I Wont Pretend To Know Why I Can't Hear Your Voice Anymore

pepper · December 2011

I found a piece of your skull
Wedged between the floorboards
Next to the bath tub

And to think
That I didn’t believe you
When you said you were broken:
That you felt
Like something was missing.

Holding,
Touching,
Seeing, that
Stained slice of bone, I
Felt such a sense of relief;

The void
The emptiness, the
Thin
Air
Consuming your being
Was
Tangible
Was
Scientific

With feet dipped in urgency
I ran through the idea
Of you being whole again.

I placed my breath with the bone
Inside
A paper cup
And asked you to drink the words
“I can fix you”

You
Stood,
Your eyes
Static spirals
Twisted corkscrews
Piercing every inch
Of
My
Paper cup filled
Pleas

“please”

Slipping the cup from my fingers
My hands
Like tulips
Became prayers
My desires
Drowned
While
Dancing down my throat
As
you
Left

To put back

The piece of skull

Right

Where you’d left it.