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How To Know He's A Keeper?

g under pg under p Posts: 18,196
edited January 2008 in All Encompassing Trip
How to know he's a keeper?

Any of you ladies out there knows if he's a keeper or not?

Peace
*We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti

*MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
.....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti

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Comments

  • LikeAnOceanLikeAnOcean Posts: 7,718
    What about how to know she's a keeper?
  • wolfbearwolfbear Posts: 3,965
    I've been with mine for 31 years and am happy, so I'll stick with him! We even had a counselor tell us we wouldn't make it. So much for her - haha. But, to answer the question, you just should know. I don't know how to describe it other than that. :)
    "I'd rather be with an animal." "Those that can be trusted can change their mind." "The in between is mine." "If I don't lose control, explore and not explode, a preternatural other plane with the power to maintain." "Yeh this is living." "Life is what you make it."
  • PJaddictedPJaddicted Posts: 1,432
    I have no idea.....I've been married to mine for 25 years....and now think....it is luck. How did I know how hard he would work or what kind of father he would be or if I would be able to stay in love with him for a lifetime when I was so young? If you see red flags, you will never be able to change him, so you either don't commit or plan on accepting him for who he is 100%. So many of my friends and family have all divorced, even when you thought they were a great match....I really don't know why some make it and others don't. Maybe it is the the fact that most couples who do make it, totally accept the other person for who they are, are able to say they are sorry and forgive each other when needed and they have fun together.

    Good luck

    oxc
    ~*LIVE~LOVE~LAUGH*~

    *May the Peace of the Wilderness be with YOU*

    He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
    — Unknown
  • FlaggFlagg Posts: 5,856
    PJaddicted wrote:
    I have no idea.....I've been married to mine for 25 years....and now think....it is luck. How did I know how hard he would work or what kind of father he would be or if I would be able to stay in love with him for a lifetime when I was so young? If you see red flags, you will never be able to change him, so you either don't commit or plan on accepting him for who he is 100%. So many of my friends and family have all divorced, even when you thought they were a great match....I really don't know why some make it and others don't. Maybe it is the the fact that most couples who do make it, totally accept the other person for who they are, are able to say they are sorry and forgive each other when needed and they have fun together.

    Good luck

    oxc

    Bingo
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  • Brain of J.LoBrain of J.Lo Posts: 3,259
    I think you know when you really don't have to question it and worry about it.

    I just knew. And the fact that we even met each other, I think, was pure luck. :)
  • given2fly78given2fly78 Posts: 404
    can you picture yourselves together when you are 80, sitting on your front porch, sipping ice tea, rocking in rocking chairs saying nothing at all - just enjoying each others company?
    "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. "
    Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

    I saw Hard To Imagine LIVE at MSG!
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    uh huh.... So "he" might actually exist then? :confused:
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    After reading through that, it's now no secret to me why women are always throwing themselves at the a-holes. Not one of those slides said anything about steering clear of the arrogant, macho, shit-kicker who probably gave people wedgies in high school. To men, it is extremely obvious. We can smell those fuckers from a mile away.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • BridgeBitchBridgeBitch Posts: 87
    All excellent qualities to look for in a guy...and mine has all of them :)

    But I already knew he was a keeper before reading that.

    ...as for staying away from arrogent a-holes, I think that's something we women learn with time. A lot of younger women are attracted to that and some women never outgrow that attraction.

    But I do think a little arrogance is a sexy thing, as long as it's balanced with other things. I like that my guy has a little swagger when appropriate. ;)
    "Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."

    10/21/06 & 10/22/06 (Bridge Shows)
  • kc_pjkc_pj Posts: 284
    Guys, when do you introduce a new girlfriend to your friends?
    "Seek my part, devote myself.
    My small self. Like a book amongst the many on a shelf."


    "I'm already 30% more unpredictable."
    -Pam Beesly
  • prismprism Posts: 2,440
    this is how a woman knows:

    if he's a keeper he's already taken and kept by his wife/s.o.


    single keepers don't exist beyond around the age of 30

    :(
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    angels share laughter
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    prism wrote:
    this is how a woman knows:

    if he's a keeper he's already taken and kept by his wife/s.o.


    single keepers don't exist beyond around the age of 30

    :(

    My thoughts EXACTLY! And, if nfanel was here, she'd agree!!! It's sad, but true. :(
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    prism wrote:
    this is how a woman knows:

    if he's a keeper he's already taken and kept by his wife/s.o.


    single keepers don't exist beyond around the age of 30

    :(


    Sadly, there are people in the world who think that to be true.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    sponger wrote:
    Sadly, there are people in the world who think that to be true.

    It's been my experience on a regular basis.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    AmentsChick wrote:
    It's been my experience on a regular basis.


    You live in San Diego. The divorce rate in California is 50%, which means that a guy's status of being married doesn't really tell you much.

