"Off He Goes" and Alzheimer's

fisttothejaw

I was writing in another thread about how some PJ lyrics connect with important relationships in my life, specifically my marriage, but I was reminded of another song and how it relates to my relationship with my father.

My dad has always been one of my best friends. A great support to me, always there with a joke or a story. Probably the most easygoing guy I've ever met, and I love him to death. Even had him as the best man at my wedding. But he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2004. And it's been a really tough thing to watch over these last few years -

I know the song "Off He Goes" was written about something else, and I've seen where Ed kind of relates it to himself, the way he functions in friendships, etc. But those lyrics ring so true when I think about my father. Sometimes he's right there with me, and we're talking, joking. And then I'll see it on his face - and he'll drift off into kind of a fog...

Know a man, his face seems pulled and tense
Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds
So i approach with tact
Suggest that he should relax
But he's always moving much too fast

(My father gets that look - that tight, drawn, furrowed brow, when he's getting a bit confused, trying to think... and I'm always telling him to relax a bit...)


I wonder about his insides
Its like his thoughts are too big for his size
He's been taken... where, i don't know?

(And then there are the moments where he's "back." It's like it's the old days, and I'm thinking he's right there with me, we'll joke around, and he'll remember stuff, old stories and everything... but it only lasts for a few minutes, and then it's like I kind of lose him again)

And now i rub my eyes, for he has returned
Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned
For he still smiles...
And he's still strong
Nothing's changed, but the surrounding bullshit that has grown
And now he's home
And we're laughing like we always did
My same old, same old friend
Until a quarter-to-ten
I saw the strain creep in
He seems distracted and i know just what is gonna happen next
Before his first step
He's off again

It's so heavy. I had tears on my face hearing this song at Gibson in L.A. this past fall. But it's so great to have a voice, a lyric, to express what I see and feel. Again, I know it's not the original intent of the lyric, but that's the great thing about art - it's malleable and adaptable, and this song really feels like it was meant for us...

I wonder if anyone else has seen a similar connection in these lyrics...

pandora

I don't, I was lucky before my parents left this world they did not succumb to that disease just a little old timers forgetfulness and dementia.
I just wanted to say though that your words really touched my heart, I am sorry for this but also joyful how much love you have for your Dad and that you will be there to support him no matter what.
Its very touching you are a fine son.

fisttothejaw

hey Pandora, thanks for saying that... I really appreciate it

andrewb

I recently lost my Grandma to this disease and I'm sorry to hear about your Dad knowing how tough it is. I definitely see the connection you have made with this song, it's not one I ever made before. Hang in there

inlet13

I'm sorry to hear about your father. That has to be hard. And I do see why you would relate the lyrics to that.

My grandmother had alzheimer's. My sister, who works in medicine, said once "it's nature's sedative". In a way, for older folks in particular, I think she's right. What she meant is that as people age, it's tough for them to live with the pain (physical pain, pain of losing people close to them ect.) In a sense, Alzheimer's numbs that. Clearly, this isn't to say that Alzheimer's isn't horrible! It certainly is. Just an explanation for why it exists, which can sometimes help... even if you don't buy the explanation.

Anyway, I've always felt Off He Goes is about someone who has anxiety issues myself.

Grandmas Jam

thank you for that, my grandfather was also diagnosed with alzheimers. very touching story, i know how it goes. thanks
Joe

Break The Sky

One of the most satisfying benefits of being a Pearl Jam fan is having the opportunity to share with others how Pearl Jam has affected our lives and hearing about how Pearl Jam has likewise enriched the lives of others. I am forever dumbfounded by how deep Pearl Jam's music is that fans such as yourself can take a song abstract from its original meaning and apply it so well to their own circumstances. Though I am so sorry for your circumstances, all the while I am so happy that Off he Goes will always have a special and unique meaning to you. My best wishes to you and yours!

fisttothejaw

very cool to read all these responses - I've definitely noticed the "numbness" factor that seems to accompany Alzheimer's, and it does seem like it's harder for those who have to watch it than it even is for the victim of the disease... there's a strange level of mercy in that, I think... and there's enough time to make sure I never leave anything unsaid, which is a priceless gift.

and yeah, it's amazing how the lyrics find themselves working their way into your everyday life... In the Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne makes reference to "the heart's native language," and that great communicators have to have this almost extra-sensory quality that allows them to tap into that...

