Mom chases down teen son after he steals her BMW, spanks him with belt on side of road

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  • brianluxbrianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 40,592
    brianlux said:
    brianlux said:
    Spanking and beating someone with a belt are not the same thing.
    ?
    I'm stating the obvious for those who think this public "spanking" was OK.  It was not "spanking".  It was a beating with a belt.  And personal reprimands have not damn business being displayed on social media.  Only a person with no class or taste would do that.
    Psychical reprimands have no business happening at all, on social media or in private. Not in a modern society. It's 2019.

    A stern talk should happen in private, because it's always embarrassing hearing parents yell at their kids in public. Like when sitting on the tram trying to listen to Boston 2010 or when trying to eat at your favorite vegetarian lunch place. 

    brianlux said:
    brianlux said:
    Spanking and beating someone with a belt are not the same thing.
    ?
    I'm stating the obvious for those who think this public "spanking" was OK.  It was not "spanking".  It was a beating with a belt.  And personal reprimands have not damn business being displayed on social media.  Only a person with no class or taste would do that.
    Psychical reprimands have no business happening at all, on social media or in private. Not in a modern society. It's 2019.

    A stern talk should happen in private, because it's always embarrassing hearing parents yell at their kids in public. Like when sitting on the tram trying to listen to Boston 2010 or when trying to eat at your favorite vegetarian lunch place. 
    It’s all out of line, it’s all counterproductive, and it’s all unnecessary.  

    Just another  kid who learned that the way to solve a problem is with violence.
    I totally agree.  I was brought up by G.I. generation parents who were brought up to believe in that "spare the rod, spoil the child" b.s.  Getting whooped did more harm than good by a long shot.  Spanking just teaches kids that the parent is too impatient to take the time to talk to the kid or too lacking in creative thinking to find other solutions like time outs or withholding treats.  The other major issue I have is with parents saying "If you do that again you won't get any dessert,"  and then not following up on what they said.  At least my parents never did that. If they made a threat, they followed through with it.
    “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man [or woman] who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
    Variously credited to Mark Twain or Edward Abbey.













  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 36,481
    Lucky a passing motorist didn’t shoot her thinking it was a car jacking, what with Texans thinking they’re the law with their concealed carry.
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  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Lucky a passing motorist didn’t shoot her thinking it was a car jacking, what with Texans thinking they’re the law with their concealed carry.
    Maybe the kid is lucky the mom was not packing heat...
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • benjsbenjs Toronto, ON Posts: 8,929
    It's pretty naive if you do not think parents in Sweden have spanked their kids...it's happening.


    When have I said that I don't think it happens in Sweden?
    Sweden was the first country in the world to forbid violence against a child (corporal punishment) in 1966.

    Just saying.

    See above where you continued to brag about the moral superiority exhibited in Sweden compared to the USA. If your government are making laws that you're proud of but you admit that citizens are ignoring the laws that make you proud, maybe your pride is a bit unearned.

    Just saying. 
    '05 - TO, '06 - TO 1, '08 - NYC 1 & 2, '09 - TO, Chi 1 & 2, '10 - Buffalo, NYC 1 & 2, '11 - TO 1 & 2, Hamilton, '13 - Buffalo, Brooklyn 1 & 2, '15 - Global Citizen, '16 - TO 1 & 2, Chi 2

    EV
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  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,739
    edited May 2019
    benjs said:
    It's pretty naive if you do not think parents in Sweden have spanked their kids...it's happening.


    When have I said that I don't think it happens in Sweden?
    Sweden was the first country in the world to forbid violence against a child (corporal punishment) in 1966.

    Just saying.

    See above where you continued to brag about the moral superiority exhibited in Sweden compared to the USA. If your government are making laws that you're proud of but you admit that citizens are ignoring the laws that make you proud, maybe your pride is a bit unearned.

    Just saying. 
    sanctimonious is one of my favorite words.  
    Post edited by mcgruff10 on
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 28,867
    edited May 2019
    benjs said:
    It's pretty naive if you do not think parents in Sweden have spanked their kids...it's happening.


