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Drummer98136
Posts: 26
Seta,
The front lines have been my reality for 70+ days now. I have been through the hardest most stressed period of my life trying to keep my lover sane. Just because I do not post does not mean I do not read. I have in fact been here since the beginning.....
& 6 years, 6 months prior to that. So lets agree that I DO IN FACT know her better than you. I cannot even begin to explain how the last 70 days have been & I will not. Because it is none of your fucking business anymore than it has been. Why are you questioning my actions out of love for actions not associated with love ? You act as though my leaving is as simple as a coin toss. How can you say that to a perfect stranger while still acting concerned & being a mother hen for "your" hurt bird Gita. You protect this board like a Jehovahs Witness protects their little brain wash-ees. I am not on trial here & I need not prove shit to you because you only know what you know from the board. You do not know what people have been saying through private e-mails & Ger actually meeting with Gita explaining that she is being watched & followed ? All I ask is to respect Gita's world & end the fact that she thinks that everyone is in on some big to do about ED literally walking up our front steps.
You really didn't think that I actually thought Radar is ED did ya ? I know that he has to be a busy person but I do guess that he does attend the board from time to time. Gita & I share a great appreciation for their music. I needed to choose the words I used to be up front about the allegations she has.
411 Gita asked me to end it !
She is the one who doesn't want to wait any longer for ED to whisk her off. I could write & write & write & write for the rest of the day but I'm not. Most of what all of you have said seems truly real & caring but she is the one who thinks that there are 2-3 people here with 2-3 call signs each. Again, I plead for a private message to either of us with your phone #'s so we could all get our lives back to normal. I am not going to be stupid & post our actual # on such a gigantic board, that my " Brother " could not lead to anything good. Then all the freaks would definitely mess with us. By each of you talking to her on the phone, will prove to her, that you are in fact what you defend. Real, Unique, Wonderful individuals that are not playing characters in a movie that she is living through. Hopefully we can both have her back. Only then will I stop throwing anonymous spears through the Matrix.
Leave the print world & become real, we don't even care to know your real name, if your worried for some reason. Just become REAL & make an ass out of me & this just a huge misunderstanding.
Sincerely,
Drummer98136
The front lines have been my reality for 70+ days now. I have been through the hardest most stressed period of my life trying to keep my lover sane. Just because I do not post does not mean I do not read. I have in fact been here since the beginning.....
& 6 years, 6 months prior to that. So lets agree that I DO IN FACT know her better than you. I cannot even begin to explain how the last 70 days have been & I will not. Because it is none of your fucking business anymore than it has been. Why are you questioning my actions out of love for actions not associated with love ? You act as though my leaving is as simple as a coin toss. How can you say that to a perfect stranger while still acting concerned & being a mother hen for "your" hurt bird Gita. You protect this board like a Jehovahs Witness protects their little brain wash-ees. I am not on trial here & I need not prove shit to you because you only know what you know from the board. You do not know what people have been saying through private e-mails & Ger actually meeting with Gita explaining that she is being watched & followed ? All I ask is to respect Gita's world & end the fact that she thinks that everyone is in on some big to do about ED literally walking up our front steps.
You really didn't think that I actually thought Radar is ED did ya ? I know that he has to be a busy person but I do guess that he does attend the board from time to time. Gita & I share a great appreciation for their music. I needed to choose the words I used to be up front about the allegations she has.
411 Gita asked me to end it !
She is the one who doesn't want to wait any longer for ED to whisk her off. I could write & write & write & write for the rest of the day but I'm not. Most of what all of you have said seems truly real & caring but she is the one who thinks that there are 2-3 people here with 2-3 call signs each. Again, I plead for a private message to either of us with your phone #'s so we could all get our lives back to normal. I am not going to be stupid & post our actual # on such a gigantic board, that my " Brother " could not lead to anything good. Then all the freaks would definitely mess with us. By each of you talking to her on the phone, will prove to her, that you are in fact what you defend. Real, Unique, Wonderful individuals that are not playing characters in a movie that she is living through. Hopefully we can both have her back. Only then will I stop throwing anonymous spears through the Matrix.
Leave the print world & become real, we don't even care to know your real name, if your worried for some reason. Just become REAL & make an ass out of me & this just a huge misunderstanding.
Sincerely,
Drummer98136
BOOM-DA-DA-DA-DA-BOOM-BOOM-DA-DA
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to clarify these posts i must explain but my A.D.D is kicking in today and I feel nervous trying to express myself lately because i am afraid you will mis read what i write...
Drummer and I have been living together for 6 years.
he is 13 years younger than me, he is a good man, and a good friend and sadly
not
born
in my generation.....
I have not mentioned him much because I didn't want to really expose our relationship on here. We are very close. We are good friends and lovers but there has always been something wrong about us being us,,,,forever
he has his life ahead of him
and Im wanting to settle down....
we have talked and talked about this until we are blue in the face.....
he does not want to marry me or make a baby with me but somehow he stays with me. he wants me, but he doesn't want me....
does anyone understand that kind of relationship.
we stay together because...maybe its because the world is a hard place to survive alone. there are bills, housing, food, companionship and mental support. We probubly both stay together because there is no one else better. I know I am not his type, he is tall and likes long legged women and so he should! He is a tall and handsome man with bedroom eyes and a heart of a gold...he would do anything for you. so for him to share his feelings on here was a big challenge.
the sad part is, I am an square peg and he is a round one. WE can communicate with our minds sometimes, like i will think of him just before he calls on the phone, but talking to each other is hard, he doesn't understand me and i don't understand him.
He has only been trying to look out for me. He is also very brave to stay with me. not many men would stay with a woman if she were mentally ill. depression not only plagues me, it has riped apart many a relationship in my life, once people get to know me, that usually don't want to be with me. Maybe Drummer is stuck with me and i should leave him in peace. I just don't know where to go.
I have never seen him write like this before. These posts from him are very out of character....
He does not like conflict. He avoids it everywhere. This causes us many problems because he thinks relationships don't have conflicts. I said, if you have a problem with the message board, get on there and tell them what you think. I know he comes off gruff and accusational, but that is his way. I did ask him to help me by saying something and speaking out, for his own peace of mind,,,he has his own demons to fight as well. I am trying to believe in miracles while convincing him sometimes and in doing so i lose my own faith trying to make him believe....
i didn't know this would get so fucked up. i love this place. im sorry people. I don't mean it.
Although, Drummer and I are not destined to be together forever, we are together today because if it were not for him, I would not be here in Washington, the place i love so much.
Please welcome him.... He is just trying to help.
Dear God or Big Bird or Whoever...
the day I started writing,
was the day we started fighting.
I never dreamed it would cause so much pain
for so many people.
Please forgive me.
I just wanted to tell a story thats all.......
and to seven and radar. I never meant to cause either of you pain. i love you both.
i love you all.