Seinfeld "Sufferings"
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God I love this show...1998-06-30 Minneapolis
2003-06-16 St. Paul
2006-06-26 St. Paul
2007-08-05 Chicago
2009-08-23 Chicago
2009-08-28 San Francisco
2010-05-01 NOLA (Jazz Fest)
2011-07-02 EV Minneapolis
2011-09-03 PJ20
2011-09-04 PJ20
2011-09-17 Winnipeg
2012-06-26 Amsterdam
2012-06-27 Amsterdam
2013-07-19 Wrigley
2013-11-21 San Diego
2013-11-23 Los Angeles
2013-11-24 Los Angeles
2014-07-08 Leeds, UK
2014-07-11 Milton Keynes, UK
2014-10-09 Lincoln
2014-10-19 St. Paul
2014-10-20 Milwaukee
2016-08-20 Wrigley 1
2016-08-22 Wrigley 2
2018-06-18 London 1
2018-08-18 Wrigley 1
2018-08-20 Wrigley 2
2022-09-16 Nashville
2023-08-31 St. Paul
2023-09-02 St. Paul
2023-09-05 Chicago 1
2024-08-31 Wrigley 2
2024-09-15 Fenway 1
2024-09-27 Ohana 1
2024-09-29 Ohana 2
2025-05-03 NOLA (Jazz Fest)0 -
One of my favorites that I always remember:
"I wanted seltzer, not salsa."
"Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?? You have the seltzer..after the salsa!7/15/2011 - Benoroya Hall - (Eddie Vedder Solo) - Seattle, WA
4/2/2008 - The Center in Vancouver for Performing Arts (Eddie Vedder Solo) - Vancouver, WA
9/21/2009 Key Arena - Seattle, WA
7/22/2006 - Gorge Ampitheater - George, WA
9/1/2005 - Gorge Ampitheater - George, WA0 -
2006: 5/28
2008: 6/19, 6/24, 6/25
2009: 6/14 (EV), 10/27, 10/28
2010: 5/17
2011: 6/21 (EV), 6/22 (EV), 9/11, 9/12
2012: 9/2
2013: 10/15, 10/16, 10/19, 10/21, 10/22, 10/27, 11/23, 11/24
2014: 10/19
2016: 5/1, 5/2, 5/8
2018: 8/20, 9/2, 9/40 -
That's weird. That episode was hilarious!!!!!GivenToJam88 wrote:0 -
mca47 wrote:
That's weird. That episode was hilarious!!!!!GivenToJam88 wrote:
"Who put cookies in his mouth?"2006: 5/28
2008: 6/19, 6/24, 6/25
2009: 6/14 (EV), 10/27, 10/28
2010: 5/17
2011: 6/21 (EV), 6/22 (EV), 9/11, 9/12
2012: 9/2
2013: 10/15, 10/16, 10/19, 10/21, 10/22, 10/27, 11/23, 11/24
2014: 10/19
2016: 5/1, 5/2, 5/8
2018: 8/20, 9/2, 9/40 -
Was that, "These pretzels are making me thirsty!!"?GivenToJam88 wrote:Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful0 -
Newch91 wrote:
Was that, "These pretzels are making me thirsty!!"?GivenToJam88 wrote:
Yeah, "The Alternate Side".7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 20 -
[Monks']
GEORGE: (standing) All right, I'm gonna move my car, my meter's up. Can't park in
this city.
GARY: (standing) Hey, George, listen. You know that company I work for, they own
that parking lot around the corner.
GEORGE: Wha, that's a Kinney lot?
GARY: Yeah, and there's a space opening up, and I could get it for you. You just
have to pay the tax on it. It'd be like, fifty a month.
GEORGE: Fifty bucks a month, that's incredible! Okay, thanks.
GARY: All right, I got lunch, all right.
GEORGE: You still owe me a secret.
GARY: All right, listen. There is something I haven't told you, all right?
GEORGE: Yeah?
GARY: Yeah, but uhm, you can't tell Jerry.
GEORGE: What do think I tell Jerry everything? It's not like he's my wife.
GARY: Okay. Well, the thing is, I've been living a lie.
GEORGE: Just one? I'm living like twenty. (chuckles) What's yours?
(Always kills me)
GARY: Well, I (laughs) I never actually had cancer. (laughs) I'll see you.
(leaves)Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful0 -
Newch91 wrote:[Monks']
GEORGE: (standing) All right, I'm gonna move my car, my meter's up. Can't park in
this city.
GARY: (standing) Hey, George, listen. You know that company I work for, they own
that parking lot around the corner.
GEORGE: Wha, that's a Kinney lot?
GARY: Yeah, and there's a space opening up, and I could get it for you. You just
have to pay the tax on it. It'd be like, fifty a month.