    When have I said that I don't think it happens in Sweden?
    Sweden was the first country in the world to forbid violence against a child (corporal punishment) in 1966.

    Just saying.

    See above where you continued to brag about the moral superiority exhibited in Sweden compared to the USA. If your government are making laws that you're proud of but you admit that citizens are ignoring the laws that make you proud, maybe your pride is a bit unearned.

    Just saying. 


    Flawed little yarn you spun there -- but being proud of sane laws not allowing physical assault towards children isn't the same as saying that people don't break laws in a country. Which would be weird to assume. Or be spinning yarns in bad faith. 

    I don't know how it works in your country - a law automatically makes criminal activity drop to 0%? That would be impressive. So no murders, or rapes, or beatings at all then?


    The US high up in the charts yet again:

    The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations  – losing on average between four and seven children every day to child abuse and neglect. 

    More than 70% of Americans agreed in 2012 that, “it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard spanking.”

    Compared to a country who decided to have sane laws regarding this:

    According to a survey, the Swedes' attitude to barnaga has changed sharply since the 1960s when a majority (about 55%) of the country's parents were positive to the children's cause and a majority (about 90%) of the country's parents had agate their children, compared with only 10% during the 2000s.


    So, since the 60s - in which country has it been safer for kids to grow up in? To not have to endure psychical abuse, from parents or other adults? I think it would be the country deciding it's not okey to hit kids. The first country to do so. So let me be a little bit proud. And ofcourse of all the countries that followed.
    Post edited by Spiritual_Chaos on
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 28,867

    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • pjhawkspjhawks Posts: 12,171
    benjs said:
    It's pretty naive if you do not think parents in Sweden have spanked their kids...it's happening.


    When have I said that I don't think it happens in Sweden?
    Sweden was the first country in the world to forbid violence against a child (corporal punishment) in 1966.

    Just saying.

    See above where you continued to brag about the moral superiority exhibited in Sweden compared to the USA. If your government are making laws that you're proud of but you admit that citizens are ignoring the laws that make you proud, maybe your pride is a bit unearned.

    Just saying. 
    Flawed little yarn you spun there -- but being proud of sane laws not allowing physical assault towards children isn't the same as saying that people don't break laws in a country. Which would be weird to assume. Or be spinning yarns in bad faith. 

    I don't know how it works in your country - a law automatically makes criminal activity drop to 0%? That would be impressive. So no murders, or rapes, or beatings at all then?


    The US high up in the charts yet again:

    The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations  – losing on average between four and seven children every day to child abuse and neglect. 

    More than 70% of Americans agreed in 2012 that, “it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard spanking.”

    Compared to a country who decided to have sane laws regarding this:

    According to a survey, the Swedes' attitude to barnaga has changed sharply since the 1960s when a majority (about 55%) of the country's parents were positive to the children's cause and a majority (about 90%) of the country's parents had agate their children, compared with only 10% during the 2000s.


    So, since the 60s - in which country has it been safer for kids to grow up in? To not have to endure psychical abuse, from parents or other adults? I think it would be the country deciding it's not okey to hit kids. The first country to do so. So let me be a little bit proud. And ofcourse of all the countries that followed.
    we get it, you think we suck but you seemed obsessed with us and our political system.
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 28,867
    edited May 2019
    pjhawks said:
    benjs said:
    It's pretty naive if you do not think parents in Sweden have spanked their kids...it's happening.


    When have I said that I don't think it happens in Sweden?
    Sweden was the first country in the world to forbid violence against a child (corporal punishment) in 1966.

    Just saying.

    See above where you continued to brag about the moral superiority exhibited in Sweden compared to the USA. If your government are making laws that you're proud of but you admit that citizens are ignoring the laws that make you proud, maybe your pride is a bit unearned.

    Just saying. 
    Flawed little yarn you spun there -- but being proud of sane laws not allowing physical assault towards children isn't the same as saying that people don't break laws in a country. Which would be weird to assume. Or be spinning yarns in bad faith. 

