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First Listen: I Am Mine
pearljammer
Posts: 237
wrote this a while back, thought I'd share...
~~~~~~~
First Listen - "I Am Mine"
by Arthur Ramsay
September 16, 2002
Listening to new Pearl Jam music is a life changing experience for me. I can listen to any sort of music. I love most of it too. I can have it on in the background, and feed off of the energy, perhaps subconsciously, the way I am now, with "Yellow Ledbetter" on low volume. I sometimes listen to a song twenty times before I really listen to it. Something different happens when the music hits home for the first time. Emotions can transform from sadness to gladness. And the change that happens seems so easy and progressive, even though before you heard the song; or the solo; or the one lyric that opened your heart to the sonic waves, you felt immobilized. I first heard "I Am Mine" in April of 2002, at the beginning of my last week at Carleton University.
Picture this: you're broke, a starving student living in residence without a loonie for the chip machine. The cafeteria opens at 10:45 am, and it's midnight. What do you do? Why, you stay up all night pirating music, of course. I was in this situation, alone in my room, which was beginning to be a lot more frequent. Dawn broke and I had found new Pearl Jam material. "Last Soldier" and "I Am Mine". The only listened to the latter one time, and the portal opened. The words became my creed for months to follow. The opening chords were my wake up call. Like a vacuum had run me over and taken all semblance of depression away, I was changed.
Perhaps you need a little more background.
Rewind to September, 2001. The beginning of my ever turbulent relationship with the girl. I met her during Frosh, when I arrived at Carleton. I didn't know it that afternoon, but I fell in love with her right away. Love at first sight. When I knew that I loved her, I realized that I had felt that way for her since we first met. After all the grief, I still feel that way for her. I always will. The human heart really is amazingly strong.
Let's zip forward now, past good and bad memories, ones that I cherish nonetheless. I hadn't seen the girl in almost a month, and I missed her. No, I longed for her, as I do now, today, while I write this, five months since I last shared a cigarette outside with her, since I last felt close to anyone. I had heard "I Am Mine" from the Bridge School Benefit, and it was roughly 8 o'clock in the morning. I fell asleep, with no concern for my hunger. But in the light of day, I had a strange dream. "Get out of bed and go to the cafeteria while you still can," said the voice. I leaped out of bed, straight into my jeans, and I rushed out the door, all on reflex, like an automaton, built from the cosmos and designated a purpose at the will of another power. Someone has his eye on me, and has the purest intentions. I took the elevator to the lobby. When I got out, almost as if that same power had his eye on more people than just myself, I saw her, and she saw me, for the first time all over again. Something strange happened then. The motions of the people around me slowed to the pace of turtles, as did mine. Time, fate, had singled me out. I had spent a lunar cycle telling myself that I couldn't love her anymore and that I would go home. Everything will be different, better, when you get home. But in one instant, I fell in love with her again. I couldn't help it. It wasn't for me to decide. And all I could do was ask her to go outside for a cigarette. I extended my hand and held hers for a fleeting moment. We shared some cigarettes outside in bright sunshine, and started again something we both had tried, unsuccessfully, to let go. We listened to "I Am Mine" in my room, and I told her that I would be leaving for home. The moment was wrought with emotion. And it sparked the renewal of sorts of our relationship. I did leave for home. I'm torn between the thought that coming home was a mistake, and the hope that I'm here because of the same force that woke me from a dream in April, the same force that walked me on the sunny path that September afternoon. I tend to believe the latter.
You can probably tell that this writ is about my life and not entirely about "I Am Mine". Much like music is for me. It is an accompaniment to my life. The sounds of Mike McCready's solos can wrench my heart. It's a form of catharsis, and is very healthy. I can't put the music down into words, but I offer the lyrics for your own personal thoughts. I will let you interpret the lyrics and even their connection with my life for yourself. Thank you for reading.
"I Am Mine" - words by Eddie Vedder
The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind
The north is to south what the clock is to time
There's east and there's west and there's everywhere life
I know I was born and I know that I'll die
The in between is mine
I am mine.
And the feeling, it gets left behind
All the innocence lost at one time
Significant, behind the eyes
There's no need to hide...
We're safe tonight
The ocean is full cause everyone's crying
The full moon is looking for friends at high tide
The sorrow grows bigger when the sorrow's denied
I only know my mind
I am mine.
And the meaning, it gets left behind
All the innocents lost at one time
Significant, behind the eyes
There's no need to hide...
We're safe tonight
And the feelings that get left behind
All the innocence broken with lies
Significance, between the lines
We may need to hide...
And the meanings that get left behind
All the innocents lost at one time
We're all different behind the eyes
There's no need to hide.