GEORGE: Fifty bucks a month, that's incredible! Okay, thanks.
GARY: All right, I got lunch, all right.
GEORGE: You still owe me a secret.
GARY: All right, listen. There is something I haven't told you, all right?
GEORGE: Yeah?
GARY: Yeah, but uhm, you can't tell Jerry.
GEORGE: What do think I tell Jerry everything? It's not like he's my wife.
GARY: Okay. Well, the thing is, I've been living a lie.
GEORGE: Just one? I'm living like twenty. (chuckles) What's yours?(Always kills me)
GARY: Well, I (laughs) I never actually had cancer. (laughs) I'll see you.
(leaves)
JERRY: Hey. How'd it go with Gary?
GEORGE: (shifty, avoiding Jerry's eyes) Fine, fine.
JERRY: Really?
GEORGE: Yeah.
JERRY: You look like something's on your mind.
GEORGE: No. Nothing. Fine.
JERRY: So, that's your poker face.
GEORGE: My regular face.
JERRY: No it isn't. I've seen your regular face. That is not it.
GEORGE: What are you saying?
JERRY: All right George, c'mon, what d'you got?
GEORGE: I got nothing.
JERRY: What you got, a pair of bullets?
GEORGE: What you talking about?
JERRY: Two pair? Three of a kind?
GEORGE: Will you stop it?
JERRY: Oh my God, you got a flush! You're holding a flush!
GEORGE: I don't have a flush.
JERRY: A full house? You got a full house? Turn 'em over George, I wanna see 'em. Come on, I'm calling! (thumps hand on table) What d'you got!
GEORGE: Gary Fogel never had cancer!I can't go the library anymore, everyone STINKS!!0 -
At Jerry's apartment.
Elaine: Melrose Place?
Jerry: Yes. Melrose Place.
Elaine: I just didn't know you watched that.
Jerry: Well I do.
Elaine: I mean every time I mention it you never say anything or join in the conversation.
Jerry: Well maybe I was a little embarrassed.
Elaine: You mean this whole time we could have been discussing Sydney and Michael and Jane...
Jerry: And Billy and Jake and Allison, yes we could have discussed it.
Elaine: Why? Why were you so embarrassed?
Jerry: The point is I'm going to be taking this lie detector test and that needle's going to be going wild.
Elaine: That is *so* stupid. Why don't you just confess?
Jerry: It's too stupid to confess. Look at what I'm confessing to.
Elaine: So what are you going to do?
Jerry: I don't know. Maybe I can beat the machine.
Elaine: Oh, who do you think you are? Costanza?
Jerry: Hey you know what? I have access to one of the most deceitful, duplicitous, deceptive minds of our
time. Who better to advise me?Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful0 -
Is Seinfeld Scripts not the best site on the internet???1998-06-30 Minneapolis
2003-06-16 St. Paul
2006-06-26 St. Paul
2007-08-05 Chicago
2009-08-23 Chicago
2009-08-28 San Francisco
2010-05-01 NOLA (Jazz Fest)
2011-07-02 EV Minneapolis
2011-09-03 PJ20
2011-09-04 PJ20
2011-09-17 Winnipeg
2012-06-26 Amsterdam
2012-06-27 Amsterdam
2013-07-19 Wrigley
2013-11-21 San Diego
2013-11-23 Los Angeles
2013-11-24 Los Angeles
2014-07-08 Leeds, UK
2014-07-11 Milton Keynes, UK
2014-10-09 Lincoln
2014-10-19 St. Paul
2014-10-20 Milwaukee
2016-08-20 Wrigley 1
2016-08-22 Wrigley 2
2018-06-18 London 1
2018-08-18 Wrigley 1
2018-08-20 Wrigley 2
2022-09-16 Nashville
2023-08-31 St. Paul
2023-09-02 St. Paul
2023-09-05 Chicago 1
2024-08-31 Wrigley 2
2024-09-15 Fenway 1
2024-09-27 Ohana 1
2024-09-29 Ohana 2
2025-05-03 NOLA (Jazz Fest)0 -
IIIII love it!!!vant0037 wrote:Is Seinfeld Scripts not the best site on the internet???
Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful0 -
Kramer: I found out I really like depriving myself of things...it's fun!1998-06-30 Minneapolis
2003-06-16 St. Paul
2006-06-26 St. Paul
2007-08-05 Chicago
2009-08-23 Chicago
2009-08-28 San Francisco
2010-05-01 NOLA (Jazz Fest)
2011-07-02 EV Minneapolis
2011-09-03 PJ20
2011-09-04 PJ20
2011-09-17 Winnipeg
2012-06-26 Amsterdam
2012-06-27 Amsterdam
2013-07-19 Wrigley
2013-11-21 San Diego
2013-11-23 Los Angeles
2013-11-24 Los Angeles
2014-07-08 Leeds, UK
2014-07-11 Milton Keynes, UK
2014-10-09 Lincoln
2014-10-19 St. Paul
2014-10-20 Milwaukee
2016-08-20 Wrigley 1
2016-08-22 Wrigley 2
2018-06-18 London 1
2018-08-18 Wrigley 1
2018-08-20 Wrigley 2
2022-09-16 Nashville
2023-08-31 St. Paul
2023-09-02 St. Paul
2023-09-05 Chicago 1
2024-08-31 Wrigley 2
2024-09-15 Fenway 1
2024-09-27 Ohana 1
2024-09-29 Ohana 2
2025-05-03 NOLA (Jazz Fest)0 -
"Fake, fake...fake, fake"0
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That's one tuck, and one no tuck0
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LloydXmas wrote:That's one tuck, and one no tuck I'm like George on this. The sheets can not be tucked. My feet will be sideways. That's why I never make my bed. Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful0 -
Newch91 wrote:LloydXmas wrote:That's one tuck, and one no tuck I'm like George on this. The sheets can not be tucked. My feet will be sideways. That's why I never make my bed.
This is an endless battle in my house. I truly do love to "swish and swirl," and my wife is a bed-making fascist. From time to time we have to employ the "separate blankets" program. 1998-06-30 Minneapolis
2003-06-16 St. Paul
2006-06-26 St. Paul
2007-08-05 Chicago
2009-08-23 Chicago
2009-08-28 San Francisco
2010-05-01 NOLA (Jazz Fest)
2011-07-02 EV Minneapolis
2011-09-03 PJ20
2011-09-04 PJ20
2011-09-17 Winnipeg
2012-06-26 Amsterdam
2012-06-27 Amsterdam
2013-07-19 Wrigley
2013-11-21 San Diego
2013-11-23 Los Angeles
2013-11-24 Los Angeles
2014-07-08 Leeds, UK
2014-07-11 Milton Keynes, UK
2014-10-09 Lincoln
2014-10-19 St. Paul
2014-10-20 Milwaukee
2016-08-20 Wrigley 1
2016-08-22 Wrigley 2
2018-06-18 London 1
2018-08-18 Wrigley 1
2018-08-20 Wrigley 2
2022-09-16 Nashville
2023-08-31 St. Paul
2023-09-02 St. Paul
2023-09-05 Chicago 1
2024-08-31 Wrigley 2
2024-09-15 Fenway 1
2024-09-27 Ohana 1
2024-09-29 Ohana 2
2025-05-03 NOLA (Jazz Fest)0 -
vant0037 wrote:Newch91 wrote:LloydXmas wrote:That's one tuck, and one no tuck I'm like George on this. The sheets can not be tucked. My feet will be sideways. That's why I never make my bed.
This is an endless battle in my house. I truly do love to "swish and swirl," and my wife is a bed-making fascist. From time to time we have to employ the "separate blankets" program. Shows: 6.27.08 Hartford, CT/5.15.10 Hartford, CT/6.18.2011 Hartford, CT (EV Solo)/10.19.13 Brooklyn/10.25.13 Hartford
"Becoming a Bruce fan is like hitting puberty as a musical fan. It's inevitable." - dcfaithful0 -
vant0037 wrote:Newch91 wrote:LloydXmas wrote:That's one tuck, and one no tuck I'm like George on this. The sheets can not be tucked. My feet will be sideways. That's why I never make my bed.
This is an endless battle in my house. I truly do love to "swish and swirl," and my wife is a bed-making fascist. From time to time we have to employ the "separate blankets" program.
Is it a counter-clockwise swirl? :P 7/2/06 - Denver, CO
6/12/08 - Tampa, FL
8/23/09 - Chicago, IL
9/28/09 - Salt Lake City, UT (11 years too long!!!)
9/03/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 1
9/04/11 - East Troy, WI - PJ20 - Night 20 -
Was there a knuckle in there?2000: Camden 1, 2003: Philly, State College, Camden 1, MSG 2, Hershey, 2004: Reading, 2005: Philly, 2006: Camden 1, 2, East Rutherford 1, 2007: Lollapalooza, 2008: Camden 1, Washington D.C., MSG 1, 2, 2009: Philly 1, 2, 3, 4, 2010: Bristol, MSG 2, 2011: PJ20 1, 2, 2012: Made In America, 2013: Brooklyn 2, Philly 2, 2014: Denver, 2015: Global Citizen Festival, 2016: Philly 2, Fenway 1, 2018: Fenway 1, 2, 2021: Sea. Hear. Now. 2022: Camden, 2024: Philly 2, 2025: Pittsburgh 1
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