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people who don't get that the economy is not good
Lauri
Posts: 748
for example, people who have black tie weddings in the middle of a recession. Oh sure, I'll just pull my lean times stand-by evening gown out of my closet...
groan, I have less than three weeks to come up with a couple hundred bucks (in addition to the hotel room and gift) and find a reasonably-priced dress that fits properly and is appropriate for what might be the most formal event I'll ever attend...
other examples?
groan, I have less than three weeks to come up with a couple hundred bucks (in addition to the hotel room and gift) and find a reasonably-priced dress that fits properly and is appropriate for what might be the most formal event I'll ever attend...
other examples?
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Peace
9/29/04 Boston, 6/28/08 Mansfield, 8/23/09 Chicago, 5/15/10 Hartford
5/17/10 Boston, 10/15/13 Worcester, 10/16/13 Worcester, 10/25/13 Hartford
8/5/16 Fenway, 8/7/16 Fenway
EV Solo: 6/16/11 Boston, 6/18/11 Hartford,
that is awesome
It's not family but a close friend. I've considered not going, but it seems wrong since all of my other friends are finding a way. I'm sure I can somehow manage to buy something, but I will have to take it out of savings, which means it will be one more thing for myself I wont be able to afford (I'm simultaneously trying to come up with money for a destination wedding around the holidays, I don't know if I can do both...)
did I mention this is also on a friday evening, aka a work day that everyone has to lose?
so why not take a day off and celebrate with said friend
Life is passing us all by recession or not,you cant be that skint if you have savings ;
Unless your friend doesnt mean that much to you........Go and enjoy yourself
great point...I'd say go and enjoy it...it's not every day that you get to go to a black tie event, so make the most of it. maybe turn it into a mini-vacation...borrow a dress if you can, too--that would help :-)
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
"..That's One Happy Fuckin Ghost.."
“..That came up on the Pillow Case...This is for the Greek, With Our Apologies.....”
"Life Is What Happens To You When Your Busy Making Other Plans" John Lennon
Yeah I was looking forward to it until it suddenly hit me like, wait, I'm in no position to be buying clothes I can't wear all the time right now! It's also my third wedding of the year with all the associated events, so it's just adding up at this point. Yeah I kind of did a mental inventory of the dress borrowing possibility, but I can't think of anyone who's about my size. I consignment shopped last weekend, but I didn't come up with anything.
I'd say the difference between taking a day off for a funeral and a wedding is that you can't really plan when you're going to have a funeral...I assume the friday wedding was chosen by the hosts to save themselves
money. Ordinarily, it would be that bad to take a day off I guess, but I haven't even taken a whole holiday off since the beginning of the year- I need to cash out all my time off to pay my bills. I'm sorry if I sound somehow ungrateful or whatever. I just find it odd that people would have such an extravagant event (it really does sound like the most elaborate wedding I have ever even heard of) when so many of the people attending have been laid off or just really having trouble making ends meet.
CHILLIN LIKE BOB DYLAN!!!
that said, i think it's ridiculous to spend tens of thousands of dollars on your wedding when you can use that money for a more long-term thing, like a car or down payment on a house.
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
Get together with your friends and pull resources without buying anything new .... do a swap shop/borrow accessory night.
As for a gift what about making a small donation to charity on their behalf,most charities do this and can send a wedding gift thank you.
Think out of the box on this one .... then go and have a great time.
well yeah but 1) without the guests, there really isn't much of a wedding to be had and 2) sometimes it's not even them (at least it's not in this case) it's their parents who design the event.
good luck!
I was a bridesmaid in one of the other weddings (not wearing that thing again) and that was in the spring anyway. The other was in the summer and it was a brunch so I just wore a nice skirt and top. I really don't have anything- all of my cocktail dresses are really old and don't fit quite right anymore. But I didn't mean to get into my whole wardrobe situation here. It's really beside the point. I'm buying a dress, it's my only option. I just meant it is strange to me to have such a fancy event where people have to find black tie attire and whatnot during times like these. It also just seems like a weird thing to do in general...But you've all made your point, I guess it's just me.
I am giving to charity for the gifts-I always do. I just haven't gotten enough money to do it yet!
As far as finding a dress, I'd try shopping some thrift stores rather than consignment stores. Their prices are better and you'd be surprised what you might find. Depending on where you live and who operates the store, the merchandise can be very good. Some thrift stores specialize in upscale clothing. I've purchased designer clothes at the Junior League resale shop in my town. Every thrift store I've ever visited has had evening gowns and cocktail dresses.
The basic guidelines are that you have to look at every single item on the rack. Things will often be out of place. If you think you might want something, buy it. Don't go back for it later because it will be gone.
