It's simple:

justam

All this water scares me lately
(mine and yours)
it would be too much for me to go through the entire cycle again
my heart is stitched up and healing now and
I'd like to leave it that way
I'm afraid of repeating the entire cycle again with
hope-effort-belief-disappointment
I know the pattern too well
I see the other options hanging around
I don't feel it's a good investment for me anymore
I'm older and I have less time
I don't feel I could survive another lost year!!

hedonist

Wisdom gained

DinghyDog

-

justam

Thanks for the support ladies.