    I don't know how it works in your country - a law automatically makes criminal activity drop to 0%? That would be impressive. So no murders, or rapes, or beatings at all then?


    The US high up in the charts yet again:

    The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations  – losing on average between four and seven children every day to child abuse and neglect. 

    More than 70% of Americans agreed in 2012 that, “it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard spanking.”

    Compared to a country who decided to have sane laws regarding this:

    According to a survey, the Swedes' attitude to barnaga has changed sharply since the 1960s when a majority (about 55%) of the country's parents were positive to the children's cause and a majority (about 90%) of the country's parents had agate their children, compared with only 10% during the 2000s.


    So, since the 60s - in which country has it been safer for kids to grow up in? To not have to endure psychical abuse, from parents or other adults? I think it would be the country deciding it's not okey to hit kids. The first country to do so. So let me be a little bit proud. And ofcourse of all the countries that followed.
    we get it, you think we suck but you seemed obsessed with us and our political system.
    I just think no one should have the right to assault kids. And I think they should have protection from society to not have to withstand psychical assault growing up. Wherever they may live.

    Sorry for that.
    Post edited by Spiritual_Chaos on
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    pjhawks said:
    benjs said:
    It's pretty naive if you do not think parents in Sweden have spanked their kids...it's happening.


    When have I said that I don't think it happens in Sweden?
    Sweden was the first country in the world to forbid violence against a child (corporal punishment) in 1966.

    Just saying.

    See above where you continued to brag about the moral superiority exhibited in Sweden compared to the USA. If your government are making laws that you're proud of but you admit that citizens are ignoring the laws that make you proud, maybe your pride is a bit unearned.

    Just saying. 
    Flawed little yarn you spun there -- but being proud of sane laws not allowing physical assault towards children isn't the same as saying that people don't break laws in a country. Which would be weird to assume. Or be spinning yarns in bad faith. 

    I don't know how it works in your country - a law automatically makes criminal activity drop to 0%? That would be impressive. So no murders, or rapes, or beatings at all then?


    The US high up in the charts yet again:

    The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations  – losing on average between four and seven children every day to child abuse and neglect. 

    More than 70% of Americans agreed in 2012 that, “it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard spanking.”

    Compared to a country who decided to have sane laws regarding this:

    According to a survey, the Swedes' attitude to barnaga has changed sharply since the 1960s when a majority (about 55%) of the country's parents were positive to the children's cause and a majority (about 90%) of the country's parents had agate their children, compared with only 10% during the 2000s.


    So, since the 60s - in which country has it been safer for kids to grow up in? To not have to endure psychical abuse, from parents or other adults? I think it would be the country deciding it's not okey to hit kids. The first country to do so. So let me be a little bit proud. And ofcourse of all the countries that followed.
    we get it, you think we suck but you seemed obsessed with us and our political system.
    I just think no one should have the right to assault kids. And I think they should have protection from society to not have to withstand psychical assault growing up. Wherever they may live.

    Sorry for that.
    So what would you have done in her situation?  Call the police?  Pat him on the head with a warning not to do this again?  Stealing your parent's car is not the same as breaking curfew.  I would have been fine with her calling the police and putting his arse in the system... 

    It is funny how so many come to the defence of this delinquent with no answers what they would have done, or without thinking of severity of this CRIME which could have been much worse if he had struck and hit a pedestrian or caused an accident.
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,808
    edited May 2019
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 
    Post edited by HughFreakingDillon on
    Darwinspeed, all. 

    Cheers,

    HFD




  • pjhawkspjhawks Posts: 12,171
    I think she should have pulled him out of the car and made him sit on the side of the road in timeout.
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,821
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,739
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,821
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 28,867
    edited May 2019
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  
    Would you go all in assaulting your wife with a belt if she took off in your car? Be it a BMW, a Volvo or a Saab.
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,739
    edited May 2019
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  (in my opinion) if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  They looked like half swings however I am no expert.    
    Post edited by mcgruff10 on
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 28,867
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,739
    edited May 2019
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    Thank you for your insight mr. sanctimonious.  And remember to please ignore my posts, I honestly have nothing to say to you.  
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTlqT8ELJ2I

    Here is a video interviewing the Mom and the Child involved.  The kid has accepted responsibility.  It is also not his first car theft...

