a man's strugging suggestion

asphalt
asphalt Posts: 113
edited November 2008 in Poetry, Prose, Music & Art
So frequents,
The person a humble
The fear of a jumble
A passion, I know,
Felt on her shoulder
And now we whisper and fumble
Advises …
For tears, for a boy
For a room is small for his cries
Fortune and formidable
She stirs the hair in confusion
Bearing a thought
On the way back home
To belong
To this jungle
And the joke this months
Was in this animal
An instinct at birth
Has grown into a hurdle
Let go …
And row … this boat
My sun sets at the end of this puddle
Its easy, its funny, its gradient!
It’s gradual
Give me a hand
Still wet with salt
And my lips will only mumble
The song of a kiss
A struggle, my woman is only
Felt inside
Look at me, I’m still alright
And this planet can … if it has to
Celebrate our divorce
Or
… Grumble …
If you meet me across this world
Where the ends get tied
And things begin to lose
The burden …
It’s alright, I only wish
To cuddle
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • depopulationINC
    depopulationINC Posts: 2,074
    asphalt wrote:
    So frequents,
    The person a humble
    The fear of a jumble
    A passion, I know,
    Felt on her shoulder
    And now we whisper and fumble
    Advises …
    For tears, for a boy
    For a room is small for his cries
    Fortune and formidable
    She stirs the hair in confusion
    Bearing a thought
    On the way back home
    To belong
    To this jungle
    And the joke this months
    Was in this animal
    An instinct at birth
    Has grown into a hurdle
    Let go …
    And row … this boat
    My sun sets at the end of this puddle
    Its easy, its funny, its gradient!
    It’s gradual
    Give me a hand
    Still wet with salt
    And my lips will only mumble
    The song of a kiss
    A struggle, my woman is only
    Felt inside
    Look at me, I’m still alright
    And this planet can … if it has to
    Celebrate our divorce
    Or
    … Grumble …
    If you meet me across this world
    Where the ends get tied
    And things begin to lose
    The burden …
    It’s alright, I only wish
    To cuddle



    WOW


    WOW


    That is amazing!

    One of the best posts I have ever seen

    Thanks for sharing!
    The only thing I enjoy is having no feelings....being numb rocks!

    And I won't make the same mistakes
    (Because I know)
    Because I know how much time that wastes
    (And function)
    Function is the key
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    I like the mood of this one very much. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • Mystique420
    Mystique420 Posts: 338
    Excellent!!! I love snuggles n cuddles :) I've got another damned flu bug so I could use all of the snuggles and babying I can get.... I truly turn into the biggest baby when I'm sick,... takes a great man to take care of me.... as it is I am not sleeping, getting plenty of fluids, and no TLC! Damn it!
    "To live,.... love,..... there's a song to be sung,....
    'cause we may not be the Young Ones,..."

    --first u sow the seed-- nature grows the seed-- then we eat the seed-- ;) nah,... we smoke it!
  • asphalt
    asphalt Posts: 113
    thanks a lot guys ... its been a long time since i posted ........ nothing's changed much u know ....
    but thanks
  • sistanumsy
    sistanumsy Posts: 218
    Very good and a suggestion.

    And this planet can…
    celebrate if it has to
    over our divorce, grumble
    If you meet me across this world
    Where the ends get tied
    And things begin to lose
    The burden …
    It’s alright, I only wish
    To cuddle
    K-The lost will do their best to get home, if they are loved. To our soldiers who have given what they had.
  • pinon
    pinon Posts: 427
    awesome... made me cry like a baby.......
    Life is too serious to be taken seriously
  • Being Enlightened
    Being Enlightened Posts: 5,746
    asphalt wrote:
    thanks a lot guys ... its been a long time since i posted ........ nothing's changed much u know ....
    but thanks

    It has been a long time but well worth the wait! :) Mmmm, mmmm, cuddles are the best!!!! Thanks for sharing!
    Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen
  • asphalt
    asphalt Posts: 113
    thanks again .... i see your suggestion is good ..... technically ... and acoustically .... makes more sense with the sequence of words ..............
    i'll incorporate it ..............

    but then u know ... sometimes somethings are closer to one's heart than technicalities and meanings... i wrote this within 15miutes i guess ..... words just poured themselves out .. of nowhere

    thanks anyways ... makes me realise u really read it well
  • sistanumsy
    sistanumsy Posts: 218
    somethings are closer to one's heart than technicalities and meanings...
    K-The lost will do their best to get home, if they are loved. To our soldiers who have given what they had.
  • justam
    justam Posts: 21,415
    asphalt wrote:

    but then u know ... sometimes somethings are closer to one's heart than technicalities and meanings... i wrote this within 15miutes i guess ..... words just poured themselves out .. of nowhere

    That's probably why it has such a pure feeling of love in it. :)
    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&
  • twin1
    twin1 Posts: 902
    This is truly beautiful and I loved the ending...I very much enjoyed it...thanks! :):)
    Our love must not be just words, but True Love, which shows itself in action,
    No one needs a smile more than someone who fails to give one,
    After you die...you know how to LIVE!
  • CHANGEinWAVES
    CHANGEinWAVES Posts: 10,169
    i really enjoyed this:)
    "I'm not present, I'm a drug that makes you dream"

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