And there are times when EV's lyrics have that quality for sure... it's the kind of thing that allows a lyric to spread far beyond its original intent and become applicable to a myriad of situations and experiences... that's the mark of a really great song, in my opinion - it goes from only telling the ARTIST's story, and begins to tell OUR story, the listeners' stories.

blondieblue227

wonderful insight inlet13. i'll remember that.


to OP
very touching story. thanks for sharing. i wish you the best.

cbbjr

Great post fisttothejaw and very touching story. It is threads like this that make this board, the band, and the fans so interesting.

mysticweed

It's the same with my mother. She has been in a "home" for 5 months now. Very sad. I feel for you. Your father is fortunate to have your care and devotion.
I wish you peace and comfort.

CantKeepMeHere

Thank you for sharing

ms.honeymeister

i always thought this of "sleight of hand"

stardust1976

Wow. I'd never thought of it like that before. But I can see exactly where you're coming from. My Grandma was diagnosed about a year ago now, and it's so sad to see the woman who I love so much, reduced to this. The confusion is the big one. She couldn't remember how to make pizza recently, and it reduced her to tears. Just forgot what she was doing and couldn't get the thoughts back. And then there's the other times where she just isn't 'there'. Its a really really sad and horrible disease.

Lets hope the research can help.

fisttothejaw

wow, I need to take a new look at "Sleight of Hand" then...

which parts in particular?

Little Italy

fisttothejaw wrote:

very cool to read all these responses - I've definitely noticed the "numbness" factor that seems to accompany Alzheimer's, and it does seem like it's harder for those who have to watch it than it even is for the victim of the disease... there's a strange level of mercy in that, I think... and there's enough time to make sure I never leave anything unsaid, which is a priceless gift.

and yeah, it's amazing how the lyrics find themselves working their way into your everyday life... In the Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne makes reference to "the heart's native language," and that great communicators have to have this almost extra-sensory quality that allows them to tap into that...

And there are times when EV's lyrics have that quality for sure... it's the kind of thing that allows a lyric to spread far beyond its original intent and become applicable to a myriad of situations and experiences... that's the mark of a really great song, in my opinion - it goes from only telling the ARTIST's story, and begins to tell OUR story, the listeners' stories.

The lyrics definitely have a way of pertaining to situations going on in one's personal life. That's why I fuckin love these guys! The other day as I got into the car to go to court (depressed) 'Wishlist" came on as soon as put the car in drive. It's Funny how sometimes songs seem to come on when your in the middle of the very situation that the lyrics apply to.


Good luck with everything. Cherish your remaining time with your father. You never realize how much time is taken for granted until you find yourself wishing for it to come back. Take care........

pjambama

I can relate my grandfather is dying from complications of Alzheimer's. most likely in the next few weeks.the disease has taken over his body and mind and he can't eat now. sorry to hear about you're dad. alzheimers is very tough on the family and the person living with it.

the plus of having that disease would be when somthing sad has happened like when my grandmother died last year we went thru the whole process of mourning and burying her and the next day he didn't even remember that she died, they had been married for 60 years+ so the plus of that disease is that the person with the disease doesn't remember the negative or sad things that we all experience in life

fisttothejaw wrote:

I was writing in another thread about how some PJ lyrics connect with important relationships in my life, specifically my marriage, but I was reminded of another song and how it relates to my relationship with my father.

My dad has always been one of my best friends. A great support to me, always there with a joke or a story. Probably the most easygoing guy I've ever met, and I love him to death. Even had him as the best man at my wedding. But he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2004. And it's been a really tough thing to watch over these last few years -

I know the song "Off He Goes" was written about something else, and I've seen where Ed kind of relates it to himself, the way he functions in friendships, etc. But those lyrics ring so true when I think about my father. Sometimes he's right there with me, and we're talking, joking. And then I'll see it on his face - and he'll drift off into kind of a fog...

Know a man, his face seems pulled and tense
Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds
So i approach with tact
Suggest that he should relax
But he's always moving much too fast

(My father gets that look - that tight, drawn, furrowed brow, when he's getting a bit confused, trying to think... and I'm always telling him to relax a bit...)