    Give Peas A Chance…
  • HughFreakingDillonHughFreakingDillon Winnipeg Posts: 35,808
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  (in my opinion) if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  They looked like half swings however I am no expert.    
    I personally don't think how hard the kid is being hit is relevant. to me raising my hand to my kid as a threat is nearly as (or as) bad as actually following through. 
    Darwinspeed, all. 

    Cheers,

    HFD




  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    Thank you for your insight mr. sanctimonious.  And remember to please ignore my posts, I honestly have nothing to say to you.  
    When did you move to San Diego?  I thought you were NJ forever...lol?
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • pjhawkspjhawks Posts: 12,171
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    have you been in a bad mood or something?  seriously i don't remember you being as contentious as you have seem to be the last few weeks.   i mean i don't necessarily agree with McGruff (as i said in my 1st post i'm on the fence about this one) but i don't see the need to insult either. 
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,739
    pjhawks said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    have you been in a bad mood or something?  seriously i don't remember you being as contentious as you have seem to be the last few weeks.   i mean i don't necessarily agree with McGruff (as i said in my 1st post i'm on the fence about this one) but i don't see the need to insult either. 
    Agreed, we can actually have a civil discussion without insulting.  The Swedish guy likes to insult me for some reason.  I try to keep my cool but man does the shit get old.  I've dropped obvious hints but he continues to insult me.   
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,739
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  (in my opinion) if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  They looked like half swings however I am no expert.    
    I personally don't think how hard the kid is being hit is relevant. to me raising my hand to my kid as a threat is nearly as (or as) bad as actually following through. 
    I have five kids and have never raised my hand to any of them, however I have no problem with what this woman did after her son STOLE her car for a second time.  I just don't agree with posting it online.
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • Halifax2TheMaxHalifax2TheMax Posts: 36,481
    Studies have shown that screaming at your kids can be as damaging or more so than physical abuse. 
    09/15/1998 & 09/16/1998, Mansfield, MA; 08/29/00 08/30/00, Mansfield, MA; 07/02/03, 07/03/03, Mansfield, MA; 09/28/04, 09/29/04, Boston, MA; 09/22/05, Halifax, NS; 05/24/06, 05/25/06, Boston, MA; 07/22/06, 07/23/06, Gorge, WA; 06/27/2008, Hartford; 06/28/08, 06/30/08, Mansfield; 08/18/2009, O2, London, UK; 10/30/09, 10/31/09, Philadelphia, PA; 05/15/10, Hartford, CT; 05/17/10, Boston, MA; 05/20/10, 05/21/10, NY, NY; 06/22/10, Dublin, IRE; 06/23/10, Northern Ireland; 09/03/11, 09/04/11, Alpine Valley, WI; 09/11/11, 09/12/11, Toronto, Ont; 09/14/11, Ottawa, Ont; 09/15/11, Hamilton, Ont; 07/02/2012, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/04/2012 & 07/05/2012, Berlin, Germany; 07/07/2012, Stockholm, Sweden; 09/30/2012, Missoula, MT; 07/16/2013, London, Ont; 07/19/2013, Chicago, IL; 10/15/2013 & 10/16/2013, Worcester, MA; 10/21/2013 & 10/22/2013, Philadelphia, PA; 10/25/2013, Hartford, CT; 11/29/2013, Portland, OR; 11/30/2013, Spokane, WA; 12/04/2013, Vancouver, BC; 12/06/2013, Seattle, WA; 10/03/2014, St. Louis. MO; 10/22/2014, Denver, CO; 10/26/2015, New York, NY; 04/23/2016, New Orleans, LA; 04/28/2016 & 04/29/2016, Philadelphia, PA; 05/01/2016 & 05/02/2016, New York, NY; 05/08/2016, Ottawa, Ont.; 05/10/2016 & 05/12/2016, Toronto, Ont.; 08/05/2016 & 08/07/2016, Boston, MA; 08/20/2016 & 08/22/2016, Chicago, IL; 07/01/2018, Prague, Czech Republic; 07/03/2018, Krakow, Poland; 07/05/2018, Berlin, Germany; 09/02/2018 & 09/04/2018, Boston, MA; 09/08/2022, Toronto, Ont; 09/11/2022, New York, NY; 09/14/2022, Camden, NJ; 09/02/2023, St. Paul, MN;

    Libtardaplorable©. And proud of it.