    If you have a tendency to pick out the bad ones, then you might benefit from using better judgment.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    sponger wrote:
    You live in San Diego. The divorce rate in California is 50%, which means that a guy's status of being married doesn't really tell you much.

    If you have a tendency to pick out the bad ones, then you might benefit from using better judgment.

    Thanks for the advice! LOL! I am still single because I refuse to date rubbish. Thanks for looking out for me though.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    AmentsChick wrote:
    Thanks for the advice! LOL! I am still single because I refuse to date rubbish. Thanks for looking out for me though.

    The problem is that you don't seem to know what rubbish is. That's probably why you resort to hasty generalizations. Point in fact is that you think I'm looking out for you when I'm just simply trying to correct your perceptions. You're a long way off from understanding men. One shudders to think of how many potential life-mates you tossed back into the sea because your scale needs calibration.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    sponger wrote:
    The problem is that you don't seem to know what rubbish is. That's probably why you resort to hasty generalizations. Point in fact is that you think I'm looking out for you when I'm just simply trying to correct your perceptions. You're a long way off from understanding men. One shudders to think of how many potential life-mates you tossed back into the sea because your scale needs calibration.

    LOL. You don't know me at all.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    AmentsChick wrote:
    LOL. You don't know me at all.

    Yet, you seem to know me quite well being that I am over 30 and single.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    sponger wrote:
    Yet, you seem to know me quite well being that I am over 30 and single.

    I'll admit I was making a generalization, but so were you.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I'll admit I was making a generalization, but so were you.

    I did no such thing.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • AmentsChickAmentsChick Posts: 6,969
    sponger wrote:
    I did no such thing.

    I'm not going to get into a pissing match with you. I will admit there are probably good men left out there, but I'm still looking for mine...and the looking (and not finding) is frustrating.
    This is the greatest band in the world -- Ben Harper

  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    prism wrote:
    this is how a woman knows:

    if he's a keeper he's already taken and kept by his wife/s.o.


    single keepers don't exist beyond around the age of 30

    :(

    well, as my friend says "my future husband is currently unhappily married." If a guy gets married as young as his twenties, there's a good chance it was a mistake and he'll be divorced by the time the good women are ready to get married anyway.
  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I'm not going to get into a pissing match with you. I will admit there are probably good men left out there,, but I'm still looking for mine...and the looking (and not finding) is frustrating.


    Well maybe you should put down the double cheeseburger and spend some time at the gym for once.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
  • ajedigeckoajedigecko Posts: 2,430
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    well, as my friend says "my future husband is currently unhappily married." If a guy gets married as young as his twenties, there's a good chance it was a mistake and he'll be divorced by the time the good women are ready to get married anyway.
    interesting.....i dated my wife through high school, through college, and have been married for 12 years. she is my best friend and we share all the same interests, except she does not like to ride bicycle the way i like to ride. as an earlier poster commented on, "being 80 and just enjoying their company". that is a perfect statement.
    so back to the original question of knowing when he/she is a "keeper"....you develop your own list of qualifications who you think you could spend the rest of your life with. if he/she does not meet a large percentage of the qualifications....failure.
    so with that said....i am fortunate to have my wife. she exceeded my qualifications and i am still trying to meet hers. :)
    live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    AmentsChick wrote:
    I'm not going to get into a pissing match with you. I will admit there are probably good men left out there,, but I'm still looking for mine...and the looking (and not finding) is frustrating.

    why are you looking? Finding the "right" person isn't something that can be controled, it's luck. that's why you are frustrated. a vast majority of people who are "with" someone are just with them because they don't think it's right to be single. being single is quite natural and quite good. being with someone can be good to of course, but if it's not the "right" person then what's the point?
  • GreenTeaDiseaseGreenTeaDisease Posts: 3,359
    ajedigecko wrote:
    interesting.....i dated my wife through high school, through college, and have been married for 12 years.

    i didn't say it was a rule.
  • ajedigeckoajedigecko Posts: 2,430
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    i didn't say it was a rule.
    i stand corrected...i did not see the phrase "a good chance" in the quote from your friend.

    now that i have reread, i will agree with your friend.
    live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.
  • ajedigeckoajedigecko Posts: 2,430
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    i didn't say it was a rule.
    also......my wife loves your screen name.
    live and let live...unless it violates the pearligious doctrine.
  • spongersponger Posts: 3,159
    GreenTeaDisease wrote:
    why are you looking? Finding the "right" person isn't something that can be controled, it's luck. that's why you are frustrated. a vast majority of people who are "with" someone are just with them because they don't think it's right to be single. being single is quite natural and quite good. being with someone can be good to of course, but if it's not the "right" person then what's the point?



    Exactly. People who are in relationships just have lower standards.
    reigning champion

    http://forums.pearljam.com/showthread.php?t=272825
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