Also, in some cities there are places that rent party dresses. You may be able to wear something stunning for less than you would spend on a dress without the problem of having it hang in your closet forever after, reminding you of the drain on your bank account.
I'm sure you'll find a way to go to your friend's wedding and still have a fun time.
i'll go out and say that there's nothing wrong with what you're friend is doing. If you can't afford it just say you can't make it, but don't hate on how someone wants their wedding to be. Thats a little harsh.
Go in on a gift with a mutual friend if you can. I got married last year, and thats what a bunch of my friends did. Or if you know them well enough, give them something more personal, two of my wife's friends gave her a scrapbook of their childhood, she loved it.
I agree....it's their wedding, not yours...if it's not economically feasible, don't go. it's really that simple...as much as you might WANT to go!
Whatever you are, be a good one --Lincoln
go and dont sweat the details, dress, present etc.
Being there is more important than spending $$$$
if the person is truly a friend they will understand-I know mine would
Examples???
THIS BOARD has ALWAYS facinated me at tour time....
People who dont have jobs...have never had jobs...who never have thought of getting a job....
Going to 5-10 shows a tour...every tour...
People who just lost their job....have no money saved....their outlook for the next few months doesnt look good....
Going to 5-10 shows a tour....every tour...
People quitting their jobs....Knowing they will be unemployed for months.....
Just so they can go see 2-3 shows.....
It just amazes me .............I work my ass off...Save my ass off.....
And am fucking thrilled to go see 2-3 shows.....
Till there aint nothing left worth taking away from me.....
Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for (PJ shows). Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?
There are different options, including not going at all, but if she wants to participate in what should be a happy occasion she feels that she ought to do things a certain way. I'd be frustrated too.
What I hope the OP can do is find a way to go to the wedding and just have a good time, end of discussion. Once she's vented here and maybe solved the dress/gift problem, just go and focus on having fun.
A group of my friends met up at SD. You think I didn't want to be there?
Or go see my friend in Portland?
Or . . . you name it!
My husband and I meet friends at ACL every year.
That's how I got my PJ this year.
well right, I'm not (or at least I don't think I am) "begrudging" anyone anything, it's just the whole nature of weddings. The thing is, if someone said to me, "hey, do you want to go away next weekend and go to a formal ball of some sort" at the moment, my answer would no, sorry I can't, I'd have buy something to wear to a formal event and I can't afford that right now. If someone said, hey do you want to skiing next weekend, I'd have to say no I can't because I don't have skiis, so I'd have to rent them and I can't afford that right now. But if someone said, hey do you want to go hiking next weekend, I'd say sure because I have hiking boots but if I didn't I wouldn't go, you get the picture. But you know, it's a wedding, you can't control the attire or where it is but you really should go if it's someone close to you, because like whoprincess said, if the guests don't come, what's the point? I don't know how many of the guests have formal attire hanging around that they can use for this, but it seems like a weird assumption to make that the majority would, especially around this time. The position that I always find myself in (as a woman anyway) is that I never have the kind of clothing that the hosts are expecting the guests to wear for their "vision" so I always find myself having to spend extra money on these things. Now I could just wear what I have in closet, which right now consists of jeans and one very gray business suit. But considering that the hosts put the dress code on the invitation, I'm assuming they'd rather I stay at home than do that!
it just seems to me that knowing the situation many of your guests might be in given the general state of things, you would try to make it feasible for the majority. Some people, probably myself included would have to shop for anything, but putting an extra restriction on things just seems like an odd move.
well yeah...but they're not really imposing anything on you. I mean if you've got the means to do stuff like that...why not? Priorities might seem out of wack...
Agreed.. if you can't afford it then just say so and not go.. or go and do it in a less extravagant way.
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5/23/2011- An utter embarrassment... ticketing failures too many to list.
But this is a lot of why I dislike formal weddings. People start to get very preoccupied with how perfect their day has to be and nothing can be allowed to spoil it because they've spent so much money and put so much thought into it blah blah woof woof. :yawn: Then it's all over a few hours later! It's crazy to me but lots of people are into that.
agreed...regardless of the economy, huge, lavish weddings are lame...who are these people trying to impress?
I think we've been generically blaming some entity called "the economy" for far too long now. "The Economy" is not the cause of all our problems.
...are those who've helped us.
Right 'round the corner could be bigger than ourselves.
well I got laid off a year ago, and I got a new job, but it pays $25K less per year with a fraction of the benefits...a lot of the higher bank fees and everything else that are eating away at people's bank accounts are a direct result of the financial crisis from last year. The cost of rent has gone up since people had to move out of their homes or not buy when they wanted too...
They technically declare recessions over at a certain point, but it doesn't mean that it's necessarily any better in reality.