How do you tell a girl theyre not good enough for your mate?

pjfan31 · October 2011

This girl and I try and help each other out...

At the moment she wants me to try for a mate of mine who normally dates 9/10 10/10 girls... HE has done a bit of modelling himself...

This girl is about a 6... plus I know my mate isn't into her... And he is not up himself, just Why would you play a game in 3rd grade when you play in first grade all the time?

So I made something up on the spot and said he is kind of seeing someone at the moment... I couldnt exactly say she is not good enough right? I had to be tactful...

How do you deal with this?

SatansFuton · October 2011

I actually ran into this same situation (it wasn't that she wasn't attractive enough, he just didn't like her) in high school, and was in your shoes. In the middle of it. What I did was I downplayed the guy (it wasn't hard, this friend was kind of a douche and I told her some true stories) which turned her off, and played the "he's not good enough for you" card as opposed to the other way around.

Or you could go the "you're not his type" route, but that isn't always taken the way it's meant. Not being his type doesn't necessarily mean not pretty enough, just not his type. But that route has some very thin ice.

pjfan31 · October 2011

It's funny, cause she is trying to set me up with one of her friends... I met a couple of times, we were working in the same school...

And she said 'if you don't try for him, I won't try so hard for you'

Which is pretty much why I said, I can't try if he is with someone... right?

And my 6 included her whole personality.. she isnt ugly, but she will chat and chat online, as soon as you see her in person, she is so hard to talk to... totally changes... Can hardly get two words out of her.. I've known her quite a while and still struggle to get two words out...

Fifthelement · October 2011

Be honest. Tell her he's not into her, but not why. She may not be a ten to him; but she's an +11 for someone else. I, myself, am okay with telling a white lie to prevent hurt feelings, so telling her he's into someone else may be okay. However, it may not be enough if she's persistent. You know her best. Good luck

appie · October 2011

Fifthelement wrote:

Be honest. Tell her he's not into her, but not why. She may not be a ten to him; but she's an +11 for someone else. I, myself, am okay with telling a white lie to prevent hurt feelings, so telling her he's into someone else may be okay. However, it may not be enough if she's persistent. You know her best. Good luck

Well said...There is no need to put the girl down when she is not his type,Its could be hard for her to know it but thats a fact that comes when its not both sides that feel the same way.But why its numbered? I feel that the most importent fact is character,not the looks.Looks are welcome,but never most be the reason to fall in love with someone else...

pjfan31 · October 2011

appie wrote:

Fifthelement wrote:

Be honest. Tell her he's not into her, but not why. She may not be a ten to him; but she's an +11 for someone else. I, myself, am okay with telling a white lie to prevent hurt feelings, so telling her he's into someone else may be okay. However, it may not be enough if she's persistent. You know her best. Good luck

Well said...There is no need to put the girl down when she is not his type,Its could be hard for her to know it but thats a fact that comes when its not both sides that feel the same way.But why its numbered? I feel that the most importent fact is character,not the looks.Looks are welcome,but never most be the reason to fall in love with someone else...

I'm not denying personality is important...

But you tellin me you never put a rank on a girl... God, I've had girls rank me... Didnt score too well

It's not derogatory,at least it's not my intentions...

CorduroyGirl · October 2011

Rank thing is ok in funny situations, not in a serious one... But moving on, if I was in your shoes (which I have been) I'd just tell her he's not into having a relationship now or the same you said, that he was into someone... Personally, I think the "not his type" thing is almost always interpreted as "you're not good enough", even when it's not the case, so I wouldn't go there... I think you did alright

appie · October 2011

Looks is the first thing that people made interest in eachother,It starts with that.
And offcourse i did rank before...Or it will be done for me..

But my experience is that the beautifull girls with a ranking 10 mostly have character ranking 4/5..
If there are girls with 10/10....I am single...

pjfan31 · October 2011

appie wrote:

Looks is the first thing that people made interest in eachother,It starts with that.
And offcourse i did rank before...Or it will be done for me.. But my experience is that the beautifull girls with a ranking 10 mostly have character ranking 4/5..
If there are girls with 10/10....I am single...

Character ranking 4/5... thats good but isnt it?

I don't issue out 10s too often...

dimitrispearljam · October 2011

its your friend..you just tell him directly what you think about all

Johnny Abruzzo · October 2011

Not sure about your situation. But let's make this about me.

