Bill Clinton's Denver Speech to be on five-second delay

fuck

http://www.borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=6926

Former President Bill Clinton's speech at the Democratic National Convention in Denver Wednesday night will be broadcast on a five-second delay similar to that used to screen callers on talk radio programs, party officials confirmed today.

The five-second delay, customarily used to censor callers who might use profanity or other unacceptable speech on a radio show, has never before been used in the broadcast of a speech by a former President of the United States, experts believe.

But convention planners, nervous that Mr. Clinton might depart from his prepared remarks in an unacceptable way, said that they were using the delay "just in case."

"We hope and expect that Bill Clinton will give a stirring and perfectly acceptable speech, by broadcast standards," said DNC chairman Howard Dean. "However, if we see his face turning red and his forehead starting to throb, we'll be there to pull the plug."

For his part, former President Clinton said that he was "surprised" by the DNC's decision to institute the five-second delay, but added, "It's just like those motherfuckers."

cincybearcat

He better not be standing behind a podium...it may distract him.

NothingSound

_outlaw wrote:

http://www.borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=6926

Former President Bill Clinton's speech at the Democratic National Convention in Denver Wednesday night will be broadcast on a five-second delay similar to that used to screen callers on talk radio programs, party officials confirmed today.

The five-second delay, customarily used to censor callers who might use profanity or other unacceptable speech on a radio show, has never before been used in the broadcast of a speech by a former President of the United States, experts believe.

But convention planners, nervous that Mr. Clinton might depart from his prepared remarks in an unacceptable way, said that they were using the delay "just in case."

"We hope and expect that Bill Clinton will give a stirring and perfectly acceptable speech, by broadcast standards," said DNC chairman Howard Dean. "However, if we see his face turning red and his forehead starting to throb, we'll be there to pull the plug."

For his part, former President Clinton said that he was "surprised" by the DNC's decision to institute the five-second delay, but added, "It's just like those motherfuckers."

Is that a real quote??

norm

is bill gonna show us one of his titties?

sweetpotato

good, 'cause he may experience a wardrobe malfunction or sumthin'.

seriously, though- i love bill, but he has been acting a bit kooky since hill threw her name in the hat way back when. i think this is a good idea, if it's true.

godpt3

you know, back in the old days we had this thing called satire....

apparently, nobody recognizes it anymore :(

cincybearcat

godpt3 wrote:

you know, back in the old days we had this thing called satire....

apparently, nobody recognizes it anymore :(

ummm...nobody recognizes it? Just you huh? Of course this was a joke.

Strangest Tribe

meh, they shouldn't let him speak at all...
He's had his shot at fucking things up.

Maybe he'll just give us a 20minute saxophone ditty.

fuck

cincybearcat wrote:

ummm...nobody recognizes it? Just you huh? Of course this was a joke.

:rolleyes: read post #3 and 5...

Wilds

cincybearcat wrote:

He better not be standing behind a podium...it may distract him.

"Zip"