I wonder about his insides
Its like his thoughts are too big for his size
He's been taken... where, i don't know?

(And then there are the moments where he's "back." It's like it's the old days, and I'm thinking he's right there with me, we'll joke around, and he'll remember stuff, old stories and everything... but it only lasts for a few minutes, and then it's like I kind of lose him again)

And now i rub my eyes, for he has returned
Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned
For he still smiles...
And he's still strong
Nothing's changed, but the surrounding bullshit that has grown
And now he's home
And we're laughing like we always did
My same old, same old friend
Until a quarter-to-ten
I saw the strain creep in
He seems distracted and i know just what is gonna happen next
Before his first step
He's off again

It's so heavy. I had tears on my face hearing this song at Gibson in L.A. this past fall. But it's so great to have a voice, a lyric, to express what I see and feel. Again, I know it's not the original intent of the lyric, but that's the great thing about art - it's malleable and adaptable, and this song really feels like it was meant for us...

I wonder if anyone else has seen a similar connection in these lyrics...

Isaac

fisttothejaw wrote:

I was writing in another thread about how some PJ lyrics connect with important relationships in my life, specifically my marriage, but I was reminded of another song and how it relates to my relationship with my father.

My dad has always been one of my best friends. A great support to me, always there with a joke or a story. Probably the most easygoing guy I've ever met, and I love him to death. Even had him as the best man at my wedding. But he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2004. And it's been a really tough thing to watch over these last few years -

I know the song "Off He Goes" was written about something else, and I've seen where Ed kind of relates it to himself, the way he functions in friendships, etc. But those lyrics ring so true when I think about my father. Sometimes he's right there with me, and we're talking, joking. And then I'll see it on his face - and he'll drift off into kind of a fog...

Know a man, his face seems pulled and tense
Like he's riding on a motorbike in the strongest winds
So i approach with tact
Suggest that he should relax
But he's always moving much too fast

(My father gets that look - that tight, drawn, furrowed brow, when he's getting a bit confused, trying to think... and I'm always telling him to relax a bit...)


I wonder about his insides
Its like his thoughts are too big for his size
He's been taken... where, i don't know?

(And then there are the moments where he's "back." It's like it's the old days, and I'm thinking he's right there with me, we'll joke around, and he'll remember stuff, old stories and everything... but it only lasts for a few minutes, and then it's like I kind of lose him again)

And now i rub my eyes, for he has returned
Seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned
For he still smiles...
And he's still strong
Nothing's changed, but the surrounding bullshit that has grown
And now he's home
And we're laughing like we always did
My same old, same old friend
Until a quarter-to-ten
I saw the strain creep in
He seems distracted and i know just what is gonna happen next
Before his first step
He's off again

It's so heavy. I had tears on my face hearing this song at Gibson in L.A. this past fall. But it's so great to have a voice, a lyric, to express what I see and feel. Again, I know it's not the original intent of the lyric, but that's the great thing about art - it's malleable and adaptable, and this song really feels like it was meant for us...

I wonder if anyone else has seen a similar connection in these lyrics...

Great post, lots of thought.
I would have never connected Off He Goes to alzheimer's. Your recitation of the lyrics coupled with the history of you and your father, the lyrics seem to perfectly align with one another, crazy.

I'm sorry about your situation, but thankful for PJ.

joe2468

i feel like i need to post on this thread......

first off i feel your pain FISTTOfTHEJAW ...

just this past easter sunday my girlfriends grand farther past away due to complication of ALZHEIMERS ...

its a horrible horrible disease ... after reading the OP i had to play the song and "think" ....and i forwarded it to my girlfriend also and she says thank you ....

dpmay

wow, i have no personal connection to alzheimers, yet this post still moved me. i will think about you and your father the next time i hear off he goes.

fisttothejaw

Joe - it's moving to know that this particular analysis of the song could be helpful in your girlfriend's situation - very cool. and to read each poster's stories about family connections with the disease, through parents, grandparents, etc... wow...

I guess the song, at its core, deals with the fleeting nature of human connection. Time, distance, disease, they all conspire one way or another to pull us away from the ones we love... it seems inevitable, but I say fight it. I know in the end this illness is going to do its damage, as it already has. But we're still clinging to those moments when "we're laughing like we always did."

I'm going to go call him now...