My wife & I need to tell her sister to dump her loser boyfriend. But we think if we do it will make it worse.

Mamasan23 · October 2011

Johnny Abruzzo wrote:

Not sure about your situation. But let's make this about me.

My wife & I need to tell her sister to dump her loser boyfriend. But we think if we do it will make it worse.

Ugh my sister has had some doozies and every time I told her to ditch them she just stayed with them longer. That is a hard situation!

And OP no offense but rating these girls on looks is pretty superficial. If that's what is most important to your friend, than he's probably not ready for a real relationship. So maybe you just tell your friend that - he's looking for a girl to have a good time with but nothing more. I would hesitate to lie to her...she may find out the truth and that'll ruin your friendship with her.

RKCNDY · October 2011

Mamasan23 wrote:

And OP no offense but rating these girls on looks is pretty superficial. If that's what is most important to your friend, than he's probably not ready for a real relationship. So maybe you just tell your friend that - he's looking for a girl to have a good time with but nothing more. I would hesitate to lie to her...she may find out the truth and that'll ruin your friendship with her.

What she said...

put yourself in her shoes...if she has a smoking hot friend you wanna be set up with, do you want her to say, "you're too ugly for her...she only dates 9/10 or 10/10 guys"?

Monster Rain · October 2011

Regardless of your reason for not setting her up with your friend, there's no polite way to tell someone they "aren't good enough" for someone else. It would probably be the meanest way possible to phrase it, so I'd suggest avoiding that choice of words or anything even remotely similar.

pjfan31 · October 2011

Ironic you guys judging me on judging others...

Granted, rating someone is superficial and subjective...

But you are kidding yourselves if you have never seen someone as beautiful or someone as not so beautiful based purely on their looks... Putting a mark next to it is just away of classifying it... And plenty of people do it...

Fifthelement · October 2011

pjfan31 wrote:

Ironic you guys judging me on judging others...

Granted, rating someone is superficial and subjective...

But you are kidding yourselves if you have never seen someone as beautiful or someone as not so beautiful based purely on their looks... Putting a mark next to it is just away of classifying it... And plenty of people do it...

No judgement here. I agree, we all classify and catergorise; I think what people are meaning is that even though we do it, we don't usually smack someone in the face with the harsh reality of it, if you get my drift.

pjfan31 · October 2011

Fifthelement wrote:

pjfan31 wrote:

Ironic you guys judging me on judging others...

Granted, rating someone is superficial and subjective...

But you are kidding yourselves if you have never seen someone as beautiful or someone as not so beautiful based purely on their looks... Putting a mark next to it is just away of classifying it... And plenty of people do it...

No judgement here. I agree, we all classify and catergorise; I think what people are meaning is that even though we do it, we don't usually smack someone in the face with the harsh reality of it, if you get my drift.

Finally, someone making sense... and I didn't tell her the harsh reality... I told her a lie, to make her feel better...

ZiggyStar · October 2011

pjfan31 wrote:

Ironic you guys judging me on judging others...

Granted, rating someone is superficial and subjective...

But you are kidding yourselves if you have never seen someone as beautiful or someone as not so beautiful based purely on their looks... Putting a mark next to it is just away of classifying it... And plenty of people do it...

I do it. All the fucking time.

ZiggyStar · October 2011

pjfan31 wrote:

Fifthelement wrote:

pjfan31 wrote:

Ironic you guys judging me on judging others...

Granted, rating someone is superficial and subjective...

But you are kidding yourselves if you have never seen someone as beautiful or someone as not so beautiful based purely on their looks... Putting a mark next to it is just away of classifying it... And plenty of people do it...

No judgement here. I agree, we all classify and catergorise; I think what people are meaning is that even though we do it, we don't usually smack someone in the face with the harsh reality of it, if you get my drift.

I told her a lie, to make her feel better...

Smart man. You played the situation perfectly imo.

Thoughts_Arrive · October 2011

Easy, make up a story that your mate is gay and also a fugitive wanted for illegal government phone hacking.

pjfan31 · October 2011

Kind words Ziggy...

And thoughts, that wouldn't stop her...

pandora · October 2011

wouldn't it be a kicker if they got together and fell in love
whatever the rating :?

sexual attraction is important but I don't think others can second guess that

I have seen many couples who are not 'rated' the same
live a wonderful life together, happily and equally

How do you tell a girl theyre not good enough for your mate?

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