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  • Meltdown99Meltdown99 None Of Your Business... Posts: 10,739
    Studies have shown that screaming at your kids can be as damaging or more so than physical abuse. 
    You are not supposed to yell either...they just need a good talking to.../s
    Give Peas A Chance…
  • Spiritual_ChaosSpiritual_Chaos Posts: 28,867
    pjhawks said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    have you been in a bad mood or something?  seriously i don't remember you being as contentious as you have seem to be the last few weeks.   i mean i don't necessarily agree with McGruff (as i said in my 1st post i'm on the fence about this one) but i don't see the need to insult either. 
    Calling them as I see them.

    Agree to disagree on pointing out child abuse defending being an "insult".

    Peace be with you.
    "Mostly I think that people react sensitively because they know you’ve got a point"
  • mcgruff10mcgruff10 New Jersey Posts: 27,739
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    mcgruff10 said:
    what I find funny is thinking that being against violence is somehow equated with "defending this delinquent". it's not defending him. it's not being ok with abuse as a way of solving problems, regardless if it's breaking curfew or stealing a car. 

    If i was that parent? I would have called the cops and had my kid arrested. scare the shit out of them, don't beat it out of them. 

    I got the wooden spoon a few times in my life. the last time was when I was WAY too old for it. I broke curfew, ironically enough. My dad snapped. never happened again. I would never hit my kids. never. My dad is a great guy, but that's how he grew up. he probably got it way more than he gave it to me. it's just the evolution of punishment. it stops with me. 

    It's intellectually and morally lazy to argue that there are no reasonable alternatives to violence in any parenting situation or that violence is necessary to show that the situation is serious. Unfortunately, the fact that this woman is apparently comfortable with having this filmed and posted online suggests that this isn't the first time she's used violence in raising her kids, and when people are okay with using violence, they don't tend to work that hard to find other alternatives. Their kids don't learn to expect anything better, either. Without knowing that specific family it's hard to say what the right alternative is, but there are several good ones. 

    13 is pretty young. 13 year olds have barely functioning frontal lobes. This is one of those situations that was being discussed a few days ago - we all did stupid and dangerous stuff when we were young, and most of us got lucky and didn't kill ourselves or someone else. 
    I definitely did some stupid stuff when I was young but I think many of us never stole our parent's car.  Don't make excuses for the kid, he definitely got what he deserved.  In fact I think he got off light.  Calling the cops would have been good but then the mother would have had to pay the fines and lawyers fees.  

    Who said I'm making excuses for the kid? As per HFD, calling out violence does not equate to making excuses, and no kid "deserves" to get beaten by their parent. 
    My bad on that.  However I think in the case the punishment is deserving.  if you look at the video the kid definitely didn't get beat.  
    Defending child abuse and psychical assault of a child. 


    Thank you for your insight mr. sanctimonious.  And remember to please ignore my posts, I honestly have nothing to say to you.  
    When did you move to San Diego?  I thought you were NJ forever...lol?
    For now I am stuck in dirty jersey but eventually I want to retire in Montana.  (although I don't think wifey is going to go for that lol)
    I'll ride the wave where it takes me......
  • oftenreadingoftenreading Victoria, BC Posts: 12,821
    Studies have shown that screaming at your kids can be as damaging or more so than physical abuse. 
    You are not supposed to yell either...they just need a good talking to.../s
    Yeah, there is a whole range of options that doesn’t involve physical violence and screaming, neither of which are actually effective means of discipline. 
    my small self... like a book amongst the many on a shelf
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