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never ending desete ( trying to change my style because i dont want one)REPLY......

sevensinssevensins Posts: 887
edited September 2003 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
and tell me if i suck more or less.
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My redeption, your religon
our choices, cercimsition
your desire, our life
make me want it, get the knife

-chorus-
And we dont need you now
you throw us in our seats
tie us to the boat
the never ending desete-x2

my redemtion,your religion
our choices cercimsition
your desire, our life
make me want it get the knife-x3 (building each time)

-chorus-

we dont need you......
we dont need you......
we dont need you......
we dont need you......
we dont need you......
we dont need you......now
Post edited by Unknown User on

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    setaside2setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    ouch man.. that one's tough.

    it needs another slightly more varied verse but otherwise I like it.

    and our friend the Archangel posted in a forum that does not allow responses so I wasn't able to say a thing.
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
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    i was going for a sonic youth kind of thing were we mostly jam so the verses are separated by like 3 min. it sounds better than it reads but thats me talking i wrte it so natraly me opinion is.....whats the word im looking for?
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    regarding Archangel....did you kinda think it was a joke at first and lalf at the guy and then read on and feel realy bad for doing so?...........holy shit sonic youth just came on the radio!! (disregard last statment)
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    setaside2setaside2 Posts: 1,084
    well, I always read an entire piece first.

    I believe that he may well indeed have a form of paranoid schizophrenia, though I hesitate at times to say that because my father in law has it as well, and I never necessarily mean it as a bad thing.

    He is reminiscent of the mathematician in A Beautiful Mind, where his sense of control is taken over by one thought process entirely. Ironically, this isn't the first time I've seen an angel obsessed case where they believe famous people to be the human incarnations of the archangelic crowd.

    I feel sorry for him because no one will listen, but I am not sure that I agree with his choices for the representative angels. I just will never believe that gavin Rossdale of Bush is Raguel. Raguel is the archangel of the Lords Vengeance. It is his job to see that all wrongs are immediately given justice in the world of heaven. Which would set off an interesting debate in and of itself. Because Heaven is supposed to be perfect.

    But I think that I'll have to go back and research his statements some more. Then we'll chat.
    I'm stepping in front of the gushing hydrant in a hurricane. I'd like to see the traction I keep.
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