it looks far below with tears in it's eye
    As the purity is drowned in the tides

    While another preaches with head in his hands
    He cannot reach them, hard as he tries
    For he treads shifting sands
    And his footsteps are lies

    Chorus -
    And there's a brief altercation
    between the wind and the clouds
    and without hesitation
    the rains were forced down
    and the roof was awakened
    to that sorrowful sound

    loving the chorus... :)
    It's all yellow.


  • phishgod
    phishgod Posts: 133
    altercations such as this sdeserve encouragement ETF.
    well done
    rockon,
    phishgod
  • cassia
    cassia Posts: 277
    Originally posted by EvilToasterElf
    The Inborn Thoughts of Unborn Things


    An exodus flees into the seas.
    The holes of souls cling to the breeze.
    Caught in the swing of living tides.
    A breath of life, an audible sigh.
    A shimmering hoax on broken decrees.

    The sanguine riddle hides the key,
    Of an attempted new reality.
    But what if consent has roused each side?
    An exodus flees into the seas.

    It peers and seas from bended knees.
    Flickers and pleads, but can’t conceive.
    The barren cry when hope has died,
    From a waistline distorted by lies.
    By scattered psyche’s last entry,
    An exodus flees into the seas.



    hahha~~~~blondegirl chuckling thinking of Joey and the Ramonetics.......of course you know how gooey girly i am so i dig KEATS right, and of course that would be ludicrous to a manly boyelf (giggles.....give me moss, musk roses and strawberry-hewn forests...a nightingale, lots of green things....ahhhhhhhh and tea...)

    HEY i like this, i really really do (i'm still thinking of yr copper tie/too i did like the color starting off ex-wife/) but this poem is successful in that somewhat archaic language and great Sound.

    "the holes of souls cling to the breeze"

    --this line is haunting, mesmerizing, elfin.

    cling-swing

    ohyes and love : "A shimmering hoax on broken decrees"

    (i like how, very softly, hoax echoes the x in exodus, too)

    the tight language lends to the mystery--which i like, and makes it worth a few re-reads, to get at it~~

    "she took me to her elfin grot,
    and there she wept and sigh'd full sore,
    and there i shut her wild wild eyes
    with kisses four." ~~~keats
    :)
  • EvilToasterElf
    EvilToasterElf Posts: 1,119
    I like the fact that Keats was one of the chameleon romantics, he became famous for mimicry before he was really known for his own style, too bad about that broad he spent his life chasing as well

    Thanks for the replies all

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