~~~~~~
thanks
~~~~~~~
First Listen - "I Am Mine"
by Arthur Ramsay
September 16, 2002
Listening to new Pearl Jam music is a life changing experience for me. I can listen to any sort of music. I love most of it too. I can have it on in the background, and feed off of the energy, perhaps subconsciously, the way I am now, with "Yellow Ledbetter" on low volume. I sometimes listen to a song twenty times before I really listen to it. Something different happens when the music hits home for the first time. Emotions can transform from sadness to gladness. And the change that happens seems so easy and progressive, even though before you heard the song; or the solo; or the one lyric that opened your heart to the sonic waves, you felt immobilized. I first heard "I Am Mine" in April of 2002, at the beginning of my last week at Carleton University.
Picture this: you're broke, a starving student living in residence without a loonie for the chip machine. The cafeteria opens at 10:45 am, and it's midnight. What do you do? Why, you stay up all night pirating music, of course. I was in this situation, alone in my room, which was beginning to be a lot more frequent. Dawn broke and I had found new Pearl Jam material. "Last Soldier" and "I Am Mine". The only listened to the latter one time, and the portal opened. The words became my creed for months to follow. The opening chords were my wake up call. Like a vacuum had run me over and taken all semblance of depression away, I was changed.
Perhaps you need a little more background.
Rewind to September, 2001. The beginning of my ever turbulent relationship with the girl. I met her during Frosh, when I arrived at Carleton. I didn't know it that afternoon, but I fell in love with her right away. Love at first sight. When I knew that I loved her, I realized that I had felt that way for her since we first met. After all the grief, I still feel that way for her. I always will. The human heart really is amazingly strong.
Let's zip forward now, past good and bad memories, ones that I cherish nonetheless. I hadn't seen the girl in almost a month, and I missed her. No, I longed for her, as I do now, today, while I write this, five months since I last shared a cigarette outside with her, since I last felt close to anyone. I had heard "I Am Mine" from the Bridge School Benefit, and it was roughly 8 o'clock in the morning. I fell asleep, with no concern for my hunger. But in the light of day, I had a strange dream. "Get out of bed and go to the cafeteria while you still can," said the voice. I leaped out of bed, straight into my jeans, and I rushed out the door, all on reflex, like an automaton, built from the cosmos and designated a purpose at the will of another power. Someone has his eye on me, and has the purest intentions. I took the elevator to the lobby. When I got out, almost as if that same power had his eye on more people than just myself, I saw her, and she saw me, for the first time all over again. Something strange happened then. The motions of the people around me slowed to the pace of turtles, as did mine. Time, fate, had singled me out. I had spent a lunar cycle telling myself that I couldn't love her anymore and that I would go home. Everything will be different, better, when you get home. But in one instant, I fell in love with her again. I couldn't help it. It wasn't for me to decide. And all I could do was ask her to go outside for a cigarette. I extended my hand and held hers for a fleeting moment. We shared some cigarettes outside in bright sunshine, and started again something we both had tried, unsuccessfully, to let go. We listened to "I Am Mine" in my room, and I told her that I would be leaving for home. The moment was wrought with emotion. And it sparked the renewal of sorts of our relationship. I did leave for home. I'm torn between the thought that coming home was a mistake, and the hope that I'm here because of the same force that woke me from a dream in April, the same force that walked me on the sunny path that September afternoon. I tend to believe the latter.
You can probably tell that this writ is about my life and not entirely about "I Am Mine". Much like music is for me. It is an accompaniment to my life. The sounds of Mike McCready's solos can wrench my heart. It's a form of catharsis, and is very healthy. I can't put the music down into words, but I offer the lyrics for your own personal thoughts. I will let you interpret the lyrics and even their connection with my life for yourself. Thank you for reading.
"I Am Mine" - words by Eddie Vedder
The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind
The north is to south what the clock is to time
There's east and there's west and there's everywhere life
I know I was born and I know that I'll die
The in between is mine
I am mine.
And the feeling, it gets left behind
All the innocence lost at one time
Significant, behind the eyes
There's no need to hide...
We're safe tonight
The ocean is full cause everyone's crying
The full moon is looking for friends at high tide
The sorrow grows bigger when the sorrow's denied
I only know my mind
I am mine.
And the meaning, it gets left behind
All the innocents lost at one time
Significant, behind the eyes
There's no need to hide...
We're safe tonight
And the feelings that get left behind
All the innocence broken with lies
Significance, between the lines
We may need to hide...
And the meanings that get left behind
All the innocents lost at one time
We're all different behind the eyes
There's no need to hide.
~~~~~~
thanks
EvenFLOW PsYcHo #29
~ is your Pearl Jam cup half empty, or 1/2 Full?
~ is your Pearl Jam cup half empty, or 1/2 Full?
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